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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To name my baby the name I want to

7 replies

Mamarnd2 · 13/09/2024 19:22

When I was pregnant with my DS, my sil was also pregnant and further along. She didn’t find out what she was having as in a girl or a boy but we went private at 16 weeks and found out i was having a boy. We named him as soon as we knew he was a boy. When we announced the name she was upset because it was one of the names she was considering. I didn’t know this at the time and she had a list of 10 names including our name, we had 1 name that we had picked and had picked from before I even got pregnant so I felt she was being unreasonable.

Before this there was also an issue with a name (a girls name) again she didn’t know what she was having but came in and announced after her 20 week scan (while I was miscarrying my first pregnancy) that they’ve the name picked if it’s a girl which is literally the only girls name I’ve ever liked. Have messages to my husband, (then boyfriend) to prove it so I loved the name long before I ever heard her say it. She had a boy anyway so it was null and void.

problem is….i am now pregnant with a girl. Would I be unreasonable to use the name I love when I know she would probably call her daughter it if she has anymore babies?

OP posts:
LittleBitAlexisLaLaLaLaLa · 13/09/2024 19:25

Go for it. The name doesn’t belong to anyone. She might have changed her mind about it by now anyway.

thaisweetchill · 13/09/2024 19:26

Why would you not name the child you want to on the chance she could never name her child that? Just do what you want.

SweatySpaghetti · 13/09/2024 19:27

Yanbu to use the name, but I did vote YABU, because at the end of the day it’s just a name and I think it sounds all a bit drama filled/high-stakes etc (and that’s not a criticism as I completely understand how difficult it is to have a miscarriage)
no one owns a name and you don’t have more right to use it than anyone else (even if it’s the only name you like and they have 1000 they like)
anyone can choose and use whatever they like.

LoftyPeachSnake · 13/09/2024 19:27

I honestly think people are insane when they gripe about someone 'stealing' their baby name. Several of my cousins have similar or even the same first names, and this was seen as cute and nice, rather than this weird possessiveness over a name. I'm not from the UK though.

Name your baby what you want! No one owns a name.

Getitwright · 13/09/2024 19:28

Why don’t you use the name you like, but add another, either before or after. Chances are it won’t be same as your SIL. I have two first names, but most folks call me by my middle name, OH by a nickname, one or two have used my first name. Just check what the initials of the full name are though as well…..😁

Mamarnd2 · 13/09/2024 19:28

SweatySpaghetti · 13/09/2024 19:27

Yanbu to use the name, but I did vote YABU, because at the end of the day it’s just a name and I think it sounds all a bit drama filled/high-stakes etc (and that’s not a criticism as I completely understand how difficult it is to have a miscarriage)
no one owns a name and you don’t have more right to use it than anyone else (even if it’s the only name you like and they have 1000 they like)
anyone can choose and use whatever they like.

It’s just because it’s the only girls name I like. I wouldn’t be pissed off if she had a girl first and used it and I agree that no one owns a name. It’s just because of her reaction to when we named DS.

OP posts:
Mamarnd2 · 13/09/2024 19:32

Getitwright · 13/09/2024 19:28

Why don’t you use the name you like, but add another, either before or after. Chances are it won’t be same as your SIL. I have two first names, but most folks call me by my middle name, OH by a nickname, one or two have used my first name. Just check what the initials of the full name are though as well…..😁

It’s too unique tbh but thanks for the advice x

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