To ask if you go out for lunch solo?

[Hesxboon]

I have a day to myself Tomorow well afternoon once dd is in nursery. Really want to get my eyebrows sorted and go for lunch, maybe a bit of shopping. Why do I feel like I’m strange for going on my own? Especially lunch. Does anyone else do this? My dd is a handful and I never really get time to myself or to relax, or when I do I just do housework or the endless washing I have most days. Would you find someone lunching on their own odd? Or am I overthinking it?

This is interesting cos I've just been told I must consider myself to be "flaming hot" if I think I'm going to be harassed by men. Didn't think I was that "hot" but I definitely do get harassed!

I would say I'm quite attractive but don't get harassed by men whenever I eat alone.

I don’t think it’s about whether you’re hot or not, but whether you’re unfortunate enough to be in the vicinity of a predator.

Sorry. I guess these days we're not allowed to ask someone's sex (or gender). Should I have asked her or his pronouns?

Breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner. I can happily sit on my own over a meal!

I'm not saying it's not a problem. It can occasionally be - though I would have thought lunch alone was about as low risk as it gets - but I have always lived my life on the basis of doing so on my own terms and developing strategies for dealing firmly with unwanted attention. I am fucked if I am going to hide away because some men are low life's, predators, or just common or garden boors who are clueless about social cues. What do we do, wait for them all to become enlightened? That is certainly not going to happen but we have to carry on regardless.

I never said anything about pronouns but you seem to think that posters who don't have difficulties eating alone must be men.

I remember being harassed by men when I was travelling alone in Spain in my twenties and eating in restaurants. Latin men, young blonde woman. I am sure I was a bit of a curiosity. And it was in tourist areas, out on the terrace, where the vibe was less people having lunch on work breaks etc and so I guess they might have thought I had time and inclination to chat (I did not).

But I have never even been harassed doing the same in the UK, even when I was the same age as I was when Spaniards were sleazing over me. I genuinely can’t picture the scene of a British man approaching a lone woman at a cafe table. I live in London. People just ignore each other mostly. Sleazy approaches happen in bars not cafes and restaurants.

I don't think it's because they don't have difficulties eating alone that indicates they may be a man, more the whole implication that men harassing women doesn't happen and isn't a problem

People can only speak as they find, I suppose.

YADNBU.

I don't anymore because I did a few times only to be hassled and fat shamed. It's hard enough when you have an eating disorder to deal with that. Cafes don't seem to like people eating or having a coffee on their own as it's taking up a table. They seem to like larger groups. When out I eat snacks in the car instead. It's a shame as it would have been nice.

No one will notice
They're all on their phone

Would you find someone lunching on their own odd?

Of all the meals, lunch time is the one when the most people will fit whatever reason be on their own. Absolutely take yourself out for lunch. Enjoy and plan to do so again as soon as ever possible.

I love eating out on my own!

Prefer it!

I don't "seem to think". I just asked. But I'm surprised if you too are saying you've never had problems from men.

I'd rather have company but do rarely have lunch out by myself if I'm out on my own and know that I won't make it home for lunch. I enjoy it actually!

If I'm out shopping on my own and I'm hungry and it's lunch time then yes, I'll have lunch on my own. I've never even thought it might be wierd. I also have breakfast out alone

I also work next to a pub which does lovely lunches. I probably have my lunch there alone about once a fortnight. I feel no embarrassment.

Do it OP. Hope you enjoy it.

Breakfast in an hotel alone this morning. Was glorious.

I'm puzzled by the PP who said so much planning was required if she wanted to eat out alone. I've been eating out alone for forty-odd years. The only planning required was making sure I had all the stuff I'd want for the day in my backpack, and getting the train into town and possibly trams elsewhere. I've never been harassed by men while eating out (and rarely in general). I'm well aware that isn't typical. I don't eat at pubs, because I loathe the smell of beer (and cigarettes until they were banned indoors) and don't like drinkers of either sex. Now that I drive there's only the matter of finding a car park. What's all the planning - unless it refers to having to get children organised first - involved?

And I am surprised you are surprised.

I would think I had failed at parenting if my child got to adulthood and couldn’t navigate simple daily tasks such as eating lunch in a cafe on their own

Disabilities aside, to an extent, as through DPs work I know many people who are registered as disabled but live very independent lives, including going out for a sandwich in their own.

I find it strange that you need someone to do these things with. Personally....eyebrow waxing and shopping is much better alone. Lunch is lunch....we all need to eat!

Agree.

That's definitely an advantage of getting older - one, men hassle you a lot less and two, you don't give a fuck about telling them to "get tae" if they do start any nonsense

My perfect day out is lunch then the cinema, both solo.

I'm not intending to be argumentative. I can "navigate" eating alone. What I can't navigate is men! Well OK I can and I DO hourly but I don't like doing so.
Maybe I am "hot" but no "hotter" than friends who say the same.
But I'm NOT saying that I can't eat alone and I'm not trying to disagree with what you say. I just get fed up with men hitting on me. Period - as Americans would say.

I'd say this is a very odd post.

I'm on MN far too much quite a bit, and haven't seen this multitude of threads.

I am absolutely prepared to believe that other people's experiences are often different from mine, but I'm not prepared to pretend that it is impossible to be able to go for lunch in your local Costa / Subway / Supermarket / Pret / Nero / Independent cafe or whatever is in your local shopping centre or High Street, without being harassed.

I've been eating lunch out alone in all sorts of different places (including pubs and transport cafes) for 40+ years and have never once been harassed eating lunch. Potentially you could say I am lucky, or an exception, but I don't think so.
I have daughters in their 20s who are also perfectly capable of going and getting a bite to eat on their own without being harassed.

I would think I had failed at parenting if my child got to adulthood and couldn’t navigate simple daily tasks such as eating lunch in a cafe on their own

I agree with this.