Is anyone wrong here?

27 replies

autienotnaughty · 14/09/2024 08:37

Going to a bbq today . I have two adult dc (18 and 22) and a younger dc (7)

Asked adult dc to babysit and to take dc to a bday party 45 min away.They agreed. Party is 1-3.

Then dd18 was invited out. She would still be ok to take dc to party but leave after. She checked with her sister who agreed all fine. So dd22 will be solo babysitting from about 4pm.

Dd22 has just asked when we will be back from bbq. I said maybe 7ish (bbq is about 40 min away) she is annoyed as she assumed we would be back at Same time as her (around 4) she has no plans that evening.

I've said obviously if she wants us to leave early we will but if we leave at just after 3 bbq probably won't be served so it feels a bit rude.

She feels tricked as we hadn't said when we would be back when we asked them to babysit. I assumed it would be flexible. I know dd18 wouldn't have cared (she babysits more than her sister)

Is anyone wrong or is it miscommunication?

OP posts:

ktab80 · 15/09/2024 02:32

Ivehearditbothways · 15/09/2024 02:28

That’s just called being a family. Grow up.

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🤦‍♀️

AbraAbraCadabra · 15/09/2024 02:50

ktab80 · 15/09/2024 02:24

No- it isn’t. You chose to have children. Not them. They aren’t responsible for looking after them. The odd hour popping to the shops, cover while your at work because regular plan has fallen through- fine. But expecting a 18 year old to run their siblings to parties and then sit around waiting for you for unspecified amounts of time because you’re too busy with your own social life? Nope, sorry.

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Families help each other out. Doesn’t matter who that is. It’s a very odd and recent idea that suddenly children should never be asked to contribute towards family like or help their parents out. It’s good for them to learn that sometimes you help others out, that you don’t always come first.

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