To add my name to their passports?

[greenleaveseverywhere]

Me and DP are not married. We have 1 DC aged 2 and another DC due any day.

We have had a very rocky year within our relationship- all finance related. He has a lot of debt which has come out of the woodwork & led to arguments, dishonesty and poor communication.

We have decided to keep our finances separate and give our relationship the best shot because despite his financial situation, I do believe we have potential for a strong and life long partnership.

That said, I am not 100% sure right now what will be the future. What I know is that I absolutely cannot marry him until his finances are 100% recovered and stable which looking at what's owed and what he earns is a long road ahead.

Our first child has his surname. But since coming to terms with the fact that we can't get married even if we stay together, I now feel really sad that I won't share a name with my children.

I am considering asking him to agree to double- barreling our surnames for the next baby and also changing our first child's name to be the same.

I guess I am looking for

1/ perspective?
2 / considerations?
3/ similar experiences?

Look forward to hearing from you x

You're not married, you can name your baby whatever you want. He should be the one asking if he wants to add his name.

But he would have to agree to changing our toddlers name though, wouldn't he??

yes that is correct. I think it's a fair deal - either you double-barrel both kids, or you have one with his name, one with yours.