AIBU

[Dizzylizzy143]

Hey, my nephew (8)got a knife from the kitchen and threatened my son (10) all because he scored a goal. I have said to my DH that I don’t want them seeing each other for a while. He’s gone ballistic because it will upset his mother! What do you think? Should I just suck it up or put my foot down on this. TIA. Its not the first time nephew has threatened him but usually just words

I'd be very, very concerned for your DN, and yes would keep them apart from the foreseeable. What did DNs parents say when you told them?

Not a lot, took the knife off him and told him you shouldn’t run around with knives it’s dangerous.

WTF?!?

I'd be keeping my child well away from any 8 year old who goes to get a knife out the drawer and threatens someone!

8 year olds shouldn't even have the knowledge of threatening someone with a knife, let alone doing it, so it suggests he has been subjected to inappropriate material to learn this!!

Your DH needs threatening with a knife if he thinks this is acceptable!!

So the parents were there when it happened?

What did you say to them?

Why is your DH scared of his mother? As in your MIL?

I would have drop kicked the little shit out of the front door.

I would expect an apology from him and a promise not to do that again. If he did it again then I'd keep my family away from him.

Yeah this was my reaction when it happened! We are going to be at loggerheads over this. He doesn’t want upset his mother who ‘just wants the boys to play together’. It’s not going to work. my son flinched just about every time his cousin moved even before this. They haven’t seen each other for a few weeks, holidays etc but she’s trying to get them together and I don t want that ( neither does my ds)

who's mother will be upset? your MIL or the mother of your nephew? I assume you have had a conversation with the parent of nephew?

when you say got a knife from the kitchen, can you just clarify for us what actually happened? did nephew purposefully walk into the kitchen, pick up a kitchen knife (sharp or otherwise) and then return to where your son was and threaten him with the knife?

or

was nephew in the kitchen, making a snack using a butter knife, and turn round to speak to your son and wave said butter knife about?

they are 2 totally different scenarios..

i know if anyone 'brandished' a knife to any of my children, they would be out on their ear.. returned to parents with strict instructions not to return anytime soon.

hes not scared of her. He doesn’t want to cause more upset apparently.

What did you say to the parents when it happened OP?

MIL will be upset. My nephews mother probably isn’t aware of what happened ( they are separated ) I don’t have any contact with her.

they were at my MIL homes at the time.

they were playing in the garden, came in for a drink next thing my son went into sitting room . Nephew ran to kitchen, came back with a knife ( out of the block ).

@FirstTimeHomeowner asked what DN's parents said when you told them and you replied, Not a lot, took the knife off him and told him you shouldn’t run around with knives it’s dangerous.

So I'm confused.

Were DN's parents there or not?

Pretty shocking. I assume nephew is ND.

Your nephew needs to be in therapy. Threatening people with knives could end very badly. My brother chased me and my cousins with a knife and then an axe on separate occasions when he was much younger than your nephew, fortunately he was younger than us and didn't manage to catch us.

Absolutely outrageous and shocking behaviour. What would have happened if no adult was around? Don't let there be a next time. Who's cares if it causes upset. Your son comes first.

Why would you assume ND instead of say...

Allowed to watch violent movies on TV/the internet?

Witnessed violent behaviour between his parents?

Mixes with older kids/teens who've been exposed to knife culture?

There could be many reasons, so I'm not sure why the ND assumption.

I'd have been out of that house with my son in a flash! Who gives a fuck about upsetting MIL?! Do your DH and MIL just want to wait until the nephew actually carries out his threat? Fuck that.