To miss certain things about the toddler / younger years?

[GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing]

THIS IS LIGHTHEARTED!!

I have a teen (dd15 - 16 in Oct) and a 10 yo ds.

Overall I much prefer these ages to toddler / lower primary stages, but there are a few things I really miss!

Just being able to book things for us to do without in depth consultation is one.

Not having to work around extensively complicated diaries (Dd is involved in many local things which is great but logistically complex) to book anything as a family.

Being able to book and do those cute “children’s” activities and holidays I somehow thought would never end.

Many obvious ones like not being told what words I’m allowed to use and whether I’m allowed to speak to teachers or not (I don’t mean to complain I mean at all!).

My teen is amazing in many ways but I’m beginning to feel like I’m married again with all these restrictions on our leisure time!

There are loads of pros - I love being about to have in depth discussions about politics and the world with her, for example.

Whilst I’m typing, I’m thinking the issue is the age gap, as ds still does want to do things with me, and I’m not entirely at the stage of thinking “oh I’ve got teens, I’ll just book things for myself to do and not worry about them. I can do things with just ds but equally I don’t want to leave her alone for whole weekends. Has been quite useful just typing it out though.

YABU - I don’t miss the younger years at all

YANBU - yes there I things I miss that I never expected to

I only have one dc. My son means the world to us. I loved every stage of him growing up- newborn, Primary even Secondary. He's now just 19 and lovely as ever. He has a gf and lots of friends and interests of his own but we are very close, the three of us. He loves chatting with us for hours! He comes to cinema with me, Comic con, (occasionally theatre), meals out with us both and gigs with his dad. Does your dd want to do things with you? Why can't you do alternate activities for dc where they take turns picking with you. Oldest dd can come along on youngest's week if she wants to or stay home.
Does she have hobbies /friends? We are leaving my ds for a week for the first time next month. Will seem strange at first holidaying without him but things change and evolve, he didn't want to go away for a whole week but he's already talking about coming away with us again in the future.

Mine are still at primary but yes loved the toddler years, perhaps am nostalgic as partly was in covid and loads of other stressful stuff going on and feel like it was suddenly over too quick and should have been more present

Of course my two both mean the world to me, and I have also loved every stage. Did put lighthearted for this reason!

We do do things in separate pairs and dd and I do lots of things together.

Im just missing the times when there was less consultation/ comparing of diaries involved.

She has lots of interests and hobbies as well as good friends, yes, and thankfully we have many interests in common.

You make a good point re Covid - I think we all feel we missed a bit of important time, whatever stage our kids were at when it hit.

Can’t believe the lockdown babies are starting school this year, as an aside - it feels like 5 mins ago!

@Bbq1 I loved reading your post as we also have one DS (nearly 2 years old) and it makes me happy to think he might enjoy our company as he gets older and we will still spend time together 🙂

I have three teenage GC and really miss the years when they came individually for the day and we would cuddle up together and read book after book. We took the youngest one on holiday this summer and that was lovely but there were no cuddles.

DD is very nearly 15. We have the most amazing relationship. Teenage years give me so much freedom and sense of my own identity… but what I wouldn’t give to have her small enough again for one last snuggle on my lap

I feel exactly the same @GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing and also wonder if it’s because I have one in primary still and two teens.

I miss being able to take all three out on adventures together, not have to plan things meticulously around all of the older ones commitments. And then for one of them to suddenly plan something with their mates and not come. Which I get, they’re starting to have their own lives. But I still have that little pang. I probably am looking at those days with rose coloured glass though. And I absolutely love the adults that they are slowly becoming, we spend lots of time together.

My youngest still wants cuddles and to do stuff but again, it’s harder to organise trips out due to the commitments of the teens (not quite old enough to get themselves everywhere the need to go).

AN ACTUAL BEDTIME

I have three teens and I love this stage, seeing them maturing and thriving. I do miss the toddler years too, when they got so excited about little things and would sit on my lap etc. I think it's also partly seeing myself grow older and feeling nostalgic for my younger self.

❤️Thank you @CurbsideProphet, I hope so too.
When there's an only child I think it's maybe more likely. The years flew by but such a close relationship does definitely not just stop when they are older.

Sorry, Op wasn't saying that you don't think the world of your dc as obviously you do. I can offer no help re the diaries, i guess it will stop as they get older.

No worries!

Thanks everyone.

Having read the replies, I think it might be having the different stages at the same time that is the slight complexity- I don’t even want to say problem as it isn’t really one!

DD and I do have a fantastic relationship- especially when it is just the two of us. We do lots together.

I just miss being able to simply press “book now” without consultation (finance dependent of course but that didn’t require discussion) or just say “let’s go here” and do it.

But there we are - things change!

You definitely get me!

My 10 yo definitely still loves a cuddle which is nice - and still wants to do a lot of these “activities” I want to do…

I don't really relate to the COVID posters, didn't most of us get more time with our families then, not less?

I think people mean they didn’t get to do the things they perhaps wanted to with their kids, or with their kids together with family and friends, during the Covid times.