AIBU to ask if you know anything about RAF recruitment? Death trigger warning

[comeflywithme1]

My son was wanted to go into the RAF once finished A-Levels's for a long time, on one of their apprenticeship schemes for a trade.

He used to have childhood asthma when he was at Primary school then he gradually grew out of it and no longer needed inhalors. Earlier on this year he was present at the sudden death of his Grandmother who he was really close. It was quite traumatic as we were visiting and she said she had a headache and went for a rest of the bed. She was 72 so not very elderly. When we went to check on her an hour later she was unresponsive and he was present as we did CPR frantically trying to get her heart to start. It was quite an upsetting scene; her bowels opened and her mouth was frothing from the pool saliva and the air from the CPR. Three ambulances turned up due to it being sudden and a relatively young age, so we had about 8 people in the house with lots of attempts to bring her back before she was pronounced dead.

My son was obviously upset from the experience, it was quite a brutal experience of his very first death of a loved one at 16. He coped really well, however, a couple of days later he felt some chest tighness and I took him to the doctors as we thought it was a return of asthma and he was prescribed an inhalor. He took a dose that day and hasn't used it since. The tightness resolved itself and we now think it was some sort of stress reponse as opposed to a return of astham. He's had no symptoms since. I'm really proud of how he coped with the whole situation as he showed true resilience and knuckled down for his GCSE's even though we were dealing with Post Mortems and Coroners at the time and 6 weeks for the funeral.

We are hoping to go to an RAF Open day to learn more about what is available but have now learnt that if you have asthma and have been prescribed an inhalor in the last 4 years then they can treat you as medically unfit? By the time he will be ready to apply it will be only 2 years since this prescription that he didn't need anyway.

I could now kick myself for taking him to the doctors when it clearly wasn't a return of the asthma and now it will potentially jeopordise his plans to apply to the RAF. It's not to become a pilot! Does anyone know whether they would look into the fine details as to why he was prescribed an inhalor and consider that it actually wasn't needed?

I'm not offended by the details OP included, it helps to explain why her son had a stress response, and we should talk more about the realitiea of dying
I agree, there's a world of difference of nan ' slipping away' and looking like she's having a nap to the scene the ds witnessed.

Yes they will thoroughly go through all GP records. Lying about your background is taken very seriously in the armed forces.

The police may be a good alternative for your son OP

I understand that it's similar to Army medical requirements. My ds2 was medically discharged due to an unknown issue that came to light through training. He had to be stable for 2 years following treatment in order to reapply.

His case went to the medical board for approval to apply, but after 18 months he withdrew his application as nobody was prepared to make a decision to allow him to join.

Reading this:

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/655f74251fd90c0013ac3af6/FOI2023_00173.pdf

I would think your son would need to wait 4 years from when he had the inhaler.

@mychilddeservesaneducation

Thank you for the informative reply. I wondered how it worked.

Sorry if people were offended by the details of my post, it wasn't my intention. I wanted to get across the point that is was an unpleasant situation for a just turned 16 year old to encounter- especially as it was his first experience of death. He was stood next to the body as I was trying to get her heart started. I don't know if it was a stress response or not but after going to the doctors if never happened again. I also don't want to give true impression he lacks resilience. He showed really maturity and kindness throughout the whole situation. Yes, I probably am suffering from PTSD I had flashback for a number of weeks that I've had to work on to get over. Several months on and I am doing well. Again, sorry for any offence caused.

@comeflywithme1 it sounds like a horrific event to be faced with, for you both. I’m sorry that you had to get through that.

I think that eventually this will bolster both yours and your ds’s resilience but it actually might not be a terrible thing if it does require your ds waiting a couple more years. Putting some distance between such a traumatic event and putting himself in inherently stressful situations allows more time for him to absorb impacts and time for reflection. Ideally both of you should go to and engage with counselling but that’s easier said than done I know. I’m also not sure how that’s viewed by the military.

Don't be hard on yourself or your son. People here will get upset just to be argumentative.
He sounds like a very level-headed young man, wishing him the best of luck

@comeflywithme1 is asthma still noted as current on your son's medical record with his GP, and is the inhaler still showing as a repeat prescription?

If the GP treated it as a one off, that's going to be rather different to him still being on the practice asthma register as an active patient.

@comeflywithme1 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0lw1z0lej8o
Will this make a difference for him?

Likely to be turned down I'm afraid. A friend's son was rejected for helicopter pilot training as his over anxious mother had taken him repeatedly to the doctors for suspected asthma. He was given an inhaler one time but didn't need it. However, every time he had a cold she took him for his 'asthma' and despite his doctor pronouncing him absolutely fine, he was rejected due to these childhood visits.

Hi OP. I didn’t comment at the time but I saw this and thought of you. Some hope perhaps?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0lw1z0lej8o

Really sorry for all you have all been through.

I had a medical issue that came up during recruitment. The RAF sent me to an appropriate medica expert who agreed it was a temporary situational problem and cleared me for entry. They don’t always just rule you out. It’s worth discussing it with the recruiters. He could also ask to be properly tested for asthma by the GP.

Also my brother had childhood asthma but was accepted and served for a number of years in the RAF.

My son was prescribed an inhaler during childhood fo what turned out to be hay-fever.

As a result he was initially declined entry to the Army (Royal Engineers) but our GP wrote a really good letter to recruitment to state that in hindsight he shouldn't have been prescribed it and he does not have asthma. He did then have a heart murmur picked up during the recruitment medical but was eventually accepted.

Not sure how this will go for him but good luck and sorry for your loss xx

Honestly I'd speak with the recruiter and find out for definite what the requirements are. Explain what happened at the time and the outcome with the inhaler. Then your son will know exactly where he stands. If he's only going to apply to get instantly rejected then at least he can put him efforts into something else now rather than wasting time hoping.

Also please try not to feel guilt at getting him an inhaler. You had a lot on at the time, what happened you can't change. Also sorry for your loss and I hope your counselling continues to help.

This happens quite often. What I would do is get him a spirometry with reversibility test done privately (for speed) which will support a diagnosis of asthma, or indicate that it is less likely. A one off prescription of a blue inhaler is a bit different to an ongoing preventer inhaler.