Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you move, or is it too late?

3 replies

shellsandshinythings · 11/09/2024 14:48

DH and I have always planned to move to Spain. I've lived there previously, and we've visited together a lot.

We almost went pre-Brexit, but DH's mum had a complete meltdown, so we didn't go. Then we had DS, and the timing wasn't right. We've talked about it a lot, and always felt we wanted to give him the experience and culture, so it's always been on the cards.

He's just turned 3, and we've been talking about going next year. We qualify for a visa, so we're fine on that front. The plan was for DS to start preschool there, and then we'd see how we got on, and he'd potentially go to school there. Me and DH would work, and after a year or two, we'd buy somewhere. My job would arguably be easier from Europe, due to Brexit, but most of the financial pressure would be on me.

But I'm pregnant. I'm due next April, and realistically we couldn't move before January at the earliest, so it'd be a bit tight. This is a much-wanted second baby, but the timing hasn't really worked out!

We've been NC with DH's parents for 2 years now, so they are no longer a consideration, and neither of us have any family support - but we didn't last time, either, and it works out. DH will get a decent length of paternity leave and if we wanted, could take a sabbatical to make our lives easier, albeit unpaid. We'd be further away from some close friends, but I expect we'd stay in touch with most of them. DS would see less of his current close friends, as we meet twice a week when he's not in nursery, but that'll happen over time anyway as they'll all go to different schools...

Staying is probably easier from a financial and practical point of view, with the pregnancy, but I really wanted to give DS the experience of living abroad, and another language. Plus we'd need to move house if we were to stay here, because there isn't enough room for four of us! DH probably won't be with me for the birth because he'll need to be with DS.

I'm worried about him missing out on that, and on putting him into school here - the closest ones to us are not great, definitely the worst in the county, and I'm not sure that we'd get into the others because we have these so close by. Catchment areas are not the easiest to find out!

My Spanish is decent, DH is learning, DS would go to a multilingual preschool but would likely pick it up there.

Would you go, or put the idea to bed now?

YABU - It's too much, stay where you are
YANBU - Go!

OP posts:
PoliteExpert · 11/09/2024 14:50

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

MojoMoon · 11/09/2024 14:54
  1. Do both adults want to do this?
  2. Can you afford it?
  3. Will you qualify for health care?
  4. In the event of some massive unforseen crisis, so you have enough savings to move yourself back to the UK?

If yes to all of these then go. Make the most of life and have an adventure. Don't over complicate it. Your children are very young and will adapt in any case.

shellsandshinythings · 11/09/2024 15:21

Yeah, we're both keen.

Waiting until January will mean we go with pretty healthy savings, so I'd like to hold out for that, but yes we can afford it.

Yep, we've got good private medical insurance in place already.

Yes, we could get back, and would have our home here.

Thank you!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread