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Original poster

Not sharing couple pics on socials

41 replies

Hoppy34 · 10/09/2024 18:40

For quite a few years now I’ve noticed my husband doesn’t share any pictures of me on his Instagram stories (he never posts on the grid but regularly posts on stories).
he posts lots of the children, and things he is doing (DIY projects etc) but even when we’ve been on holiday I am never shared even when he takes family pics of us.
I brought it up with him a few years ago whilst we was on holiday and asked if he was enjoying his single dads holiday as that is what it looks like. He laughed it off and said “everyone knows I’m married”. I just left it but slowly it’s been eating away at me.
I’ve recently found some inappropriate messages on his phone to a “friend” which although is a another story, I can’t help but feel the lack of me on his socials was a massive red flag prior to me seeing these.

I can’t think of any other reason as to why he’d constantly share all other aspects of his lift but not me unless it is to appear single on there so he can flirt with others…
thoughts.

OP posts:
Aliceal · 15/09/2024 12:07

Seeing as it is just you he appears to be alienating from his social media, I’d say he has his eye on someone else and is trying to present as a single, great dad who is good at DIY and a wonderful son.

Disturbia81 · 15/09/2024 12:15

Yes it's so obvious when a man has all his pics just of him, relationship not displayed on profile, and the woman has family pics and relationship displayed. 100% he wants to look single to randomers

Beth216 · 15/09/2024 12:18

Yeah he's not with you emotionally OP. You don't exist when he's away all week working, you're the woman who takes care of his kids. I bet he never mentions you at work and maybe this woman doesn't even know. It's all pretty shit OP.

Swiftie1878 · 15/09/2024 12:32

Hoppy34 · 10/09/2024 19:42

He laughed and said everyone knows I’m married to you, I talk about you at work all the time. It was then just dropped as we were on holiday and I didn’t want to cause conflict.

In was hurt earlier in the year as he posted a picture of him as a child with his mum and a big gushing Mother’s Day post to her, but me, nothing. He works away mon- fri and I am pretty much a single mother during the week to the kids as well as working so it felt like a slap in the face. Either post about us both or neither of us?! I feel like I’m being petty at times though and hate social media makes me feel that way.

I don’t tag him in pictures no.

I do know the content, not all as I only read a handful but one was implying he was “obsessed” with her and another earlier one was him telling her how he “always compliments” her. So god knows what else there was.

I have confronted him. I got the usual “it’s just banter” response 🥱
then he’s very sorry, he doesn’t fancy her blah blah blah.

Show quote history

Hold on. He works away Mon -Fri?
How does he post about the school run, his allotment and walking the dogs then?

This all sounds very fishy.
He is living a ‘single life’ away from home, but including home life experiences and excluding you from them?

I don’t think I understand what’s going on, but wish you luck!

StaunchMomma · 15/09/2024 12:32

I'd be pissed if my other half posted me on socials, in fairness.

That said, your DH knows it's upsetting you but he's carried on doing it. That's what needs to be discussed more deeply, IMO.

As an aside, I hate seeing 'happy couple' posts on eg FB. It's really cringe and 99% of the time the ones that do it are screaming at each other half the time or everyone knows one of them is a shagabout.

There's nothing wrong with being privately happy.

StaunchMomma · 15/09/2024 12:35

I have confronted him. I got the usual “it’s just banter” response 🥱
then he’s very sorry, he doesn’t fancy her blah blah blah.

What he thinks of her isn't the point - he's behaving inappropriately.

This is WAY more of an issue than the SM problem.

I wouldn't be putting up with that shit for a second.

Chonk · 15/09/2024 13:26

Have you met his colleagues OP? Or do you only have his word for it that he talks about you? They say actions speak louder than words and it does look like he's hiding you. I'm sorry but I think you have every reason to be concerned, especially with him 'working away' every week.

Clementine22 · 15/09/2024 23:08

There’s 2 issues here

Social Media - you aren’t aligned in what you want to do with it. My ex husband and I were on social media together, with our relationship status and shared photos, tagging eachother etc. I would expect this the norm in any solid relationship as a statement of “us” so can see why you aren’t appreciative of him not wanting to share photos etc on there and somewhat appearing very separate to you.

Messaging this woman - some people may say it’s okay and some not. The question is whether it’s okay or not for you, it does sound a bit inappropriate and if he’s aware of that and the impact on your relationship then he should act accordingly, as I’m sure he would expect you to.

Ladyluck22 · 15/09/2024 23:09

I would start tagging him in family photos of you all. Especially if he’s taking photos of your holiday and not including you, I’ll be posting at the same time of Photos with all of you in.

Ameteurmum · 18/09/2024 14:13

My husband is a ghost on socials, he has them but I think just to look at other people’s content. On my birthday or Mother’s Day he will put up photos of me on fb and a nice message but I don’t expect it. If I think about it I don’t really put up a lot of photos of him or us together. To be honest I personally feel like those couples that are always all over each other all over each others feeds are probably trying to portray their relationship as more than it is. I can be very happy in my marriage and not have to shove it down everyone’s throat everyday

dutysuite · 18/09/2024 14:20

I have never posted photos of my husband on social media, In fact I don’t post photos at all anymore and have recently made all my old photos on facebook private. I think most people unless a content creator or celeb avoid posting things online about their private lives nowadays.

DoughBallss · 18/09/2024 16:05

Why do you care so much what others think?

My fiancé never posts anything of me either but tbh he’s doing me a favour because I usually look like dog s**t in the photos he takes 😂 anyone who knows us knows we are very happy so who cares what anyone outside of our circle thinks

He does reshare the stories I upload of the kids though so not quite the single dads impression you mentioned

Original poster
Hoppy34 · 18/09/2024 18:45

Ameteurmum · 18/09/2024 14:13

My husband is a ghost on socials, he has them but I think just to look at other people’s content. On my birthday or Mother’s Day he will put up photos of me on fb and a nice message but I don’t expect it. If I think about it I don’t really put up a lot of photos of him or us together. To be honest I personally feel like those couples that are always all over each other all over each others feeds are probably trying to portray their relationship as more than it is. I can be very happy in my marriage and not have to shove it down everyone’s throat everyday

I really think some people seem to be missing the point (not just you).

I also wouldn’t expect nor want hundreds of pictures of us posted online, everyone knows that’s fake, we aren’t teenagers.

My point was that he isn’t a ghost on socials, he is very very active on an almost daily basis posting pictures of all aspects of his life - just minus me.

a lot of people are commenting saying their husband doesn’t post much so they aren’t bothered, well I also wouldn’t be if my husband didn’t post much either. But he does.

I very rarely post myself. I only ever do on holidays / special occasions but when I do- he is on them as he’s part of my life/family.
I find it strange he omits me from it when he is such a regular poster.

OP posts:
Gonk123 · 18/09/2024 19:36

Hoppy34 · 18/09/2024 18:45

I really think some people seem to be missing the point (not just you).

I also wouldn’t expect nor want hundreds of pictures of us posted online, everyone knows that’s fake, we aren’t teenagers.

My point was that he isn’t a ghost on socials, he is very very active on an almost daily basis posting pictures of all aspects of his life - just minus me.

a lot of people are commenting saying their husband doesn’t post much so they aren’t bothered, well I also wouldn’t be if my husband didn’t post much either. But he does.

I very rarely post myself. I only ever do on holidays / special occasions but when I do- he is on them as he’s part of my life/family.
I find it strange he omits me from it when he is such a regular poster.

Show quote history

I agree. It’s not about what the heir DH do but yours. And yours is odd not to post of you when he does everything else. It’s not rocket science is it! It’s advice for dealing with it not hearing someone else who has a completely different social media lifestyle!

Secondstart1001 · 18/09/2024 20:29

I agree op! People are missing the point. And it has been explained soooo many times !

How are you doing @Hoppy34 ?

Didimum · 18/09/2024 20:43

He’s obviously made you feel hugely insecure with these messages and it is 100% not ok

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