to want our PTA to host a ladies night?

[tiredlady]

My dc go to a lovely school. It is very mixed, with about 50% of kids coming from an asian muslim background. The PTA events are hardly ever attended by the asian mums as there is alcohol served and most of them don't feel comfortable about mixing with men. Recently some of us an the PTA have thought it might be a nice idea to have a ladies night, with food, music etc, but obviously no men. There is HUGE support for this from the asian mums,as they feel inadvertantly excluded from other PTA events. There is a lot of hostility to this event from some PTA members who feel we would be discriminating against men. I feel that in a school with such a diverse mix, one event in the whole school year to include a group of people who normally feel excluded is not being unreasnable.

When I mean "ladies" I mean all ladies, not just asian ones ( in case that wasn't clear)

I think that is a great idea. The people who object could hold a mans night if they want too, so no one feels left out.

That's quite common isn't it? Pampering/ladies' shopping evenings seem to be a regular fundraising thingy round here.

Well that's what I said. If the men felt left out, then maybe we could do a dad's event. But, no. Some people felt all PTA events should be for everybody, therefore no exclusive events. I just think that's daft

But the events aren't for everyone if a lot of the mums won't come.

You could always put a note out to parents asking if they would atten dthis is it was to go ahead.

we tend to do this and test the water so as not to waste our time and resources.

Nothing wrong with a "ladies night" we have done them at the school i work at before!

Well surely the nights that alcohol is served is excluding 50% anyway. Why doesn't the PTA feel that those nights are discriminatory?

At my boys' prep school, we had Ladies Pampering evenings which were very successful. I can't remember if there was alcohol or not, but it would be very easy not to serve it if it meant exluding a large proportion of mums.

I think most dads would be quite happy to be excluded from PTA events.

We also had ladies Bingo Nights which were lots of fun.

I have done 2 with preschool, and they were great.
One of them was mainly stalls, especially local women selling stuff.
The other had all beauty treatments and was very popular.
Brilliant idea.

kayzisexpecting has a very valid point - serving alcohol is automatically excluding those whose religion bans it - are you on the PTA tiredlady or are you just asking them to organise this event.

i think a ladies night is pretty normal - we have had one at our school, at the gym, with the nct - i doubt the dads mind at all

have you offered to organise it, or are you hoping someone else will do it? i wonder if that is a reason for the lack of enthusiastic response?

its quite an easy one to do if you do go for it - get local beauticians/therapists to come along and charge 5-10 for each treatment. chocolate fountain. a drink on entry - sparkling wine/soft drink etc etc
things to buy etc

Yes, nametaken, I am on the PTA and a group of us are offering to organise it. We offered to hold a mens event if anyone was interested but were told this would not be fair on those kids that didn't have a dad! It kind of feels that we are not allowed to offend anybody, apart from muslim women.
Thanks for the suggestions newgirl - chocolate fountain, mmmm....

can you just go ahead and organise it anyway? It's not like you need permission is it. Although presumably the head has to agree to you using the school hall.

This is the main reason why I gave up helping out on PTA committees. I was on the pre-school one and then on the school one and all I ever found was 2 or 3 really bossy women running the show who would say they needed new members but in reality all they wanted new members for was to have more people to say no to.

Tiredlady, I am on the fundraising committee for my DC's PTA and we just did exactly this! It was only last Thursday in fact. It was great. WE had a room in a hotel for the evening for free, but the bar was open, so they made plenty of money I'm sure. We charged 15 euro in, and about 150 women came.

If it's a fundraising event you can do what you like. It's mostly the mums who all know eachother. Actually, we had a few men, because they are househusbands, and they were roped in to help. Taking photos and on the door.

I don't think any of the Dads were upset that they weren't invited to buy local crafts and make-up etc (with a % donated to the school). WE had a colour me beautiful woman who gave a general talk. Greenhouse clothes (ethical cotton clothes from denmark). ...

Wow, MC - 15x150!

If they don't drink alcohol are they not allowed to be in the same room as it?

Sorry, I genuinely don't know the rules on this one.

Only Euros mind you but still! There was a raffle too, and I walked up and down the main street asking local businesses for donations. Most of them get it and give you something, even if it's only a bottle of wine. But we got some great things, perfume box sets, meals for two.... vouchers for a hair cut. All sorts. Tickets to the theatre! I am so exhausted chugging and blagging though!!

But at least we will get our interactive whiteboards now. Whatever they are apparently we couldn't do without them.

I can relax for a fortnight now until we have to start organising the next event. Only about 30% of the parents are on board with fundraising. Some look at the ground and that's that. Some ARGUE with you that they aren't giving any money on principle! Because the government should be funding the school. Well of course they should, and there shouldn't be MRSA in the hospitals. But if if if if my auntie had balls she'd be my uncle. So they can't face a little bit of tin-rattling, they shouldn't send their child to a small underfunded school. The Same parents CHOSE the school possibly because the accent is nicer and the children are more wholesome. They've no objection to that. Rant, bloody, rant.

Even for a school event???

Call it a health and beauty fundraiser!! We didn't have anybody turn up at the door and ask, so, what time are the strippers?? A few people did say 'where is the bar?'

Tell the negative moaners and whingers that you would be 100% behind some of the DADS getting together to organise a night for the men. Doesn't have to be fathers. Just men. Brothers, uncles, Granddads. Most children will have ONE of those.

PS I'm a single mother and I wouldn't think twice about the no Dad thing. We are organising a 'Family Day' in the grounds of the school soon (bouncy castle, magician...pony rides, picnics).

I will be one of the few mothers without a husband. I will bring my Mum, like I always do! I feel like an awkward chump but you just have to suck it up.........