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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How would you feel

24 replies

Lolly92 · 13/09/2024 19:18

If a female colleague kept calling you ‘beaut’. New job in an office and she was mentoring me last week.

OP posts:
ChocolateMagnum · 13/09/2024 19:19

I would assume that was normal for the culture she grew up in.

Arlanymor · 13/09/2024 19:19

Fine. I worked with someone who used to call me pet because it was just usual vernacular for them where they came from in Newcastle. I would assume the same for you, that it’s something she says to most people.

Bouncynuggets · 13/09/2024 19:19

I hate all pet names hun, honey, lovely etc

I'm gonna guess this woman is circa 40 and on the happy pills.

Enoughwiththisshit · 13/09/2024 19:20

Is she Australian?

MartinCrieffsLemon · 13/09/2024 19:21

I would assume nothing
It's a fairly common "pet name" like
"Cheers hun/babe/sweet"

Mind you, this is MN so you'll get people frothing over how dare they use anything but your name and these informal names are too personal and even their husband isn't allowed to use them

PorridgeIsNotSlimmingTheWayIMakeIt · 13/09/2024 19:22

I'd assume she's Australian?

I don't care if someone calls me Duck, Love, Darlin, whatever, as long as they're nice.

If she's a patronising cow, that's the problem, not her choice of word.

SaffronsMadAboutMe · 13/09/2024 19:23

I wouldn't feel anything.

What do you feel?

MaggieBsBoat · 13/09/2024 19:26

It’s just a pet name, a turn of phrase. If you want to get worked up about it do so, but honestly, there’re really more important things for all of us to worry about, especially if it’s coming from a woman.

Gemmy96 · 13/09/2024 19:27

I wouldn't feel anything about it

Bouncynuggets · 13/09/2024 19:29

What if she was calling a guy it, or a guy was calling a woman it?

It would almost certainly go against any equality/diversity rules if the company has any.

thursdaymurderclub · 13/09/2024 19:29

in the real world.. i wouldn't bat an eyelid! like pet, or duckie, or love or whatever other pet names are out there.

ofcourse here in the MN world.. its sexist.. ageist... heightiest or whatever ist it is and that you are ofcourse well within your rights to be offended and what you need to do immediately is report said colleague too HR and have them dismissed immediately!!

to add... i tend to call everyone 'lovely'

ichundich · 13/09/2024 19:31

Is it a new slang term among young people? I had someone call me that on Vinted recently. I cancelled the order obviously 😅.

Ablondiebutagoody · 13/09/2024 19:45

I quite like it when people show a bit of personality and regional identity. My favourite is "duck". Used to like "cocker" too but you don't here that so much now 🤷🏻‍♂️.

Ablondiebutagoody · 13/09/2024 19:46

*hear

MartinCrieffsLemon · 13/09/2024 20:01

Bouncynuggets · 13/09/2024 19:29

What if she was calling a guy it, or a guy was calling a woman it?

It would almost certainly go against any equality/diversity rules if the company has any.

Only if they were saying it in such a way that was:

  • intended to cause offence or was flirteous and causing uncomfortableness
  • was clearly only directed at one colleague, whereas people who use such terms will use them towards everyone as they are used without thinking
Lolly92 · 13/09/2024 20:34

Ok thank you. Lots of people in the office but only was said to me over the last week or so but only heard said to me so far. Not Australian

OP posts:
Melodysmum12 · 13/09/2024 20:36

I’d find it weird as it’s not a term I hear used often! However it’s complimentary! Are you particularly attractive?!

DrummingMousWife · 13/09/2024 20:37

She is trying to be sweet, ignore it. It’s nothing to worry about.

makingmakingbaconpancakes · 13/09/2024 20:37

Welsh? Quite common where I'm from in South Wales, I use it quite a lot

Maria1979 · 13/09/2024 20:39

I would say "pardon" and ask her to explain what it means. Never heard that before..

PonyPatter44 · 13/09/2024 20:40

I would assume she was from South Wales (neath -port talbot or up the swansea valley)! Lots of my exH's family use "beaut" as a term of endearment.

I am now old enough to use "lovey" as a regular ToE, which makes me very happy. I work with a fast-moving population of individuals whose names I either don't know or can't remember 🙃. It works for me and noone has punched me in the face yet, so I'm classing it as a win.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 13/09/2024 20:53

AHH, we have the sane ,reasonable response thread, where people live in the real world it doesn't happen often.
I'm a person of colour who grew up in the 70's - there are way worse things to call people than love, duck, hen etc.

Dunnoburt · 13/09/2024 20:55

I couldn't get worked up over it......I would assume it as a term of endearment....

Droppit · 13/09/2024 21:03

I think if I didn't like the person who kept calling me it, it would annoy me.

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