Social media bores

[mrstiggywinkle23]

I work with a lady who is quite pleasant (on the surface) in real life. But such a bore on social media. Everything from her latest designer handbag to her expensive holidays to her new car are posted on every platform usually with a status about how she is 'smashing life' and 'hard work gets you everywhere' and 'started from the bottom now I'm here'. You get the idea.

Because I have to see her at work pretty much daily I haven't unfriended her but I have unfollowed her so I don't have to see it. I noticed the other day she'd posted something on her story (haven't figured out how to block stories on instagram yet) along the lines of people not liking her posts and being jealous so she clearly takes great notice of who is liking it. Why are people like this? Why are they so fixated on not only bragging about things but also having the adoration from other people too?

Yep I wonder this too. I know two perfectly intelligent lovely witty women in RL who turn into absolute narcissist unlikeable dicks on SM - the need for external validation is so desperate. And unnecessary.

The only social media I have now is an out of date FB account and MN. The rest is unbearable. I have a happier life without the unpleasant look at me me me (me!!) social media.

I have a cousin like this and unless she's externally validated on SM then I actually think she doesn't think she exists. She just looks so needy and desperate for attention and I'm very worried for her mental health. I've broached dialling it back with her but she doesn't understand boundaries. It's even creeping into LI so her work contacts and colleagues must be 🤔 at her inner rumblings.

Self-confidence issues, I would say. I am always weary of people who immediately jump to jealousy as an explanation for any breakdown in communications. Tells me everything I need to know about them, really. And as a result of that, I don't give two rats if someone tracking how many of their posts I liked. It's their problem, not mine.
But yes, it's tedious and I feel sorry for people who feel so sucked into maintaining curated version of their lives on SM that they fail to notice how it impacts their relationships in real life.

Because if its not splattered all over SM ... it doesn't exist/never happened.
Some people just seem to need validation all the time.
Pity them.

It’s a mask to hide what isn’t going well. But it’s also some of the tackiest and attention seeking behaviour there is - kind of like checking into the hospital and then saying “I’d rather not talk about it.”

The whole thing is more embarrassing for her than anything else, Google how to mute the stories and continue not to like anything.

It's more the insinuation that anyone who isn't fawning over her is somehow jealous that annoys me. She obviously spends time scrutinising who has liked her posts which is pretty tragic but I don't like the idea that if you're not engaging you must be bitter or not as successful/happy/wealthy as her.

I agree it's possibly low confidence but I also think some people just love to brag and tell the world how great they're doing.

No one who is content with life and secure in themselves needs the continuous validation of others.

The insinuation that other people are jealous is pure projection.

Rise above it, smile, remain civil and ignore the SM nonsense.

Johann Hari talks in his book Lost Connections about misplaced values. We’re led to believe that materialism and status symbols will make us happy but actually people with materialist values are more likely to be depressed and anxious. In comparison to people who value things like healthy relationships and making the world a better place. In other words she’s victim to a common trap in our society. She’s being really obvious about it but lots of others have the same issue they just aren’t doing it via social media.

I know a couple like this. Post absolutely everything to show what a wonderful expensive life they have. They had use of a camper van recently. It did look like a very flash one. I know that because they uploaded photos of every part of it including the toilet. Why?
Stupid thing is, it know at least one part of the couple is broke and frequently borrowing cash (we’re not talking a couple of hundred quid) from someone close to me. I’ve often wondered if they other half of the couple knows how skint their partner is, or if they’re keeping up this awful pretence. It will never end and I think it must be miserable feeling like you have to be doing that to show off to everyone.
I pity people like this that it matters so much.

This is why I deleted Facebook, it's just people wanting to be validated over the smallest of things constantly. I would have unfriended them all & just kept my family members but that would have caused a drama no doubt so I deleted it.

Probably up to her eyeballs in debt over it all and needs 'likes' to feel it was justified.

I know people like this, I’ve blocked them and I’m so much happier for it. I remember feeling really intimidated the once as they portrayed this perfect life. When I went to see them, I realised how fake it all was. They would also put passive aggressive memes about people not liking their posts and how obviously jealous everyone must be of them. It used to stress me out as I felt obliged to comment and like everything. I thought they would get mad if I didn’t.

Well she isn't exactly "smashing life" if she is checking her SM so often for likes LOL!

To mute someones story in Facebook click the 3 dots top right when viewing the story - then you can mute or unfollow their story from there. Job done.

Your colleague sounds insufferable. I'm interested to know how old she is? I'm in my 49s and barely any of my friends post regularly and many have completely stopped using Facebook, despite being prolific users in uni and up to mid 30s ish

@terriblyangryattimes she's in her thirties, like me. It does all feel very immature, especially the cryptic quotes about 'people who watch all you do but never like anything are haters'.

It's an addiction out of control.
What they don't realise is nobody is really that interested.

I genuinely believe that if people weren’t allowed to brag about their 10 grand holiday on social media, they wouldn’t go.

The only SM i have is MN thats it.

I read once that SM is like the local tip - full of other people's rubbish. I couldn't agree more.

Social media is addictive, but you're reliant on other people to provide your fix of likes (or thanks!), attention and approval.

With other addictions you can get your fix pretty much whenever you like provided you have the money and a shop is open (or a dealer available). I'd guess most substance addicts are pretty miserable when they can't get their fix.

With social media it is other people denying them their fix. All the arses who disagree with them, or are jealous of them, and so refuse to provide that endorphin hit by liking (or thanking!) their post.

I give thanks every day that my addictive vices are limited to social media and sugar, and not something more damaging like alcohol or gambling.

I'll try not to be annoyed if people don't give me thanks though.

I don’t know what it is about social media that presents perfectly lovely people as totally obnoxious, but I’ve definitely observed this.
I know someone in real life who, when you talk to them, is one of the most shy and kind souls on the planet. But, because she’s attempting to supplement the family income through network marketing, her social media is filled with what essentially boils down to “of course if you care at all about yourself you’ll buy my skincare so you too can be glamorous like I am”.
She’s not arrogant in real life. I doubt she’s examining my pores every time she sees me. But I am colossally on edge and insecure around her in person due to the steady stream of “here’s how you can shop my links”, “outfit inspo”, “makeup haul”, etc things she posts. Makes me feel like every time I walk by her my hair inflates with frizz and my skin looks ancient and my weight screams at her.
I can only strongly urge you to find that way to mute stories and move on. I believe sometimes kind and lovely people are simply following the trend and doing what they’re told will bring them followers of Instagram, no matter how much it doesn’t fit their actual persona.

Poor thing, she's probably got something going wrong in her life.
I'd just mute/unfollow and just be nice to her IRL. If she asks just say you don't bother with insta much.