Birthday present

27 replies

Mumof3dogs · 13/09/2024 00:38

Just sense checking if I am being ungrateful or ?

So Wednesday it was my birthday and a big one too ( 60) which in the summer I thought heck why not and planned a party to celebrate!
It's at home with bbq and drinks so obviously will cost but not a hugely expensive affair .

My DH who has form for being useless at gift giving is working away mon to Fri so wasn't with me for the day.
He did send some Roses a card and chocolates - nice gesture as not here ..
Come home last night and it seems in his mind he's done - I got you the flowers you liked them didn't you ?
I was hoping for an actual gift that he had put some thought into for my birthday .
AIBU?
a party is expensive be happy with that
Or
He should have made an effort and bought a nice gift for your 60th birthday?

I'm kinda wondering what to say now if someone asks at the party - so what did DH get you ??

OP posts:

AuntieLemonade · 17/09/2024 22:00

MonsteraMama · 13/09/2024 08:35

After 31 years of marriage and 31 years of him being crap, I'm not sure why you expected a transformation on this one occasion I'm afraid. Leopards, spots, etc etc.

I'm sorry. It does my swede in how much of a free pass men are given for being thoughtless and self centred in relationships. How many times have I read "oh men are just bad at gift giving, I give mine a list!" Or "this is what Amazon wish lists are made for!" and seen people nodding along sagely as if it's not utter bollocks that a grown man needs a list to know what his supposed life partner and most cherished human might like to receive on a special occasion. Fair enough in the first few years of a relationship when you're learning about one another, but after decades? Nah. I don't think it's ungrateful or entitled to expect a more thoughtful gesture than something a stranger might give you.

A friend of mine's final straw with her husband was a Bayliss and Harding gift set for her 50th. He still incredulously tells people that she divorced him over shower gel, clueless berk.

Happy Birthday OP, I hope your party is a great success and you have a lovely time! If you do decide to treat yourself to the gift of singledom for your 60th, wishing you all the very best 💐

Weaponised incompetence strikes again 🤬

cue the men apologists…

and if you don’t like what I’m saying, don’t come for me, I’m just being useless 😉

distractmeagain · 17/09/2024 22:01

oh no poor you.... im 60 in 3 years and my DH is already 'planning'. in fact i'm dreading it!

who paid for the party? you or him or was it a joint effort? maybe he thought that the party was enough? i dunno.. you'd have to ask him i guess

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