Am I expecting too much?

[fedupan]

I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant with our second child. First child is 20 months old. Last 2 days I've been feeling horrendously unwell and have needed to spend most of the day in bed.
My DH works evenings/nights so usually has a sleep in on a morning and I get up with our first DC. The last few days I've needed DH to get up with them as I physically can't look after them solo with how I'm feeling.
For the last 2 days while I've been ill I feel like DH has done the absolute bare minimum with parenting.
Letting DC drink milk that's been sitting out for hours, letting DC sit and watch cartoons all day instead of playing with him ( this seems to be a regular thing that my DH does when left to look after our little one solo) he never just reads books or plays with our little one unless I ask him to. He's also been forgetting to brush our child's teeth the last few days and the housework has not been touched either.
I spent half of the afternoon cleaning the house because I couldn't stand it, leftover food on the counter making the kitchen smell, toys covered in spilt milk etc.
my DH could tell I was annoyed earlier when I was cleaning but AIBU to expect more?

Gently OP if he’s just come off a night shift I assume he’s only getting a couple of hours sleep before having to get up with them, he is knackered, I wouldn’t have the energy to be actively playing all day or doing all the housework either and as a short term thing that gives you break I wouldn’t kick up a fuss about this.

Night shift is notoriously crap. BUT that doesn't excuse hom from participating in parenting of his child, or any personal or household tasks.

As you are ill and he's left doing all the child wrangling I'd give him a bit of a pass for now (so long as everyone is fed and safe etc)... however on an ongoing basis I would not put up with everything falling to you. He's going to need to learn to parent the 20 month old before the new one arrives. He's also going to need to learn how to clear the kitchen counters etc.

Understandably if he's just worked a night shift he's probably struggling to stay awake.

Christ you're lovely aren't you? He worked all night and is probably exhausted/ working again tonight? But because you're pregnant he should get up and wait on you hand and foot?

The poor bloke should be in bed

It’s hard when you’re knackered. The general advice to parents when suffering from sleep deprivation (well this advice was given to us when we first had a newborn and got no sleep), was to do what you can to get through. You’re both knackered, things will slip a bit, nothing sounds that bad at the moment.

When you have two including a newborn with no sleep would you be impressed if your husband came home to a knackered you who has had no sleep and complained about housework and a bit of tv time? I think you need to cut each other some slack.

He's working nights ....I'd be too knackered to play too...and yes I stick my kids infront of the tv when I need a break or I'm knackered too

If he's just come off a night shift then yes you are being very unreasonable to be annoyed.
It's reasonable to ask for him to get up with them whilst you are ill.. but if he's had very little sleep I don't think you can expect his parenting to be ideal. And I definitely wouldn't expect him to have been cleaning.
He's got up with them so you can get a bit of sleep because you're ill. He's not going to be able to do all the things you were doing because he hasn't had a full 8 hours sleep.
I know it must be hard with two kids so young and being ill right now..
But as a night worker myself it does grind my gears when people act like you are being lazy when you've had very little sleep. We all need at least 8 hours sleep. If he's not had that then he won't be able to function very well, that's basic human biology not just him being lazy.

Has he just worked a night shift? What time did he get to bed?

When I work a night shift I don't finish until 8am so would have had no sleep.