13 year old son struggling to get to sleep. Help please?

[Mrsmagpie74]

Hi, just after some support around sleep for my just 13 year old son. He’s had periods over the years where he can’t get off to sleep if something is worrying him but it’s usually just a one off but over the last 6 weeks or so he has found it hard to get to sleep every night. He usually winds down for sleep around 10-10:30 but is often still awake after midnight and then ends up distressed and the last few nights has still been awake up till 2am. We have tried letting him switch on his light and read but he just gets really upset and this is really upsetting the whole family who are also not sleeping well and upset and worried for him. Any experiences gratefully received x

He is going to bed way too late.

He should have a bath in the evening, light supper( toast and banana - it helps you sleep and warm milk) and in bed for 9pm. Lights out at 9.45pm.

No mobile after 9pm and you take the phone away and give back in the morning.

Make sure bed sheets are changed for fresh ones every few days. Use a sleep spray on pillows. Have background music, maybe classic fm

He is maybe worried about something, so try and have a chat to see if anything is on his mind.

If you have Audible, maybe he could try listening to a story or suitable documentary or podcast in bed. It might help him switch off.

When I have this problem and can't stop ruminating, I find the only thing that works is listening to sleep story podcasts, which I do via YouTube (with screen turned over). I've tried wave and rain sounds but those don't stop me thinking. Stories are so much better.

My favourite channel is Get Sleepy, which has lots and lots of stories. I've yet to get to the end of one before fall asleep. I think some of these could work for a teenager.

My DS takes magnesium at night. It does help

My 13 year old is going through this but it's new for us. His doctor says it's probably hormonal with the changes due to puberty. He does like sleeping in on the weekends which is also new for him.
His bed time is 9 pm.

Sleepcasts on Headspace have been great for me. I'm asleep before the story finishes. They have just started some for children.

I'd start bedtime an hour earlier. Tell him it's completely normal for humans to sometimes struggle to sleep. Let him listen to audio books or read. Buy a nice light to make the room really cosy.

Also build in more exercise in the afternoons/early evenings, followed by a shower or bath.

A pad next to his bed to write any worries down, to be talked about the next day.

It's hard, but the worst thing for sleep is worrying about sleep.

Are you serious? I have 11 years old boy and none of his friends goes to bed at 9:45pm. Thse are not 7 years olds

Magnesium glycinate. The other types work slightly different way

Is he getting enough exercise to tie him out physically?

my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/circadian-rhythm

"Circadian rhythm in teenagers
During their teen years, your child may experience a sleep phase delay, which is a shift in their circadian rhythm. When they were younger, they had early bedtimes (8:00 p.m. or 9:00 p.m.).
But your teen may not get tired until much later now. Their melatonin level may not rise until around 10:00 p.m. or 11:00 p.m. And as they’re going to bed later, they need to sleep later into the morning. Teenagers still need nine to 10 hours of sleep a night"

Warm milk with a tiny bit of suger

How much exercise is he getting? I’m considerably older than your son but I’ve noticed that I get off to sleep much quicker if I’ve exercised that day, while it takes longer to drift off following a sedentary sort of day.

Then your child is going to bed far too late. There is a crisis of young people not getting enough sleep and it affecting their mental health and schoolwork. Parenting seems to be the root of it …..

My 13 year old DS has been struggling to get to sleep/stay asleep the past week or so - he says he isn’t worrying about anything so I think it might be down to his brain being busy with back to school and hormones too. He does a lot of exercise so it’s not that.

He’s always been early to bed and early to rise though - usually asleep by 9 (earlier than his younger brother) but up early. We try not to make an issue about sleep - being in bed resting is still good even if you’re not asleep etc Sleep stories/music are good to relax his mind too.

This really stuck out to me "We have tried letting him switch on his light and read" - why are you having to 'let' a 13 year old read? Seems rational he'd be anxious if you are imposing a set bed/sleep time where he isn't allowed to read. As others said, lots of physical activity, no screens for a couple of hours before bed, making sure the room is dark and cool. He could try a podcast or audio book, that always help me fall asleep. Even lying in bed with a book or podcast is rest, I'd really help him understand that it doesn't matter so much about sleep and not to worry about amount of sleep.

Well he has boundaries and a bedtime like all my children. I ‘let’ him read because it’s at midnight after he has been in bed for 2 hours.

How much exercise is he getting? Is he physically tired?

10/10.30 is too late.
He's missing his sleep window.
Bedtime needs to be an hour earlier

Are you serious? I have 11 years old boy and none of his friends goes to bed at 9:45pm. Thse are not 7 years olds

NHS recommends 9-12 hours sleep for 6-12yos. Actual bedtime (in bed, light off, ready to sleep) will depend on time they have to get up in the morning.

www.gosh.nhs.uk/conditions-and-treatments/procedures-and-treatments/sleep-hygiene-children/