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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this man playing games or am I paranoid ?

16 replies

BeAzureNewt · 11/09/2024 23:15

A few weeks ago I posted about a guy I was dating, he stopped texting me and turns out he is actually married not divorced.
A few days ago I opened the dating app where I met him again and his brother sent me a like there.
Both him and brother seem to have fake names but they look alike so after matching I searched and found him on Facebook,I had this gut feeling.
We started talking and he started asking if there's anything new 5 mins into convo and then we spoke on the phone.
He started talking to me about his life how he is speprated when he is actually married and talked to me about how all his brothers are also married and asked if we could go for a coffee to which I revealed the truth that I know his name and that he is the brother of the guy i dated.
At first he denied knowing him saying he doesn't know a guy named like that etc then he accepted they are brothers after I told him that I spotted them together on a Facebook photo.
He acted like he knew nothing about me even though they are both married men using the same dating app and spend all day together as they work at same place.
The lies were just unbelievable.
Couple of days before this ,a guy also friend requested me both on FB and insta ,I thought he was a distant cousin so I accepted.
He told me he saw me on the dating app and then found me on FB ,when I asked how he found me since I only have my short name there he said he was lucky and being vague.
Started asking if I dated anyone from the app and other questions.
But one strange thing is that when I asked of he sent me like in the app he said he doesn't remember so I confronted him ,told him i know sb put you up to this and blocked him.
After I block this guy I received the like from my date's brother.
Can all this be a coincidence and the brother really didn't know about me?
Or does this feel like a set up ?
Now I have blocked them after I sent him a message threatening to tell everything to his wife if he continues playing games like this.

OP posts:
fuckssaaaaake · 11/09/2024 23:20

Both brothers and a cousin? Honestly no idea what I just read to be honest but I would say you need to delete your account

CrikeyMajikey · 11/09/2024 23:30

Do you think it’s actually the original guy using his brother and cousin’s photos and setting up additional accounts? If so, he’s a total weird. Delete your account for a while.

TheShellBeach · 11/09/2024 23:34

I couldn't make head nor tail of any of that.

BeAzureNewt · 12/09/2024 00:02

@TheShellBeach
In short a younger guy contacted me on social media saying he has seen me on the dating app and asking all kinds of questions and after I block him my dates brother matches with me on that dating app.
All this was only 3 days of me reopening the dating app account.
His brother when confronted acted like he didn't even know him at first.

OP posts:
Catza · 12/09/2024 08:58

Why are you posting this again?

Naunet · 12/09/2024 09:17

I’d be worried a group of men are trying to lure you into meeting them. Maybe delete the app and join a different one.

Whothefuckdoesthat · 12/09/2024 11:18

I think you should block all of them on everything and then come off fb and dating apps for at least a couple of months. If you keep picking the same sort of men to date, then you’re going to keep having the same sort of problems. You need to spend some time thinking about red flags, why you can’t see them, and why you would waste a second of your time trying to get some random weirdo to admit that he’s someone’s brother. You’re just adding fuel to a very weird fire.

Whothefuckdoesthat · 12/09/2024 11:20

Also, if I had one, I’d bet my house that they were all the same person.

FuzzyDiva · 12/09/2024 11:31

Honestly, what are you doing even pandering to responses and calls?! Just ignore and stay away from him and anyone else that could possibly be related or associated with him.

BeAzureNewt · 12/09/2024 17:47

They are blocked after I found out that it was his brother.
I have seen him before on the app so don't think it was same person just it seemed suspicious for him to not know about me at all, pretty sure that 2 married brothers on the same app would talk to each other about who they are seeing.

OP posts:
Scottsy200 · 16/09/2024 17:49

I nearly had a stroke just trying to figure out what has happened from your story but it’s all a bit weird, run!!!

Blink1982 · 16/09/2024 18:01

They all know about u and each other.step away from them all.maybe delete your profile a d make a different one if you still want to

Seas164 · 16/09/2024 18:07

I need a lie down from just reading that. It shouldn't be this complicated. If it's like this, it means something is not right. And you block and delete.

Severe confusion shouldn't be a side effect of communication, unless it's a toxic mess. Stay away.

BMW6 · 16/09/2024 18:11

I'll bet its the same man. Block and beware in future.

Sassybooklover · 16/09/2024 18:39

My guess it's only the one person, who is pretending to be other people. If it is different people, then yes, they are all aware of who you are. None of the contact is a coincidence. Block.

AuntieLemonade · 16/09/2024 20:22

This was posted a few days ago and it didn’t make sense then either! It makes even less sense now, especially as I’ve just had to check I’m not psychic/time hopping/hallucinating…

to save time, what everyone said last time!

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