how to tell someone to shut the F up.

[distractmeagain]

have worked with a person for the past 8 years, in all that time she has had relationship problems. she comes in, huffing and sighing, then spends most of her shift watching her cctv at home and complaining when her partner does something he isn't supposed too or hasn't told her about.

this year, he has left.. and she's stuff going on, huffing and puffing, doing no real work, everything is negative negative negative.. the constantly checking the cctv back at the house (where he isn't even living now) and generally bringing the whole mood down.

i'm sick of it.. i have no choice but to work with her because everyone else has refused too. i can't complain to her line manager because she's best buddies with them and always going off for 'welfare meetings' leaving me to carry the workload again.

i'm exhausted, im at a point where i dread going to work because her monologue about her life just goes on and on and on..

i appreciate she's been having relationship issues.. but 8 years surely its time to call it a day.

AIBU to tell her to shut up!

I'd find another job

I'd refuse to work with her, if others refuse to, then you're pretty much valid in saying the same. Start searching for a new job. It sounds bloody annoying.

Why can’t you complain to your line manager?

So what if she’s best buddies with her.

If it means she stops talking to you because she finds out you’ve complained about her, then surely that’s a win?

"i'm sick of it.. i have no choice but to work with her because everyone else has refused too. i can't complain to her line manager because she's best buddies with them and always going off for 'welfare meetings' leaving me to carry the workload again."

Why are you being such a mug?

You are not BU to want this to stop but in the workplace you need better words (however tempting it is to tell her to shut up). I had this once and just responded 'don't you think its time to move on and by the way did you get xyzzy finished', but you need to get in early before the monologue takes hold.

I have been known to walk off or put on headphones after 5 minutes of a monologue - if they ask why I just said the earhole service has reached max limit for the day.

Can you have a chat with someone higher up? Her manager's boss?

I’m not sure I understand people telling you to tell her boss or a manager higher up - you have to address it with her first, it’s actually unfair to go over her head in this way if you haven’t at least attempted to speak to her about it and given her the chance to take your feedback on board.

It’s never easy but you need to make it clear that you don’t want to have these types of conversation at work and that you’re much more productive when you can keep your focus on your work and not have chats about other things. (Works both ways of course, means you have to be ultra professional with her an and not talk about anything relating to your life outside of work either). Might take her a while to cotton on but if you reinforce it she will get the message in the end, downside is she might be hostile about it but you just need to remember that is her problem and not yours. You need to be blunt but not unkind.