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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does your job stress you out?

63 replies

HesGotHisTrombolyse · 13/09/2024 17:01

If you work full time because you need the money (not because you want to for whatever reason besides needing to bring home the money), does your job stress you out? I'm also going to say not because you worry about losing it (again, for whatever reason). But because you have harsh (and hard) deadlines, because your clients (if you work in a b2b environment) are demanding but you can't just say 'stuff it' to them, because you have so much on and it simply must get done, and just generally the pressure you have on.

I know there will be people saying you don't have to do so much but in some jobs, especially senior management and/or corporate, it comes with the territory. Same with working beyond your contracted hours - it's expected. And no, we are not suckers for doing that - we have our reasons.

But - once all is said and done. Does your job stress you out? Do you think about it when you're not working? Mine stresses me out most of the time (I run my own company) but overall I enjoy it. So I'm using AIBU as a poll:

AIBU: my job does NOT stress me out on a regular basis (i.e. more than half the time)
AINBU: my job DOES stress me out on a regular basis.

OP posts:
FourEyesGood · 13/09/2024 17:03

Definitely. For ‘clients’ read ‘students and SLT’.

AGirlInACountrySong · 13/09/2024 17:16

In my job read 'prisoners' for clients

But no it doesn't stress me out
But yes, I do think about it at times on days off

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 13/09/2024 17:18

Yes, it does. I'm a teacher, like a previous poster. I'm very, very lucky to work in a lovely school with very minimal behaviour issues and with lovely colleagues (including almost all of SLT). What stresses me out is the workload and the fact that it's basically impossible to do everything you're supposed to do.

Rainbowcroissant · 13/09/2024 17:19

My day job is kids. They're very hard work and very stressful being so young.
My evening/night job is in hospitality. That's also stressful. However some people make it worthwhile.
Cannot wait for my spa day in a couple of weeks!

DramaAlpaca · 13/09/2024 17:28

I work in higher education administration. It's busy and can be intense, certainly at this time of the year, but it's never bad stress and I don't lose sleep over it. I really like the department and the students.

Previously I worked in a successful small business. It was horrendously busy and super stressful, with impossible deadlines because it was under-resourced and understaffed. It became very bad stress indeed and I left at Christmas for the sake of my mental health.

FlutteryButterfly · 13/09/2024 17:34

Mine can be extremely stress inducing or stress free depending on the behaviour and needs of others. The safety of the people around me is also my responsibility and I work in a potentially dangerous environment.

Gcn · 13/09/2024 17:37

I've been in tears over work for past 2 days. For "clients" read staff.

BBBusterkeys · 13/09/2024 22:51

Yes. I’m an IT Project Manager. My job stresses me out. I wake up at night thinking and stressing about it and can’t get back to sleep. I delivered a major project earlier this year. In the lead up to it, I cried on two separate occasions on front of my manager and a senior manager. There were also days where I cried in front of my husband. Not good.

i don’t know if it’s just me and I’m really not cut out for this work (been doing it 10+ years) or if it’s the company or the project. I’m under less pressure now but still don’t really enjoy it.

I’m the breadwinner in my family so need to keep the high paying job.

I also know that I always take my work too serious and end up not enjoying my work, so don’t see much benefit in taking a lower stress job even if we could afford it. I would still end up unhappy at work but get less pay for my trouble. So I keep going!

ridl14 · 13/09/2024 23:13

Teacher as well. There can be lots of lovely moments, but the overall picture is lots of adrenaline, deadlines, burnout to the point of causing health issues. I changed careers so have worked in private companies and charities, as well as working in a pub and at a language school as a student so think I have a relatively broad scope to compare it to (within reason).

Currently pregnant and doing my best to manage stress, my school is being supportive which I appreciate a lot and it not being my first year in my current school makes a huge difference.

It's unbelievable how much pressure of Ofsted permeates basically every aspect of school life, plus parents are much more challenging in my current school. Less behaviour issues but the ones I do get are exhausting and there's less internal support. There are lots of positives as well though. I do plan to leave teaching at some point but will see how I go after mat leave.

Also I think most people's jobs cause them some type of stress, the people I know who don't have this are definitely in the minority. There are plenty of jobs I'd choose teaching over too.

randomchap · 13/09/2024 23:14

All the time

I work in the NHS although not directly with patients but the work I do does affect patient care. If I fuck up there can be serious issues

Then there's being the sole earner, I'm entirely responsible for my family income. As a widower, I've got no-one else to rely upon

HesGotHisTrombolyse · 14/09/2024 06:33

I feel better knowing being stressed over work is 'normal'. Or at least more so than I thought.

OP posts:
Mummadeze · 14/09/2024 07:01

Recently, yes. I am dreaming about it and losing sleep. Am also fantasising about leaving. All down to management change. I used to like it.

Goldenmemories · 14/09/2024 07:06

I'm also a teacher. I love it but find aspects of it stressful. Time pressure, overwhelm when so many tasks need completing and others crop up throughout the day. Emotional stress when I know children I work with aren't safe at home. Managing other adults with limited time and resources. Long working hours. Constant minor illness as I work with super spreaders. Some parents can be difficult

PrivateSchoolTeacherParent · 14/09/2024 07:06

Also a teacher. Constantly stressed. Counting the days until I can retire.

AceofPentacles · 14/09/2024 07:12

Yes it gives me insomnia
Yesterday two hours after I should have finished I was talking a teenager down from jumping under a train and trying to convince another to hand themselves into the police instead of running away
The stress is that there's no one to discuss these things with and if anything happens to my work kids it's my responsibility as the risk holder.

So yes. It's stressful

NewUser1111 · 14/09/2024 07:13

Don’t think I’ve ever had a job that didn’t stress me out but then I’m a worrier. I work in a sector where tbh the stakes aren’t even that high. Not sure how I would cope if they were

RhubarbandCustardYummyYummy · 14/09/2024 07:18

Patient facing, lots of responsibility. VERY STRESSFUL. And lots of abuse which doesn’t help.

noodlecanoodle · 14/09/2024 07:23

Yes - public sector job. I am the only one in the entire country who is responsible for my work area. I am held legally accountable for what I do, and spend days in court - defending decisions I've made.

I also regularly get a personal hammering on FB/social media - which is hard for my family. I have been physically attacked whilst carrying out my duties, and had people arrive at my home.

I am good at my job, however wjth no staff and no money.. people get hurt, things get damaged. I fight fire and spend a lot of my money on holidays and Botox.

I hate it, but I do manage my own work diary and WFH soo.. and I'm also well paid for the trouble.

33 years to retirement.

SinnerBoy · 14/09/2024 07:26

Mostly no, although I have tight deadlines, Occasionally, it can get stressful; I'm freelance and the odd colleague can get anally retentive about deadlines which will be missed, but which can be explained to and understood by a client. I'm in marine survey and sometimes, the data takes longer to process, because of what we find on the seabed; it's data which can be presented visually and the clients understand that mapping will necessarily take longer, or go on hold, as we progress to a new area.

Jamfirstest · 14/09/2024 07:32

Yes immensely I've had 3 burin outs.l

Greytulips · 14/09/2024 07:38

I think you all sound like you have too much on your plates and need more workers.

I do find where I work there is a mass walk out at 5 - how do they all do that exactly?

I need to finish what I’m doing and if it’s 10 minuets I don’t mind finishing.

Others seem to be there hours after work and some of their task need sharing out.

Even teachers could do with an assistant pool who sort resources, trips, equipment, etc when did it all fall to the teacher?

CEARTA · 14/09/2024 07:38

My job is stressful because it is extremely demanding in terms of hours, deadlines, extremely vulnerable and often challenging ‘clients’ (service users) and the constant physical and emotional energy/stamina/resilience required to keep going.

The stress comes from exhaustion, really.
I’ve worked way over my hours for weeks now due to staff shortages and our service being overwhelmed. I’ve got a bad cold and heavy period this week, and have been at work with a high temperature and at times feeling almost delirious, unable to take a lunch break and dealing with some extremely challenging situations. But I’m a senior manager with a shitload of operational as well as strategic responsibility, and if I go off sick my staff will be fucked and our service users will suffer. So I keep going. For now!

I don’t tend to worry about work once I leave, though. I’m too knackered! And the evenings feel so short, before I have to get up and go and do it all over again.

Weirdoy, I mostly love my job. But there are periods where I suffer for it.

knightsinwhitesatin · 14/09/2024 07:39

Engineer, can be very stressful. Serious implications if wrong.

Aconite20 · 14/09/2024 07:42

The job itself doesn't stress me out but the ludicrous office politics and micromanagement do, alongside the (mostly) woefully incompetent and in some cases drastically overpromoted senior managers.

Woahtherehoney · 14/09/2024 07:51

Yes quite often! I LOVE my job, I love that what I do genuinely makes a difference which considering the industry I work in can be hard to do. But I work in marketing so lots of deadlines, lots of stakeholders to placate who all have different opinions, constantly moving goalposts. It can be really hard to balance.

But marketing gives me a chance to flex so many skills - time management, creativity, stakeholder management, planning and organisation. I love it.

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