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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask them to not let DD nap ?

17 replies

helssh · 17/09/2024 22:04

Hi all

My DD who has just turned 3 has dropped her naps roughly 6 months ago (unlike her older sister who napped until the day before she started school)

Now .. DD goes to nursery 2 days a week. They know she doesn't nap and I remind them every day to not put her down for a nap? Why? Because even if she gets 30 mins nap during the day she's still awake by 1am which sets us back the day after etc

Then by the time we get her back into a nice routine bed at 7pm then she sleeps through .. it's nursery day again ..

The nursery staff keep putting her down for a nap .. saying DD wanted to sleep. I find that really hard to believe since I spend the other 5 days of the week with her and she would never voluntarily put herself down for a nap.
I have asked them 100 times to not let her nap yet here we are every day at debrief I get told DD has had between 30 mins - 2h nap.

She's currently in DHs arms crying that she's not tired and won't go to sleep. I know we probably won't get to bed until 1am now.

AIBU to ask them to keep her awake?
Is this unheard of?

OP posts:
Notfastjustfurious · 17/09/2024 22:10

I had the same issue when my dd was at nursery, an extended blink meant we were up all night. I think it's easier for the staff if all the kids nap in the afternoon. They never stopped despite being reminded at every drop off.

TomatoSandwiches · 17/09/2024 22:13

She's probably a bit busier and active at nursery isn't she, the environment is different to home so I can believe that she needs a nap there tbh.
Perhaps ask them to limit it to 20mins instead or change the hours to 3hrs over 5 days instead of 2 full days?

Original poster
helssh · 17/09/2024 22:13

Notfastjustfurious · 17/09/2024 22:10

I had the same issue when my dd was at nursery, an extended blink meant we were up all night. I think it's easier for the staff if all the kids nap in the afternoon. They never stopped despite being reminded at every drop off.

Yes that's what I think too. It's easier if they all go to sleep.. whilst I sympathise.. I am furious at the same time. We are knackered, I've been at work all day and so has DH and I would've liked to be in bed asleep by 9pm. Yeh here we are 😭

OP posts:
ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 17/09/2024 22:14

I think in your shoes I’d try arranging to go in for a formal meeting with the manager to really spell it out. Things said to the room staff at drop off are easily disregarded. If they still won’t support you after that then I’d be looking for a different nursery. They’re causing you a massive problem.

Original poster
helssh · 17/09/2024 22:15

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 17/09/2024 22:14

I think in your shoes I’d try arranging to go in for a formal meeting with the manager to really spell it out. Things said to the room staff at drop off are easily disregarded. If they still won’t support you after that then I’d be looking for a different nursery. They’re causing you a massive problem.

That's what DH has just suggested, we'll go in on Monday and speak to one of the managers and see if things change.

OP posts:
Phen0menon · 17/09/2024 22:16

Nurseries are awful for this. They all do it, they will try their darndest to put your child for an afternoon nap as long as they can.

Can you swap to a preschool that doesn't take under 3s? They often don't have sleeping space at all and don't expect the children to nap.

Snowpaw · 17/09/2024 22:19

Could she be in her room having quiet time in the evening or something even if she doesn't want to actually sleep yet? Would she listen to an audio book or do colouring, or play with something if you gave her something to occupy her?

Scarftown · 17/09/2024 22:22

We had this problem. Unfortunately they wouldn't cap the nap or prevent it and obviously my daughter just joined the others and since all the rest were napping she did too. We looked at swapping nursery's but that wasn't as easy as we thought with the sessions we needed. In the end we had a very frustrating year and she moved up to the preschool room ( same nursery) and non me napped and she went back to no naps and decent bedtimes. A lot of the other parents moaned then as their kid that still needed naps never got one.

Lovelysummerdays · 17/09/2024 22:26

I had this issue too. They still let him sleep. The nursery policy is that children were left to wake naturally so sometimes a 2 hour nap. I do think it’s because it’s easier for them whereas at home you push through as you have to deal with the consequences.

Potplant19 · 17/09/2024 22:30

They should have some kind of sleep policy which you can ask to see. I get it from their point of view - a day at nursery is more tiring/overwhelming than a day at home, so young children are more likely to be inclined to nap, and it's not great to deny them that. Our nursery states that once they've gone to sleep they won't wake them up before 40 minutes, but will do after that if that's what is wanted.

mrssunshinexxx · 17/09/2024 22:34

Yes absolutely firmly tell them no naps

AgainandagainandagainSS · 17/09/2024 22:36

helssh · 17/09/2024 22:15

That's what DH has just suggested, we'll go in on Monday and speak to one of the managers and see if things change.

Show quote history

Agree with this. Video how she is if you have to and show them the time stamp. It’s not on for them to disrupt her sleep routine (and your entire night and following day). You have work to focus on, cars to drive or transport to navigate safely etc.

NuffSaidSam · 17/09/2024 22:38

Do you pull them up on it at pick-up?

I'd question it and make a fuss every time.

qualifiedazure · 18/09/2024 10:25

They can't keep her awake if she wants to nap though.

Shoesshoes87 · 18/09/2024 10:32

I keep my LO awake at home all day for the same reason. Buuuut he gets super grumpy and it takes a lot of effort to keep him awake at danger nap time time lol and this involves giving him a super long bath lol.

they can’t do that at nursery so I ask them to try not to let him nap a certain amount but not to worry if they struggle to wake him as I don’t want him spending his afternoons at nursery being miserable. It’s such a tricky balance!

OnNaturesCourse · 18/09/2024 10:35

My DC nursery have told me that if a child wants to nap, or even just settles for one when suggested, they are not allowed to discourage them or wake them. It's all to do with being child led and the rights of a child. Which I find ridiculous.

I'm based in Scotland so not sure if it's the same where you are.

takealettermsjones · 18/09/2024 10:36

Phen0menon · 17/09/2024 22:16

Nurseries are awful for this. They all do it, they will try their darndest to put your child for an afternoon nap as long as they can.

Can you swap to a preschool that doesn't take under 3s? They often don't have sleeping space at all and don't expect the children to nap.

Absolutely this - is there a preschool attached to the school you want to send her to maybe?

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