To ask for your help unwinding?

[Coldhandswarmhearts]

Good evening all, shamelessly posting for traffic because I could really do with some help! I’m going on holiday this weekend but things aren’t good with me at the minute. My marriage is in the doldrums, my mental health is teetering on the edge and I’m perimenopausal with severe insomnia and haven’t slept more than two hours in days and days. Not eating but severely bloated. Added to this I’m drinking too much to try to relax/forget. I need to try to get the most out of this holiday but I’m dreading it as I just don’t have the energy or the desire. My head is going around and around in circles and I can’t stop the thoughts coming. I’m on medication for years and previously spent time in hospital. Started HRT one month ago, period due. How can I relax/unwind? How do I calm down? Do you have any recommendations for podcasts I could listen to while I’m away to help stop my mind being overactive? Thank you so much xx

I'd go with a good audiobook and a snoozeband. The problem with podcasts is they're often about real life which is depressing..go for some escapism like a good romance or murder mystery.

sorry to hear things are a bit shit OP, hope you feel better soon x

for me walking and yoga are always a guaranteed way to make me feel better, any way of moving your body is good but they’re my favourites

podcast wise
how to fail, great for in-depth conversations
parenting hell, always makes me laugh
shagged married annoyed, ^
help I sexted my boss, ^
red handed, true crime so maybe a bit dark
changes, Annie Mac is a great interviewer

hope you manage to have a lovely time away and reset somewhat

Probably not what you fancy doing most when you're getting so little sleep, but exercise - swimming, yoga, walking.

Read some really, really absorbing and page turning books. I recommend ‘My Dark Vanessa’, ‘The Interestings’ by Meg Wolitzer, or ‘Fleishman is in Trouble’ by Taffy Brodesser-Anker. Books that will grip you and take you out of yourself and remind you how much can be experienced within the spectrum of human life. Hope you feel better soon ❤️

Ok so it's Friday evening and you are going on holiday tomorrow for the weekend? First things first...have you packed?

What time do you leave in the morning? While you are at home, using your home WiFi download shows like to watch on Netflix, Amazon and iPlayer. Also download podcasts that you enjoy. By downloading them they are easily accessible even when you are abroad. If you are scared of flying you can watch your downloads when on inflight mode or in areas with no WiFi. If you have got audible, download books to listen to.

Thank you all so much for taking the time and effort to reply - I really appreciate it! No, no packing done yet…. I’ll get there xxx

I recommend:
A good multivitamin
Magnesium
Meditation app eg Headspace
Tai Chi
Stop drinking
No caffeine
Porridge and banana

Eurgh, that sounds horrible for you.

I don't drink alcohol these days (I found it exacerbated any mental health symptoms I was experiencing such as anxiety and insecurity etc ) but I do like CBD drinks (trip, medahuman, good rays) they sell them in Asda amongst other places. Just make you feel a tiny bit more chilled.

Also allowing yourself to sit and do nothing when overwhelmed- it's ok to take yourself to bed for an hour or sit and watch trash on TV. It doesn't all have to be yoga/pilates and running.

Can't beat a hot bath and a book either.

The podcast: Self Care for extremely busy women and everybody else (Suzanne falter)

Concentrate on small steps to get yourself out that door tomorrow. Pack your case, zip it up and in your hand bag have water, phone, air pods. I personally take paracetamol and Kalms. While you are away, in the afternoon have a lie down in the afternoon and have a sleep, even if you are only asleep for 20 minutes just go with the flow, you will wake when you wake, might be 20 minutes might be an hour.

I find Paul McKenna's hypnosis mp3s that come with his books very relaxing.

I've also started taking maca powder for the following benefits:

• Stress
• Maca is considered an adaptogen, which is a substance that may help the body adapt and cope with stress.
• Mood
• Maca's apoptogenic qualities may be helpful for depression and anxiety.
• Hormone balance
• Maca may help balance hormone levels by increasing or decreasing the body's production of individual hormones.

Rescue Remedy Night
Flower Essences to help switch off repetitive thoughts and to aid a restful night's sleep.

Rescue Remedy
5 original flower essences to provide support in times of emotional demand

If I'm awake at night I listen to calming or fairly dull podcasts, for me it's more about the energy of the podcast rather than the topic:
Nothing Much Happens (sleep stories for adults designed specifically to put you to sleep)
Village of Nothing Much (same creator as above)
A Cozy Christmas Podcast (calming host and relaxing)
Becoming a Personal Trainer (not a topic I am interested in but two male friends chatting about loads of things including PT the occupy my mind and stop me thinking)
Rich Roll (long podcasts, guests can be interesting)

Hoping things improve for you. I'm also having a tough time with the mental aspects of peri.

Try to reduce alcohol as much as possible; it really does wreak havoc on your physical and mental health, especially in menopause.

Meditation morning and evening; just for 5 or 10 mins.

Belly breathing helps to immediately bring calm and respite. You can download free apps or YouTube videos and use with earbuds.

Long term, think about eating foods that nourish you. Multi vitamins. Magnesium for better sleep.

Absorb yourself in a book or podcast to try and stop the bad thoughts.

Essential oils like bergamot, petitgrain, lavender, marjoram, ylang-ylang, cedarwood, frankincense- these all have stress relieving properties. Just drop a couple of drops of chosen oils on a tissue and sniff when feeling overwhelmed.

Hope you can enjoy your holiday.

Sympathies OP, my life is a bit stressful atm. Also peri with huge work stresses. I listen to this, after listening to the first book/meditation for a couple of years.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Deeper-Mindfulness-Rediscover-Chaotic-World-ebook/dp/B0BRV3W8KB

I also do a meditation session on ifit before bed.

No social media, I don't use Facebook, WhatsApp or any other chattery things. This means that my msgs with people who really matter to me, honestly, cutting down on 'noise' from groups or mere acquaintances made a big difference.

I don't drink much but I do have a glass of wine if I fancy one, two bottles a month max.

I don't do enough exercise, I try to walk places if I can, but that and a bit of yoga is all I do.

I agree, trashy TV - gogglebox, audible and not too in depth novels are pure escapism. I've also started putting the radio on which I stopped doing years ago, something cheesy like Smooth FM playing throughout the house if I am home alone helps to stop my mind whirring.

I would suggest that you watch You’ve got mail on the plane. I’m frankly obsessed and I adore it. It’s like mental doodling.

Then when you arrive at your destination book a massage or 2 in your hotel. Take a great book, something cheerful, I like Nina Stibbe. Download some feel good music onto your phone, and enjoy the anonymity of being on holiday. Sometimes a change of scenery can help you be more adventurous, maybe going for a coffee or dinner alone, even if it’s just in your hotel.

I’m sorry you’re struggling, maybe your holiday could be a good time to reconnect with your partner too or give you to headspace to think of a different future.
I hope you enjoy your holiday. It sounds like you need it.

Genuinely thank you all for your time and your thoughts. I’m taking it all on board and will refer to this thread often. My thoughts and empathies go out to all of you struggling ❤️

Ok three things:

• Stop alcohol completely, it's a depressant
• Go for a run first thing in the morning, even just for 10mn
• Come back home and take a COLD shower

You will notice an instant and vast improvement in your mood.

Good luck!

Get out for a walk every day, even if it's just for 15 mins

Magnesium salt baths

Bin the booze, sorry! Get some nice soft drinks in to help you musically

• initially!

This was me a while ago OP, I was in such a state with the anxiety from it all. My tips:

Zero booze, cut it out completely. You won’t believe the difference
A good sleep routine - leave all electronics well away from the bed, take magnesium, I have a sleep playlist (ready made on Spotify)
Read! Read plenty of books, become absorbed in them. Reading is very active so switches the busy brain off.
Exercise, even a good walk for 30 mins, every day

Good luck OP!

I’ve taken to watch the Simon Reeves documentary on iplayer when I can’t sleep. Nothing really happens and there is no beggining or end so you can stop them at any time.

It sound like you need to take baby steps to improving your health. I find having two early nights a week essential.

Eat some things really carby and power pack this evening for your holiday.

Carbs also help you sleep.

When I'm overwhelmed I just go right back to basics and set myself up for 2-3 good nights sleep as a reset. In between that just eat well, get a little exercise and do enough to stop your brain getting bored - but mainly prioritise sleep. In 2-3 days you will feel much better.

Hot cocoa is great as it contains magnesium and is very calming . I tend to use cacao powder as it has no sugar.

I tend to drown out overthinking with music - not music with words but classical, or 8D Audio which is bilateral beats through headphones.

The body is great at healing you just have to create the conditions for it.

100% agree about drowning out noise - I deleted all WhatsApp chats that aren't essential. You can download the threads and email them to yourself if you want to keep them for posterity.

I've also noticed my tendency to leap towards things I think will fix problems - it doesn't work like that for me, I really just have to focus on one thing at a time.

Binge watch Absolutely Fabulous.

OP you mention you are on medication. I would check the side effects of the medication you are on. When I was on fluroxetine I had bad insomnia. I came off it because sleep made more of a difference to my mental state than the medication did because of the negative effects of insomnia. If you need the medication and it is causing insomnia perhaps there is a different option that doesn't have the same side effects.

The Countryside Hour podcast is the most comforting uplifting thing to listen to if you are trying to sleep with an overactive mind

Lavender room spray, try and get one made from essential oils

chamomile tea

100% rda magnesium pills before bed (complete miracle worker for my insomnia)

vit d and b12 complex pill in the morning

cut out all coffee and keep it to 1 glass red wine with dinner for alcohol

forgive yourself for whatever it is that is worrying you and you are blaming yourself for. You are a human, you are not meant to be perfect and tomorrow is a new day.