Feel so scared and alone please help

[SulukiSuki]

I’m a single parent with one young DD. When she goes to bed at night, I feel really anxious and scared. I always worry if something will happen to me. I get panicky and start feeling dizzy and sick and on edge. I worry and my health and start thinking something is seriously wrong or that I have an infection and it will turn into sepsis. I get scared sometimes to sleep at night. I think because it’s just me and my DD at home but I don’t settle. I eventually fall asleep in the hours, then I’m exhausted for the school run and work. I had an ingrown toe nail minor surgery a few days ago which is starting to hurt again so now I’m thinking it’s septic. I’m just so tired of all this worrying. I don’t really have anyone to turn too

Have you spoken to the GP about your anxiety OP?

Big handhold. I don't have much advice but good to reach out to others and know this isn't good for you. Exhaustion is a big trigger for anxiety and sorry if I am wrong but it sounds like you have health anxiety? Have you addressed this with anyone? How old is your little one?
Night time is always a hard time for worries and with exhaustion and a child it can be exacerbated. Please talk and know you are not alone. Longer term maybe reach out so health visitor or GP practice for ways to help control the anxiety at night. Do you have a partner or family and friends that can help you get some rest?

You poor soul. Get help from your gp - you could be feeling so much better. Sending big hugs 🤗 I bet you’re a great mum ❤️

Please try to keep calm. I know how you feel as I was a lone parent and it's such a huge responsibility that if course you feel anxious.

But try to take comfort in the fact that every night you've been worried nothing has happened. And it's very, very unlikely that anything will.

Make sure you do all the practical things like locking doors and windows so that you don't worry about that.

As far as your health goes, again it's very unlikely that anything will happen to you. But if you are concerned about something specific (like your toe) then make sure you see someone about it (pharmacist if you can't see a doctor) to put your mind at rest.

This will start to get better if you can remain calm. Try to do some slow breathing exercises as this helps to slow your heart rate and stop you stressing.

Sending love. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Just tell the doctor what you have told us

Thank you everyone.

I just wish I could switch off at the end of the day but I can’t. I lay awake worrying. Worrying I will get unwell in the night or that I have a serious illness after googling symptoms and then I feel worse and start getting breathless. Definitely I have health anxiety.

I always listen out for every little noise. I just can’t shut off my thoughts and relax

It reads like you have quite severe anxiety OP.
Please know it can get better.
I used to be like you, but as I got to grips with my medication, had some therapy and life seemed better tge anxiety decreased significantly.
I still have bumps in the road, for example if DS has an accident I get really anxious, but generally speaking things are 98% better.

Please call your GP in the morning. You don't deserve to live this way..nobody does

I haven’t spoke to anyone about it but will try and see a GP. I don’t have many people around me that I can speak to this about in person, I just end up feeling like a burden if I do. My DD is 4. My anxiety has got worse over time

Can you identify exactly when this pattern of thought began OP? Was it triggered by something in particular, like a time when you felt very vulnerable and in danger?

Whatever the cause, you CAN be helped. You don’t have to live like this. Please talk to your GP.

Some GOs offer ten sessions of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) for anxiety. I had it with only a month wait for migraine. It didn’t help mymigraines but was brilliant for finding ways to manage anxiety. Very logical and has reset my brain. Worth a try OP?

Oh op, you poor thing. I am a single Mum & went through a stage like this, imagining her waking up & I’ve died in my sleep! It’s because it’s our worst nightmare.

It’s very very unlikely anything will happen in your sleep or any other time. Please speak to your GP, you will feel so much better.

My worries are better now my DD is older (8). She knew our address, my phone number & how to dial 999 for help when she was 5-6!

You don’t need to suffer like this.

Hi OP. I am so sorry that you are feeling like this. As others have said please get an appointment with your GP. There are times with small children when it can feel overwhelming. At times I have felt this. GP can help with some short term prescriptions and also potentially referring for talking therapy. In the meantime I would recommend downloading the Calm app which has a number of of short pieces which will may help you sleep.

I’m so sorry you feel like this, I hope you can see your GP asap. In the short term there’s some great videos on you tube that I’ve used when anxious that can help you calm down and hopefully sleep. Might be worth a try.

This can sometimes be what happens when your protective urge, as a parent, goes into overdrive. Sometimes that protective urge really misfires and you can get it with a partner or famjly. I've had that. It can produce intense anxiety as you seek to protect your little bubble. For me it lead to some compulsive behaviours that took some serious work to get through.

To help a little with your anxiety, may I suggest a visit to
https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/forum.php

I found it very helpful to spend time there. It helped me understand myself and to control my worries. Helped me a lot.

On another note.
I understand about the toe thing. You hear so many horror stories about toe infections. I myself have a load of experience in this one. If you haven't already had some, ask your GP if some fucidin cream might help. Antibiotics knock me about something rotten so my GP suggested it instead. Prescription only though. It's really good stuff. I got the whole manky ingrown toenail with occasional pus on both big toes. Is a never-ending battle because I am diabetic. It really freaks me out sometimes. You are not alone.

Are you eating well. You need good nutrition to support healing. It's all too easy for anxiety to affect your eating and that makes things worse.

I'm going to suggest a weird one for helping get to sleep. When it's night, and I can't sleep for worrying, I break out my colouring app on my phone. Tap Color Pro is the one I use but there are loads. Paint by number/tapping the colours in. It calms my brain and often fall asleep doing it.

You poor love, anxiety is such a bastard! Please do make an appointment with your GP and tell them how you're feeling. With treatment and support it will get so much better, I promise. You are not alone, anxiety is very common and lots and lots
of people suffer. So please don't feel embarrassed or ashamed to see your doctor and get help.

Tonight if you're struggling right now, Google breathing exercises and meditation for anxiety/panic attacks, they really do help by slowing down and controlling your breathing. You are safe and your little one is safe. Sending you gentle hugs 💐

OP, I was living on my own with my DS since he was around 8 months old.

It's normal to have a few "what ifs" when it's just the two of you and you don't have a live in partner to share the load. He's late twenties now so we both survived!

Do you work OP? I found working helps to take your mind off things and not to fixate on all the worst case situations. I know nowadays child care can be an issue, but it will be good for you and your child to be with other people on a regular basis.

And as others have said do talk to your GP. At some surgeries you can even refer yourself directly to a well being counsellor at the GP practice.

I would suggest as other PP have said speak to your GP about the anxiety and they can offer support in CBT (although don't know how long the waiting lists are) or anti anxiety meds (my husband takes them) .

My DDs school introduced a what to do in an emergency sheet, in yr 1, which included knowing their address and where the phone was if they needed it and who to call e.g. 999. Do you think this might help your anxiety if your DC knew what to do in an emergency?

I developed a fear when my son was a baby that I would die during the day (dh out 6-6) and ds would be alone screaming and scared.

I managed it with having a lunchtime text/call with dh.

But it was only part of the issue and I ended up having CBT which helped massively. And I had some hypnotherapy sessions which calmed me a lot.

Some practical things you could do-
Improve security on your house.
Teach your dc to ring 999 in emergency, teach her her address.
Use sleep stories/music to drop off.
Try meditation to learn to feel comfortable with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.

But I would also recommend seeing gp and asking for a counselling referral

Hi OP, sending you a hig. It's hard being the only adult.

For your anxiety, I'd suggest you find c15mins a day and follow this https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aTIV9djESbY

I find zen meditation (though I didn't know what it was until I was on a fairground ride and was scared and found switching off helped massively) to be the biz. It takes such a short time but lasts all day. Maybe start with one in the morning and one at around 9pm so you're mind is quiet in readiness for sleep.

Of course go conventional too and see a doc. Good luck.