To be at my wits end and hating having a toddler? What is this shit

28 replies

mhfds · 18/09/2024 07:35

Ds is 2. Me and his dad are separated but I tend to on average get Saturday 11-6 to myself. For various health reasons ex is unable to have him overnight. I use the time to see friends etc and I am often told I’m really lucky as my married friends rarely get proper ‘time off.’ I do get this and do appreciate its great to have this time.

But… am finding things horrendous with ds in the week. I work full time and some mornings he throws food, screams about getting into car seat…so much mess to clear up. The screaming the moment he’s fed up or board. I HATE it.

I feel like I’m just getting through life and surviving at the moment. No idea if ds is even happy and that makes me stressed as I do try to make sure he is but he’s so temperamental.

I am so miserable. I honestly hate it all. I cannot remember the last time I didn’t feel stressed or rushed. How is this life enjoyable? I can’t see an end but just want my own life back a bit and not to be shouted and screamed at.

OP posts:

Cornflakes44 · 18/09/2024 11:52

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 18/09/2024 11:40

Yeah, as everyone else has said, being a parent to a toddler is just utter shit, and I can only imagine it gets much harder as a single parent.

It got much easier with mine when they hist about 3.5 though. Once you can actually have a conversation with them it goes so much smoother.

I imagine being a toddler must be absolutely infuriating. You can think, you can reason, you can come up with a plan and you want to execute that plan. But every time you try these bloody annoying giants stop you. Why? Don't they know that it's a perfectly valid scientific experiment to see if this pen works on a wall, that you want to explore over the other side of that busy road, that the carpet will smell much better once I've ground my peas into it. And when you try and explain, they don't seem to understand. Tears and foot-stomping are surely universally understood forms on conversation!

This made me laugh thinking about those infuriating little scientists.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/09/2024 12:07

Really lucky my arse.

Unless their partners are abusive or completely lazy, they aren’t factoring all the benefits of having the other partner there every morning and evening, potentially sharing drop offs and pick up, and for the rest of the weekend. The being able to tag team getting ready. Someone to make a cup of tea once in a while and tell you you’re doing well.

Gettinf a few hours “completely off” (which you’re not as you’re probably trying to pack all your life admin etc into that time) doesn’t make up for all the benefits of being in a couple.

jolota · 18/09/2024 13:37

FWIW I think your married friends are talking shit; they could most likely have half a saturday to themselves while their partner looks after the kids. But they also have full time support from their partners too.
Don't beat yourself up for struggling; they definitely have it easier than you. Parenting is emotionally and physically draining.
Toddlerhood is so hard, but try to see it from your sons perspective, they don't understand why they have to do certain things. They have limited context of the world. Everything is confusing and frustrating. They have no idea why you're on a time limit in the mornings to get up and out the door, they don't even really have a proper concept of time! So they're wanting to go at their own pace and we're being mean rushing them, stopping them playing etc.
I think it can only get easier, but my biggest help was giving myself & my daughter way more time than we needed to get ready to go anywhere. If things take a long time, frustrating but fine because I'm not going to be late. If it goes quickly, great extra time to tidy up or just sit in the car park waiting for drop off.

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