My DH who is officially the ?worlds most wonderful husband? TM (he has a badge, and everything?) was quite the prize shit to most of his legions of previous ex-GF?s. He treated them appallingly, including telling one ex-GF (who he had been going out withfor 2 years at the time, they practically lived together) when she finally plucked up the courage to ask him if he loved her, he replied that he was not in love with her and never had been, but not to worry, he liked her a lot! Followed by a sanctimonious speech on how he felt that saying he loved someone was special and he could only say that to someone when he truly meant it. Girl was heartbroken. He dumped his most recent ex by removing all her belongings from his flat and handing the bewildered girl a bin bag full of her stuff at the end of their final date (he slept with her first, of course). He gave not two, but three-timing a try at one point too, only stopping due to a pregnancy scare and a desire to free up more time to go to the pub with his mates. Not a good bet for future husband material on paper, I think we can agree and if you read further you will understand that he was also, erm, challenged in the love god stakes, so not even a decent consolation shag.
He had the great fortune to meet and marry me, proposing 3 weeks after we met (what took him so long?) and since then my intensive husband training programme began 15 years ago, he has been perfect. He worships the ground I walk on, has nothing but respect for me and will do whatever he can to make me feel loved and cherished (e.g.I have 2 Roomba?s, just because?). He does not frequent the local hostelries, does not consort with loose women (or tight ones for that matter), he doesn?t gamble, stay out all night and gives me full and unfettered access to all his cash.
My female friends and relations are all a little bit in love with him, especially my 90 year old Grandmother who has never a good word for any of her many childrens/grandchildrens spouses. He is extremely fit, charming, intelligent, good looking and has an enormous erm, appendage in the crucial zone and once basic training was over and the chafing had healed, has improved beyond belief in the art of knowing what to do with it. (FYI gents, grinding your penis repetitively in the missionary for hours on end with no foreplay or thought for the pleasure of your partner is not a recipe for female ecstasy, no matter what the porn channel says. Really.). For this alone, I have no reason to feel anything but wincing pity for his exes, he was THAT bad. Crucially, he doesn?t say no to me often, but when he does, I respect his viewpoint and secretly feel thrilled that he can put me in my place when needs must. Yum, I love (an occasionally) masterful man, so, so sexy.
However, I maintain that because he is shackled to someone, who in the politest way possible, stands for no nonsense (i.e. I am extremely high maintenance, demanding, confident and chippy), he is able to love and respect me. Because I am so secure and loved in our relationship, I am inclined to want to make him happy, which I do by never nagging or indulging in passive-aggressive mind games, which I know he appreciates. He is free to leave the premises whenever he wishes, and can come home when he?s done to a smiling, happy wife. As a result he maintains he much prefers being at home with me. And he does, whenever we can shake off his admirers.
My question is this. AIBU in claiming credit for this wonderful specimen or is it all down to his mother (as she would fondly believe, not knowing about his previous relationship behaviours)? And if so, should I publish my husband training manual? Have you trained your husband from a street hound to a Crufts Champion? Was love alone the answer?, If he had he fallen in love with someone other than you, would he be the same excellent husband he is today? Ladies, I await your thoughts. Good Husbands - Nature or Nurture?.