To mention this, or am I making a big deal out of nothing?

[StolenShortcake]

I moved house when I was 37 weeks pregnant with my toddler. I took my antenatal classes near my new house, and thankfully got matched with a pretty good group.

The group doesn't meet as often anymore, because of work/family commitments, different nursery days, health issues, etc. I see Friend A twice a week, usually, Friend B once or twice, Friend C a couple of times a month... and one of them, Friend D for ease, I see outside of the group as she has health issues that mean groups don't really work for her. She's lovely, and our husbands and toddlers get along really well too, so we tend to go to someone's house and they've stayed over a few times, etc.

I found out I was pregnant with twins a few weeks back. I lost one of them at 7 weeks. I ended up telling Friends A and B, even though it was early, because my toddler kept telling them about me going to hospital a few times, and a really odd dizzy/nauseous spell in the park with them, which worried them! It's been nice to be able to talk to them about it. I explained that I wouldn't be telling anyone else for a while, because I'm worried that I'll lose this one too, and because Friend C has had fertility issues and I want to tell her carefully. I don't want to risk upsetting her if this all goes wrong for me anyway.

Last week, Friend D was briefly around, and Friend B pushed me to tell her. I didn't.

I found out on Friday that Friend D has told Friend A that she knows. Friend A said it was quite awkward as she kept asking if I had any news, and if I'd told her anything interesting, and then eventually just said she knew, Friend B had told her. Friend A was a bit torn about telling me, but figured I should know.

I'll probably see all three of them tomorrow. I feel bad that I didn't tell Friend D, and I'm also concerned that she will mention it to Friend C, possibly to "pre-warn" her. I think it'd have good intentions, but I don't feel it's their news to be sharing.

I know there's a lesson here in not telling anyone anything that you'd like to stay secret... but WIBU to tell Friend B that I know she told Friend D? I imagine that she'll ask if I've told her yet...

I feel under a lot of pressure to tell Friend C now, but my dating scan isn't for another 2.5 weeks, and I really wanted to check everything was still okay before it got any more public.

In all honestly, I couldn't give it all much head space. Friend B has shown you you can't trust her, friend A has your back. But just tell C and have it done with.

You can’t be sure how it came out from friend B, friend D may have twigged that something was going on. If she for example said ‘is she pregnant’ and friend B response was ‘I can’t say’ then it makes it obvious.

Same as first response really, either tell your other friend and be done with it, or don't and don't give it any more thought, other than be careful telling people things that you want to remain a secret 🤷🏻‍♀️

Friend B is an arse

At the point you told more than one person there was a very high chance they would tell someone else.

Yes you may feel it's not their news to be sharing but if you have been ill in public they may feel they're looking out for you.

You can mention it to friend B but if it comes across as a telling off she is likely to be upset (and given your illness in public reasonably so)

I had to tell people at 7 week because I was taken into hospital.

Just tell the other friend (?c). If friend B asks whether you told friend D, say "I didn't but she knows" and leave it at that.

This.
None of her business to push you to tell anyone.

She is not your friend, be very wary.

I think friend A is shit stirring. She didn’t need to say anything.

D may well have guessed.

There's no way D guessed, or that it'd have been obvious enough for her to know. She works four weeks on, four weeks off, and we crossed holidays for two weeks or so before that, so I haven't seen her in two months or so. Not since before I was pregnant.

The park incident sounds dramatic in writing, but was literally just that I felt very sick and dizzy and needed to sit down on a wall for a moment. I can't imagine it'd have been interesting enough for anyone to recount to her... I only told them as my toddler started saying I'd need to go back to hospital, and then they looked a bit worried, so I said. I feel like "ill in public" is an over-the-top way of describing it. Friend B had bad conjunctivitis and came to the park without really being able to see a month or so ago - some illnesses are just par for the course?

But yeah, I guess I can't trust them. I saw B this morning and she was cagey compared to normal but didn't mention C. She did say she'd bumped into A earlier, so there's a chance A has also told her that she's told me, so we all know, if you see what I mean.

I just feel really sad that I've been forced to share early, and also that they aren't as good friends as I thought. I really can't see why it'd be newsworthy. Five of the 8 of us already have second children.

friend B and D convo:

friend D: have you seen any of the others lately?
friend B: yes, went to the park with A and StolenShortcake
D: oh, how is StolenShortcake? It’s been a while since I’ve seen her
B: oh I think she is doing ok now
D: what do you mean, has she been poorly?
B: erm not exactly, she was feeling a bit sick and dizzy that’s all
D: oh really! Not pregnant is she hahaha?!
B: erm…