Dh's obsession with Christmas

[bumblebeegarden]

As the title suggests dh has an obsession with Christmas.
Not so much when we first met but since having children.
He listens to Christmas songs all year round and has a Christmas count down on his phone all year long.
He is obsessed with going to the shops that have Christmas things out already and looking along the isles in amazement and has already filled the children's stockings in excitement.
He also watches Christmas films all year round with the children.
I'm not sure how healthy this is for the children but it must take the novelty away.

It's fine if he just loves Christmas but my concern is it's something deeper than this, he has no contact with his parents because of abuse he experienced and I'm wondering if it has something nostalgic about it and takes him back to a time when his childhood was happy with the magic and excitement of Christmas?
If this is the case would you try and address this or leave it if it brings comfort?

How does the actual Christmas Day go? Do the kids enjoy it? Those things are important I think.

I agree get him to also do the other holidays?

This^
to be honest nothing wrong with being excited about something but it does sounds too much in his case.
He can be excited about spring, Easter, end of school year, summer, autumn, Halloween, bonfire night, etc and welcome to do relevant activities with children (it’s very educational and create a nice bond) but Christmas all year around sends a wrong message. There are a lot more in life then Christmas.

For me it's a case of wanting to give my kids the magic that I never had as a child, and I suppose that is healing for me on a lot of levels.

All I have is bad memories, and it makes me ridiculously happy when I hear my kids talk fondly about all the OTT stuff I've done through the years.

He's probably just counteracting the crap in his own childhood, which we all do to some degree.

Yes but if ick is all you have to say then it's judgy, unhelpful and unconstructive.

I also had a terrible childhood and personally hate Christmas but at least I saw beyond my own experience

I had terribly traumatic incidents at Christmas time throughout my childhood. I think I do try and make up for it now I am a parent, I don't go overboard but I do whatever I can to make sure they feel special and loved!

Despite this, last Christmas I felt the most anxious I had in years on that day - trauma can be so deep rooted.

It might be useful to talk about his experiences in childhood at Christmas, or get him to seek help and support.

I like Christmas and do my best to make things wonderful for the children but having someone living and breathing it all year round would not only annoy me but would make it much less special when it does eventually arrive. It's like having yule logs and mince pies all year round...they are not special or a treat anymore!
I listen to Magic radio and 6 weeks before Christmas they stop playing anything other than Christmas songs. After the first day it is so tedious that I don't tune back in until after Christmas.
I think your DH is harmless but it would irritate me and I would have to ask him to reign it in or keep it to himself.

My DSS is like this, as is my DSD, and his dad before him. They get more excited than kids. DSS starts her countdown in June. We get Christmas jumper ideas in the family group chat in Augast. Theres already talk of booking festive events for Xmas 2025.

It does my bloody head in tbh. DM and I are the Scrooges to their premature festivities.

However theres no abuse or anything weird or sinister about it. They are just lovely sweet people and nothing makes them happier than having all the kids and family together for food gifts and good times. Nothing wrong or weird with that at all.

Some people are Scrooges, some people are cheesy MFs. Stop judging and making it weird!

I had an abusive childhood and some awful awful Christmases. As a childless adult I hated it, refused to participate at all. Now I've a child I make a big deal of it for all of us because it's creating memories for him , we do matching pjs and stockings, movies ect ect. I've already started planning ds gifts and even bought one. I'm the same as other posters I want my boy to have what I didn't. While your husband might be a bit ott, it's a far healthier coping mechanism than I had before, spending all day in bed and being a Grinch. Not all coping mechanisms are bad

I love Christmas. I've booked pantos etc already and have started shopping for the children in the family and a few new decorations. I also have been looking at Christmas displays. But I like seasons, so decorate for Easter and Halloween/autumn as well.
How do the children feel about Christmas films all year round? Is he still watching a good mix of films? If not that needs addressing. Life shouldn't just be a count down to Christmas.

He's not rigid in his expectations, he just enjoys the ambiance and Christmas spirit. Music, films, decorations, drink and food but there's no particular expectation for everything to go a certain way, he's pretty laid back but does enjoy the present buying for the children and wrapping so that's something I don't have to do.
As for financially he does spend far too much but it doesn't negatively affect me or the children so I don't comment because he earns his salary and although we pool our income he earns more and that's what he wants to do.

. Life shouldn't just be a count down to Christmas.

I never thought of it like that, but you're right he's definitely not living in the moment.

You're married to the bizarro version of me.

My Mothers alcoholism ruined my childhood Christmas’s so when my DS was growing up, I made sure it was a special time for him and nothing like I had gone through.

He's pushing 40 now, but often mentions the lovely times we had when he was young, and how he realises now all the planning that went into it!

I think this is obviously what your DH is trying to create. So sad in its way, but not a surprise, given his awful childhood.

I'm nutty on Christmas.

I don't start shopping until August (done by end of November) so I can enjoy December.

I wear Christmas socks year round.

But all year?

Na.

Presuming your children are quite young so I just want to warn you that there may need to be quite an adjustment when they become teenagers. This isn't the case for everyone I'm sure but the magic is often lost in those teen years and they are likely to find such behaviour very cringe inducing.

Is this likely to be a problem in future? Will your husband be upset when the children stop caring as much or will he be happy to enjoy Christmas stuff on his own if needs be?

I think building something up to this degree can lead to a lot of disappointment for your children.

Are you married to 'Buddy' from Elf!!??

I'd trust your instincts on this OP. I love Christmas and nostalgia and do find that when I'm feeling low I want to get more into it if that makes sense. If it's having such an effect on him that he doesn't have a lot else in his life or it's an all year round thing I'd be concerned for his mental health.

I'm not convinced that seeing the Christmas season as a frantic build up to a single day and then everything is over for a year is healthy for anyone but especially for kids or people feeling fragile. There's different seasons in the year we should be making more of too.

There's nothing like having 4 kids to buy for , including stockings ,and two have birthdays in Dec
Plus the stress of the meal planning and food shopping for Christmas eve , Christmas day and boxing day ,for6 people.that takes the shine of it somehow,and makes it more of a chore.
A mother's work is never done
I'd love a husband who I could hand over the whole planning and cooking and wrapping of Christmas to.
If he isn't already doing ,all the grunt work of Christmas,that's probably why he loves it so much
I'd love Christmas as much as he does,if it came without all the extra work