To think I shouldn't have had to chip in?

[feelingrobbed]

So basically, some dude at work has done long service. Really long time. Decades!

Good for him. Anyway my boss insisted on minimum £2.50 donation for his gift and chased us for it.
She also made us send the money to her bank account.

Am I being unreasonable to think she shouldn't have made us do this and also made it mandatory? Properly pissed off!!!

Most people I know who have retired recently have requested no personal gifts but a donation to a named charity. Sometimes they get significant amounts donated. Long service awards, meals, gifts and extra holiday allowance should come from the company. We gat a celebratory lunch and can expense a gift or have an extra holiday.

Long service awards are not like leaving presents collections, which I genuinely don't mind contributing to. Long service awards should be from the company.

However...I think I can 'raise you' on the cheekiness of your manager here OP 🤣 I work in a school and last year we were all told that there was to be a 'special assembly' for the lollipop lady (who none of us knew...why would we!?!?) We were told to get the children to make cards and write poems etc for this person, and to donate to the gift. We all thought she must be leaving as we were strong armed into giving to the gift.

Day of special assembly arrives and it's very lovely for her...many (not all) of the children knew her as they came to school that way and crossed the road. She's a very nice lady...but wasn't leaving! County reps were giving her a 'long' service award...10 years. Which I guess is not too bad...but many of us teachers work for the same county, and most of us have done over 20 years (several of us 30+ years ) and we haven't received as much as a letter off County for our long service!!

Galled a bit that assembly...if I'm honest.

@AmpleMoose

What sanctimonious BS. First of all 'long service' by itself isn't something worthy of gratitude. Some people are basically unemployable , yet no manager has the balls to fire them.. so they end up staying around, being shuffled from department to department.

Secondly, OP doesn't even know the guy. Why would she respect him? She doesn't even know if he's actually competent at his job, or someone in the above mentioned category.

I do agree with this - and in some workplaces, the long-time employees who have been there 25 years plus, are quite often the most bone idle and entitled ones. (Certainly in most workplaces I know of.) There's someone I know right now whose workplace is having to put up with a bloke in his mid 50s who everyone seems to be afraid of, and he seems to be bulletproof.. Acts like the place wouldn't run without his gracious presence, yet does fuck-all half the time, except sit around pretending to be busy. And he has ALWAYS got some fucking health ailment!

He's been in this particular place for 28 years, and seems to have had one health ailment after another, (for the last 9-10 years.) He's been off sick at least 15% of any given year in the past decade. Several of those 9-10 years he has been off sick for 20% of the time or more. Since about 2016, he's gone to various specialists, and clinics, and hospitals, and doctors and nurses etc, and has been having test after test after test - and he is always and having time off for said tests.

But nothing really concrete ever comes up wrong with him.

He also doesn't do 90% of the physical work in the job either because he's got a 'bad back' or a 'bad shoulder,' or a 'bad neck,' or a 'bad hip' or a 'bad knee.' Honestly, it's just absolutely ridiculous. Yet each manager who comes in (they change 2-3 yearly, and they are all getting more younger than him as they go on,) never has the nerve to face up to him. Everyone panders to him.

He's has a tendency to be snappy and argumentative and acts like he is always right, and like he knows everything, and that the place would fall apart without him. Says 'I've been here 28 years. Since before you were born!' (Like that's some massive fucking achievement!) Everyone is scared to stand up to him and I don't think he does HALF of the work most of the other people do.

So yeah, tl,dr. Someone who has been somewhere 25+ years does not automatically deserve respect, and they are not always the best workers, or the best at the job!

.

The amount they're asking for doesn't matter: No-one should be nagging, bullying, or guilt-tripping the people they work with (or employ, or manage) for contributions to a gift fund. The most they should do is provide information for anyone who wants to contribute.

This…

It is a big deal for some, especially as it could be the start of a slippery slope - next time it could be £5 then £7, etc.

I am not quite in that situation now, but have been recently. I have had to add up coins to get enough to put a bit of petrol in the car, or so my DC can do one of the “donate to wear free clothes to school” days.

Not everyone is in the same financial situation, and I constantly worry I will be back to those stressful times - the anxiety of wondering how much the next “voluntary contribution” will be is very real.

“Howard’s the HANDYMAN…?!

YANBU, OP. There was a time i’d have paid anyway but now i think fuck it tbh!

YABU.

a) it is pretty normal workplace practice to have a whip round when someone retires
b) you were only being asked for £2.50 !!!
c) If you felt that strongly, you simply had to say "I don't feel I know Bob, as I've not long worked here, so I'm not putting into the collection"

Ha, that was my first thought too 😂
I've been in the building for 25 minutes. To me, he's just "Man"😁
Can imagine OP being like that about work man lol

Oh and Ross was in the right, so is OP 😁
They shouldn't be pressuring anyone to give money, not everyone can easily. They should be giving a gift. Not bothering what everyone else is or isn't doing.

It is a choice!! You say no sorry I can't afford £2.50. What can she possibly do to force you?

It's not the amount - I'd happily contribute for a leaving gift. It's that a long service award should come from the company. If a manager wants to give flowers etc in addition, that's up to them.

I think most of us understand the reason she is not happy is because it's some weird kind of company that asks employees^^ to pay for a long service gift.

Seriously weird and tight arse company

I wouldn't be happy either, they shouldn't be forcing you.

I'd like all whip-rounds to be banned tbh. Where I work the company has set occasions they buy gifts for (weddings, babies, leaving), there are no whip-rounds. I know that wouldn't work for public sector though.

On another note, why are a few people being so ridiculously snobby about Greggs (and their coffee and cappuccino?) It's not made of sand and shit you know!

It may not be as good as the proper 'coffee shops' like Costa, Starbucks, Cafe Nero etc, but it's fine. It's the same as McDonalds, Subway, and Morrisons cafe etc. Comes out of a machine automatically, but is perfectly fine. It's for people who want to pay a couple of quid for a coffee or a cappuccino, and not a fiver!

I agree with this. All whip rounds should be banned. My DH, who's been in his workplace for about 16 years now, refused to keep giving to whip rounds about 6 or 7 years ago. He says he doesn't want any part of it.

There's like, 38 to 40 people in his place, (around 34 women and the rest men,) and there seems to be a whip round for something once every other month. A new baby, an engagement, a wedding, a Christening, someone 'not well,' someone whose partner is not well/in hospital, a big wedding anniversary, someone getting married, somebody leaving etc.

Started to get on his nerves. So he said, 'here's the deal. I'm not going to give for any whip rounds and nobody has to do one for me!' In all the years he's been there, (was around 10 or at the time,) nobody had ever done a whip round for any single thing for him Nope. Didn't even do anything on his 40th. OR 50th.

It's 90% women at his place, and they don't tend to do anything for the small handful of men there. DH said 'like fuck am I going to keep giving to all these women! Especially when they ignore me and the other 4 men.' He also opted out the Secret Santa 6 or 7 years ago. He'd done it for a good 9 or 10 years. But then this one year he didn't get anything. So he dropped out of it. Said it was pissing him off anyway

"it's my PRINCIPLES"
-Ross Geller

I'm not sure how she thinks she can force you tbh. Just say no.

What a tight company. Haven’t worked for years but when I did, the company covered a gift, Personnel organised everything. Was entirely up to individuals if they wanted to give something extra.

That said, I wouldn’t argue over it, not worth hassle for £2.50.

It's £2.50, and you were not forced to send her the money. I'm not saying she didn't chase for contributions and made you feel like you had to, but you didn't have to, you could have chosen not to transfer the money. Absolutely nothing would have happened to you. It was not mandatory.

This. At my last place my employer paid for long service gifts (bottle of champagne/flowers/chocolates usually).

If it bothered me I just wouldn’t do it. Wouldn’t get round to it. She can’t ask you forever. Or if she keeps bringing it up:

”O, is that compulsory?”
“Sorry, I don’t really know Gordon.”
”I need to get a new one of those card reader things.” Etc. she can’t ask you forever.

There was.

No I'm ok thanks, I've only been here 3 months, don't know him.

No I'm ok thanks, I don't want to contribute to a gift for someone I've known for 3 months.

No i'm ok thanks, I'll pass.

No is a complete sentence.
You were mugged.

and

What a tight company. Haven’t worked for years but when I did, the company covered a gift, Personnel organised everything.

This is normal life in the public sector.
There is no funding to be giving presents to staff for whatever reason.
I mean, that is ever, not just since austerity. Tax payers generally don't want their taxes to pay for a present for Bob from accounts because he has come in and done his job for 30 years.