Does life get better post menopause?

[NewMe2024]

I’m experiencing early perimenopause (it started at around 41) and now think I might be in the late stages at approaching 44. It’s been a bumpy ride emotionally and physically, with some very low points in terms of mental health. My career has taken a real nose dive during this time and I would love to get back to the energetic woman I was five years ago. FWIW I don’t have kids so realising I will never have them has also been part of the emotional ride.

I’m now on HRT which has helped a lot, though it’s early days and the dosage not right yet. Over time, I’ve gone from struggling to accept that I’m in peri to looking forward to menopause if it means this rollercoaster is over. My question is whether being menopausal in my mid 40s could be something to look forward to? Have other women who struggled in peri experienced a new lease of life / return to their ‘old selves’ or sense of a new self? If so, did anything specifically help you to get to that place (lifestyle, mindset, etc.). I’d particularly like to hear from anyone who went through early menopause but am interested in all perspectives.

YABU: Menopause is shit as well.

YANBU: It gets better out the other side.

I skip past the sanitary products aisle and head to the wine section. I spend the money I’ve saved in there now 🤣

I'd like to know this too. If energy levels will return then I'll keep pushing on with things. If not, I'll need to make some changes to how I live.

Yes, this is exactly the kind of thing I’m considering too @TreesWelliesKnees

I was officially in menopause by 50, so not as early as you might be OP. And I tried hrt but it didn't suit me. I also don't have children. Fir me, menopause is absolutely fabulous. I don't have the energy I had in my 30s and 40s, but I also don't have the extreme swings in emotional and physical wellbeing. I imagine this must be similar to what it's like for men, to wake up everyday feeling pretty much the same physically and emotionally. I love the stability, it's been a huge factor in increasing my sense of confidence and wellbeing.

Thanks @dudsville the idea of consistency makes a lot of sense. My cycle used to be very pronounced to the extent I would plan around it where I could. I miss the highs but not the lows!

I found peri an awful experience, mentally and physically and it went on far longer than I thought it would (probably 8 years in total). Post menopause is fab. Clarity of mind, seeing things without the fog of estrogen, no monthly rollercoaster. Excellent. You realise after the event what a slave to your hormones you were. I look at young women now and feel so sorry for them, it’s a hormonal shitshow you don’t realise you’re in at the time.

Me too, I used to get such awful self doubt, thoughts that everyone was just tolerating me, etc., so I used to put reminders in my diary not to make big decisions during that time. The amount and frequency of masking required is astonishing.

I think it's different for everyone. Some younger women don't ever struggle with PMT or monthly hormonal swings, have light periods. Or others who don't find that peri/menopause is a big deal at all and don't have symptoms.

I suppose it depends on how menopause has affected you. I have struggled enormously with anxiety/depression and HRT is helping a lot. I won't miss having to deal with that if it does finally pass. Other symptoms though are purely physical not psychological. Vaginal atrophy (which causes pain, vaginal dryness and repeated UTIs) is never going to reverse itself. I will be using vaginal estrogen for the rest of my life because once you are through the menopause you don't start producing your own any more.

Are you sure you're near the end of peri? My first peri symptoms were at 42. Now 52 and still menstruating like a 20 year old! I cannot wait until I'm menopausal and would have a hysterectomy if I could. I can't take hrt so my symptoms are pretty grim. 3.30am wake ups are a regular occurrence for starters. I'm knackered.

I was done and dusted by 40, trialled HRT and found it wasn't for me. Other than needing some energy and would like my joints to hurt less I'm really loving my life without the hormonal rollercoaster of my younger years.

Hi OP, I’m similar to yourself in some ways. I started early too, in my mid to late thirties & had a very long and difficult time dealing with the many & various symptoms! I also do not have children so knew that early menopause closed that option firmly for me (although other reasons had always made it unlikely prior to that). I haven’t taken any HRT for some time now, although I’m considering starting back for long term heart & bone protection. I feel so much better than I did, like night & day in relation to some of the horrible symptoms. My energy levels are very high, I literally never feel tired.

I'm interested in this too OP. My most annoying symptom is the brain fog - does that go away or will my mind never return to its previous sharpness?

Thank you so much everyone, some of these replies are really encouraging. I have to start work now so will reply more thoughtfully to pp later but wanted to say a quick thank you as I can see some already that are so helpful.

@BananaGrapeMelon FWIW brain fog is the one thing that I think HRT has helped with the most. I was truly feeing unable to trust my own mind and it dealt with it within a couple of weeks. Other things are harder to tackle but I’d really recommend it for that.

I’m in peri too, so I can’t comment on post menopause. Have been on HRT for just over a year now and it’s definitely helping with mood, brain fog, insomnia etc.

Alongside HRT, one of the most helpful adjustments I’ve made is just doing less. Reducing work hours, going out less, early nights, short home workouts instead of going to the gym, embracing saying “no” to invites and not giving any excuses.

At first it was a bit of a struggle but now I’m enjoying it. I’m earning less but I’m also spending less.

And have an awesome selection of loungewear to suit my new lifestyle 😆