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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have not stepped in and said something?

27 replies

stressedout1994 · 14/09/2024 18:45

Hi all

I was just on the high street waiting for the bus. A woman had three kids - a little boy who looked around 4, a girl of a similar age, and a little girl in the pram - she looked about 16 months or so.

The little boy was being really aggressive - hitting his sister of the same age, then smacking hard on the baby's legs. The baby laughed, and when the mum went to intervene he went to smack her, hard, in the face and on the arms repeatedly.

The mum just kept going 'stop, she doesn't like it', and 'stop, be nice'. Seemed completely ineffectual. I know that maintaining control of 3 kids is hard, but I think it's terrible to let a little boy hit his siblings, especially a baby.

She looked really stressed and frazzled, and - again - I get that parenting three children must be incredibly hard. But I really wanted to say something. I think all this 'gentle parenting' stuff is no excuse for letting your son learn at an early age that it's fine to whallop people, especially women. It made me feel sad and worried about how that woman's partner must treat her if her son thinks it's OK and normal to try and whack his Mum and hit his sister. That's ultimately why I didn't say anything.

Should I have said something? Or would I have just made a hard day even harder? I am not a mother but I have a wonderful young godson and plenty of small children in my family and I have never seen children behave like this.

OP posts:
Bluedabadeeba · 14/09/2024 19:39

THIS IS IN NO WAY GENTLE PARENTING!

OK. There, I said it. I feel like there needs to be some sort of national info text explaining what gentle parenting actually IS!!! It really grinds my gears.

Anyway, I digress. Probably not a great idea to offer a judgey comment - this was probably a single snapshot of a VERY long day. Such a jump to suggest abuse or the father's temperament - hitting (well, frustration) is a very, very normal developmental phase.

It's OK, before I was a parent, I would have probably quietly judged too. Having children in your life is lovely, but it's not any kind of insight into what it is like to be a parent/SAHP to young children 24/7. Especially 3!! On zero sleep. Or food - poor woman probably hasn't finished a meal in 4 years.

Jc2001 · 14/09/2024 20:15

Catza · 14/09/2024 19:28

Let me get that straight..the boy hit a baby and the baby laughed? Seems like you either massively exaggerating what happened or it didn't happen at all.

Yeah I had to read that back a couple of times. It doesn't make any sense.

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