To think I can leave abusive husband even with all these issues

[littleredbumblebee]

Basically my husband is abusive. Everything is my fault, he puts me down all the time. He throw things and breaks things on a regular basis not at me granted.
he won’t take any criticism at all and it all comes back on me. He belittles me all the time.
I have one DS who is 12. I have epilepsy and fibro. We are 20 grand in debt from his spending and refusing to work much. We have mortgage that I cant afford on my own. I am on PIP.

I did have family who will support me but no financial help. It is possible to leave and get sorted even with all these against me

I think women's aid could advise with financial advice and with supportive family think this is totally doable for a better life.

Yes, however daunting it seems your life will be so much better for it. You're not happy, he isn't kind to you.

You can do this!!

Please leave. This sounds hellish. If you have supportive family is there a spare bed or sofa you could stay on until you get professional help.

It is totally possible @littleredbumblebee. Good luck, you deserve a much better life than the one you're living.

Absolutely leave as soon as you can safely do so. Just imagine the feeling of peace when he is no longer screaming at you or throwing things? When his stupid debts are no longer your debts?

The last straw was he was throwing things round the living room and smashing them and then said I was pathetic for trembling.

he was because he said I snapped at him.

The thing is everyone thinks he is mr wonderful as I have disabilities. He never does this in public. He gets told how wonderful he is being with me and supporting me.

You CAN do this, for yourself and you child. No, you probably won't have the security of a mortgaged home, but you could be in a rental with all or some of the rent covered by uniersal credit.
Take some time before you tell him you are divorcing him, get help from Women's Aid, gather all documents , financial, insurance, pensions etc and get passports and birth certificates copied if not squirrelled away.
Get your head fully around your financial situation before you speak to a solicitor, a free session might not be long enough to get all the advice you need, try and find the money for a full hour if you can.
It is a massive leap to make, but worth it and as you have both a child an ongoing medical needs the financial side will be balanced in you favour.

Hell yea. Get your ducks in a row. Get legal advice and get you and your child out of there, leave the twat to it. Its going to take time but yes absolutely possible and necessary

I've known friends recover completely from long term CFS and Fibromyalgia after leaving an abusive husband...

The seizures and fibro are caused by stress a lot of the time so I am thinking they could well improve

So that is how he gets his narcissistic supply. He enjoys privately abusing you and getting public praise as a good husband. After the horrific rape case coming out if France I think its very easy to just say to people “you don’t know the real man: an angel abroad and a devil at home is our reality.”

He sounds cruel and dangerous. Get searching for all sources of support with domestic abuse in your neighborhood.

You're more likely to be able to sort out the debt issues and any other issues when you are free from the stress of being abused. Believe me. Good luck x