Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I expecting too much?

3 replies

YOUSEECOLOURS · 15/09/2024 23:23

My husband had a season ticket to the football.... I don't mind, he's had it since we'll before we have been together and I wouldn't expect that to change.

My problem is that we have two kids (one together 3 and the other mine from a previous relationship 12) therefore the workload around the house isn't easy.

Its the start of the new season and he mentioned tonight that there was a home game next weekend following a home game yesterday. I said 'no problem...not going to lie, I hate football season' and he said 'well tough shit'. I know he meant it in the sense that he wasn't going to miss matches which I fully understand and am on board with.... But there was no acknowledgement to the extra work that puts on me each week. He then said that he doesn't have a problem with me going out if I want.... I dont have any hobbies (used to go to the theatre whilst I had access to cheaper tickets but that stopped last year), I dont mind and don't begrudge him of his but he doesn't ever do extra around the house to make up for the time he is out (a home game can start at 3pm and he will leave at 11am and not be home until 6pm as he had a drink either side of the match)

AIBU to expect him to do some more whilst around to make up for the time he is out? To put it in to perspective he had a child free day off work on Friday and slept half of it and did a food shop.... I had a day with both kids today and blitzed the house, cleaning toy cupboards etc, cooked a roast and cleaned the kitchen etc....

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 15/09/2024 23:31

He’s taking the proverbial! Heading out four hours before a match starts for a drink? News flash. Your life changes when you have kids. He needs to pull his weight.
Tough shit? Would be if you split and he actually had to do half of the parenting. Wouldn’t be boozing then!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/09/2024 23:35

Wolfiefan · 15/09/2024 23:31

He’s taking the proverbial! Heading out four hours before a match starts for a drink? News flash. Your life changes when you have kids. He needs to pull his weight.
Tough shit? Would be if you split and he actually had to do half of the parenting. Wouldn’t be boozing then!

I can’t really improve on this reply!

His use of language is also very disrespectful- it’s not for him to decide unilaterally what is “tough shit” - he can’t dismiss you in this way, or not without consequences.

Anyonefortennistoday · 16/09/2024 00:42

Yes the " tough shit" comment is really unpleasant and derisory of you.

I've known a lot of football season ticket holders and for the most part football is the overriding thing in their lives. I've seen marriages break up over the fact the football is more important than their family life. It sounds as though your DH is one who values his football and the social routine as sacred.

He really should acknowledge his hobby has an impact on you. He should be prepared to be flexible if really required. And he should try and put in extra support to make up for the time which his football routine gives him to himself and the onus it puts on you.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page