To think she should have told me her bf was staying over?

[Frogmarch89]

Ok so very willing to be told I am being unreasonable here as maybe I'm over reacting.

SIL (DH sis) asked if my DD 9 wanted to stay over last Saturday as she has and 8 year old DD and they are close.

I said of course no probs and DD was very excited. All went well and I picked up a very happy DD Sunday morning.

Only issue was SIL boyfriend was sat there in his pjs and had stayed over too. They've been together 6 months and I've met him briefly once.

Now I haven't said anything but I think she should have told me he was staying over too and it's made me a bit more cautious about her sleeping over in the future.

So 2 questions really AIBU? And should I bring it up with SIL?

I would just say “she had a brilliant time but next time could you let me know if someone else is staying over just so I am aware”

this is spot on 👍🏼

What difference would it have made if you had known, would you not have let your daughter go?

I wouldn't allow my daughter to stay over somewhere with a man I've met once.

I have been thinking about this and I don't know. I guess I might have still let her go. Something deep down just niggling at me about it.

Probably best to take PP advice and say something like that.

I wouldn't be happy about this. She's being seeing this bloke just 6 months and he's already sleeping over when her daughter is there, personally I don't think he should have even been introduced to her daughter yet let alone sleep over. It says to me that she's not particularly stringent when it comes to safeguarding.

I think something should be said but as it's your husband's sister should probably come from him, what does he think?