To struggle with working in the third trimester?

[thirdtrimesterworking]

I am working until 37 weeks (using annual leave, then will start maternity officially when I’ll be 39+4).

I’m nearly 31 weeks and I feel absolutely wiped but feel really weak for saying that! I did not expect to run out of steam quite so much. My iron levels are great and I’m relatively young, but with PGP, heartburn and generally getting much bigger I am beginning to find everything difficult - sitting in the car for too long is painful, same for going up and down stairs and walking too far or fast. I’m waiting on my physio appointment which will hopefully help.

I’m really emotional too, no doubt hormones are to thank but I had a very stressful and anxious first half of pregnancy and have recently been referred to fetal medicine over a measurement on a scan, which I am worried about.

I could go on leave earlier but want the maximum paid time with my baby. I just don’t know how to get through the last few weeks at work. It doesn’t help that although they’ve done a risk assessment they are still setting new targets and expecting I’ll be functioning same as before, when I’m just not. They don’t seem to really check in with me day to day except for my three weekly catch up. I seem to have appointments most weeks now till the end of pregnancy and it’s hard to juggle my day around it- my office is 12 miles from home, and a good two trains or 50 min drive from my hospital and midwife appointments. If I have an appointment in the middle of the day it makes it hard to get to it and I’m rushing about.

I can WFH but I strongly sense they don’t like the amount I am working remotely and would prefer me to be in the office more, even though this eats into my productivity as more time is spent travelling

Can anyone suggest any tips for the last few weeks of work? I could be signed off probably with PGP but conscious of my work ethic given I’ll be returning there next autumn and do ordinarily love my job.

I’m 37 weeks now. Working til 39 weeks. Luckily I’ve been encouraged to work from home! It’s a struggle, but I keep in mind having those extra weeks with the baby, and that motivates me. I’m not going above the necessary work wise. No tips really, maybe just get a formal agreement to WFH? It sounds like that’s your perception maybe not the reality. You need to tell them if it’s tough, they don’t necessarily know. And can you reschedule appointments for early or late?

There's a reason you can start maternity leave 11 weeks before your due date. It's hard. I stopped at 35 weeks, 2 weeks annual leave then maternity at 37 which worked well.

And of course they are expecting you to work at full capacity as you are working full time - it makes me cross when I hear women moaning like this because it's the very reason why employers don't want to hire women of childbearing age.

My advice is to bring maternity leave forward by 2 weeks

Thank you. I could always ask. They’ve already suggested a solution, changing roles to a different role but it would actually be harder and entirely in office rather than my current hybrid set up so not sure why they think it easier

Do you have holiday to use up? Either finish early or use the AL to reduce your work week down and then WFH to manage your tiredness and the pain. Can you do your job well remotely? In which case fuck anyone’s opinion and do whatever you need to do to survive

It's a real struggle and I found it hard from around that point too. I planned to work until 36 weeks but admitted defeat at 34 and went off then. I was stressed and exhausted, dealing with all the same symptoms you mention. It was such a relief and the rest has reduced my aches and pains a bit (even if I'm the size of a house now and stilll can't sleep properly at night!) I'm a contractor though and taking the financial hit was feasible and worth it to me. Obviously it's a very personal decision, but don't suffer if you don't have to.

When I was expecting twins I was signed of by my doctor eight weeks before my due date.
This was for medical reasons
I couldn’t walk up the four flights to my office and the only toilet at work was on the ground floor ie four flights down again. I was more horizontal than vertical and my midwife was worried about me being on my feet so much with such a huge bump and extra weight to carry. ( 6 stone extra )

I still had the full maternity leave allowance as I was signed off early for medical reasons which was not part of my maternity leave. I did, however, go back to work a month earlier just because I felt bad about leaving my colleagues to carry all the burden.

If you are not coping and it is considered a medical issue you could ask your doctor or midwife what to do. Apart from that you can’t extend maternity leave allowance unless your work allow it.

I intended to go to 37 weeks but had to quit at 34 both times. My body just gave in.

I was fobbed off by my midwife when I said similar at 30 weeks. The usual second child and your older now bla bla bla. Sod came out at 39 weeks weighing 10lb. Yeh of course I imagined it and was of course old at 33 eyeroll. First child was 7lb.

Just keep pestering away, don't struggle in silence. Hard enough when pregnant as it is.

It makes you cross? Well let's all just keep quiet then and suffer in silence. Way to make it the problem of the woman rather than the real reason: ignorant people and processes who don't want to be accommodating where it is perfectly able to be. 🙄

OP, working from home would be a reasonable adjustment, particularly if you're already set up for it. Schedule a conversation, reiterate your commitment to the company/your team, and make it clear this will assist your productivity/ability to meet targets.

Currently 30 weeks and counting down the days until mat leave begins. I'm heavy and sore and that's bad enough, let alone everything else you mentioned you're going through x

I'm on my second pregnancy and I know how hard it can feel near the end. I work in a nursery so it's long hours and constantly getting up and down. I'm finishing just before turning 36 weeks.

Get signed off form docs m. I think they can make u take maternity from 36wks if ur off sick but that's close to 37wks!

I'm impressed at this! No way could I work in a nursery until that late! I finished at 37 weeks with DC1 (FT, office based but only 15 mins walk to and from home and low pressure job), 36 weeks with DC2 (4 days a week exclusively from home) and with DC3 I'm finishing in a couple weeks at 36 weeks again (4 days a week, usually 2 days from home and 2 in the office but sometimes all 4 need to be office based, plus commute of 30-60 mins each way on the bus depending on traffic etc). I only manage this because they're office based jobs, I couldn't do a physical job like nursery nursing anywhere near that late. I'm 34 weeks now and absolutely knackered and can't wait to finish.

If I could work remotely from home more though OP I would do so. Also think about starting your leave a bit earlier. Having a few weeks before baby arrives is a godsend I find.

I work in NHS and had a 2 train 45 minutes journey in the train .. the day no one gave me a seat (I asked) and I struggled to get off the floor by the toilet (lovely guard helped me, told the carriage she ashamed of them and took me to first class) on my journey back at 38 weeks was the day I tell hr I needed to go onto maternity.. honestly you know when it's right time to leave...

I seem to have appointments most weeks now till the end of pregnancy and it’s hard to juggle my day around it- my office is 12 miles from home, and a good two trains or 50 min drive from my hospital and midwife appointments. If I have an appointment in the middle of the day it makes it hard to get to it and I’m rushing about.

Any days you have a medical/midwife appointment, unless you have a face-to-face work meeting, you must WFH.

3-4 hours travelling to work a day is ridiculous.

I do agree with those says there’s a reason why you can start mat leave earlier than you planned to, and advising you to do so.

Youve for a choice I think. Either listen to your body and take some time to rest now, sacrificing a bit of time with your baby at the end, or keep in going as you plan, accepting it’ll be hard, in order to enjoy that time later on.

I don’t think you can expect to have both “extra” (as compared to your plans) time off now, and the time at the end. It’s a choice you’ve got to make. Otherwise you’re asking to have more than other women, which isn’t fair. What ever length they made mat leave, they’d need to be flexibility like this, and there’d always be this choice.