To ask how you'd approach this friend/hotel room situation?

[YouBelongWithMe]

My friend and I are booked to visit a European city next month. Three nights away together, we're really looking forward to it.

We got a great deal of a nice room in a four star spa hotel for £165, which we split.

Since then I've relapsed a little in my health and I am quite restless. I itch a lot at night and often am awake for periods of the night.

I would like to book myself my own room and gift her my 'share' of the room we initially planned to use together.

I have a couple of Qs:

Would you be annoyed if a friend changed the nature of your trip like this?

Also, how do I insist without taking any money from her (I know her, she's going to want to offer to pay for my half of the original room)? I feel like this is my decision to change the set up so I should take the hit on the money.

TIA

She'll be pleased to have her own room. I don't think you need to worry about it at all. She might make noises about giving you the extra few quid, but you'll refuse and that's that.

Sounds a very acceptable plan to me, one that will ensure you can both really relax and enjoy the holiday

Why would anyone be annoyed by having an upgrade? Just say no to the offer of the money and say she can take you out for dinner one of the nights instead.

Just say what you've said here and say you insist on being in your own room and you know that's not her fault so you don't want her out of pocket.

All sounds fine! As you say it’s your decision to change the set up, so you should take the financial hit and if you make it clear it’s related to your medical condition then there’s no reason why your friend should be offended or anything. Is the hotel part of a larger chain because if your friend is likely to try to insist on paying towards the extra room then you could tell a small white lie and say you got it on reward points?! Or just tell her she can buy drinks one night to even things out? That way she can feel like she’s contributed but it’s in a low stakes not expensive way so hopefully you’ll both be happy with that! Hope you have a good trip, you both sound lovely so should make for a good drama free combo!

If she’s the kind of person that would feel like she’d want to pay, could you suggest she buys dinner one night instead as a compromise?

I’d always be happy with an upgrade to my own room - and it doesn’t mean you can’t get ready, have drinks, hang out like you would if you were sharing. You’ll just have your own space to sleep.

Why would anyone be annoyed by having better accommodation than they’d envisaged?

Your plan is fine - you aren’t costing her any extra money. If she wants to pay tell her she’s buying drinks on the first night or something

I wouldn't see any issue with this OP.
I presume you have checked that there is another room available that you can book.

This won't be an issue, if she gets insistent say she can pay for dinner or drinks or something else

Try to insist but please consider just letting her pay if she really pushes. Or offer to go halves on your half / you take her out for a nice meal while you're there as a compromise. It sounds like you got a great deal on the break but if it was me I would actually be relieved to find I was going to have my own room rather than sharing. If my friend was paying half of mine and all of hers it would make me feel very uncomfortable.

This is my fear, that she feels uncomfortable with how the cost ratio falls.

If she wants to 'even' it up a bit, sating she can get special drinks somewhere or pick up lunch is a great shout.

I do actually have £60 credit in whatever Hotels.com reward scheme is, so I am actually getting the extra room for just over £100. For me that's a total no brainer in terms of having my own space to sleep without worrying about disturbing her.

I am the same as you, I always pay extra when I go away with friends for a single room as I am very restless at night due to pain / insomnia. She's a friend, she'll understand,surely?

Or say nothing, rock up to the hotel and act delighted when they give you 2 keys!

Tell her, the sleeping part of sharing a room
is the annoying bit, so I’m sure she’ll prefer to sleep solo too.

Maybe have a think about how you will tell each other what time breakfast, or post lunch nap times etc are over, so that neither of you are waiting awkwardly for the other.

maybe if you were planning to chill out in the room together some evenings (watching a film or doing nails etc etc) you could still do that.

Hell no I'd be chuffed to bits to have a room all to myself..

I go away with two friends once a year and one of the stipulations is that we each get our own rooms, menopause and other joyous health complaints mean we are all restless, itch, snore and other horrid things mean we all need our own space to sleep (or not as the case may be)

That’s very thoughtful of you. I think your friend will appreciate you taking her comfort into account.

If I was your friend I'd insist on helping you out during a difficult time for you. I'd love the idea of my own room and if you won't accept payment for the room I'd find other ways to spoil you whilst away (if in a position to do so). I'd also not expect a friend to foot the bill for my upgrade. So stop over thinking it and have a fabulous holiday with your friend

I'd be more than happy to suddenly get a room to myself, definitely the best option and as you say if she feels uncomfortable about the cost then suggest cocktails, slap up meal or luxury spa treatment!

Have a fab time stop stressing and ENJOY!😍

I doubt she'd be upset at having a room to herself. And you can say you had points to use towards the other room of she is niggling on the cost.

. I itch a lot at night and often am awake for periods of the night.

sounds like you’ve started the peri menopause, could be wrong.

I would simply tell her that you discovered that you had enough points in the reward scheme to book an extra room. There's no need to go into detail about it only being a proportion of the cost.

I'd feel uncomfortable not paying my way, but I'd celebrate someone using their rewards points to give us both a better experience!

I had a friend who was struggling a bit financially, but who I wanted to be able to eat out with occasionally. So I used to use my Tesco clubcard vouchers to pay for our meals, so it was a freebie for both of us.

I'd just tell her the truth, book your own room and insist you don't want her to pay any more.
I wouldn't be offended if I was your friend. I would probably at least offer to pay you for the half of my room though because I'd prefer to have my own room anyway