To not understand what you do about contact while waiting for mediation to start?

[Borninabarn32]

Parent A says they want Week on week off. Parent B wants 2,2,3. So what do you do while waiting for mediation?

Would Parent A just keep the kids for a week when other parent wanted them back in 2 days? Would that be considered withholding contact?

If Parent B said "unless you agree to return the kids in 2 days I'm not dropping them off" would that be considered withholding contact?

Both are offering contact, just on different schedules. So is anyone withholding contact?

Im in a much more complicated situation but this is the bit I just cannot wrap my head around and don't know what I'm supposed to do while waiting for him to engage with mediation/be able to get a court order.

Can you call a solicitor? I feel they'll be best placed to help here

How far apart are the two proposals?

Are you really sure you need to go to court?
It's a horrible process, stressful, potentially very expensive, intrusive and often ends with neither parent getting exactly what they want.

Unless there are genuine safety concerns, which you don't mention, you're both going to have to compromise.
Can you not achieve that without court?

You have to go to mediation before court. We've tried to sort it in person. He was abusive to me and is neglectful and toxic towards DS. he becomes aggressive and threatening when talking in person. Hence the mediation, but if he doesn't respond to mediation I don't have a choice but to take it to court. I'd bloody love him to just have a grown up calm conversation about what our DS needs from us. But he's not capable.

What I'm confused about is if he's demanding certain contact and I'm saying "no, that's not in DSs interest, you can have xxx" and he refuses that, am I withholding contact? I'm offering contact, just not what he wants.

If what you're offering is reasonable then it's not withholding. Contact Womens Aid or Rights of Women for legal advice.

Stick to what is safe and in your DS best interest. Him refusing any contact only looks bad on him. You're also exempt from mediation with abuse if you don't won't to continue with it.

I believe while there is no court order you are under no obligation to make the child available to him at certain times, however that also works in reverse.

I doubt the court will find you to be withholding contact if you can prove you have agreed to the child spending time with him.

You have touched on the possibility of you both refusing to send the child to the other parent.
Please think very carefully before going down that route, it will be terribly upsetting for you son.

Are you in agreement to 50/50 but just the schedule you can't agree?