Job interview and poorly baby

[Heavyrainagain]

I’m on maternity leave with a baby who is 16 weeks old. On Friday I have an interview for a promotion at work. I’ve waited two years for the opportunity to come up. I need to prep a presentation.

But my baby is starting with a cold and so am I. He won’t be put down at all so I can’t even eat let alone open a laptop. Usually he naps for hours in his cot but he won’t. That’s not to mention I feel crap and had barely any sleep and my brain won’t work. I’m devastated this has happened this week of all weeks.

WIBU to ask for the interview to move to Monday? One of the hiring managers has a baby but the rest don’t.

You could ask, but I wouldn’t mention the unwell / not sleeping baby as the reason. It’s just not relevant. You could honestly say that you’re feeling unwell (although hard to know on Tuesday that you will be unwell on Friday)

I’d probably try to make it work for Friday. Is there anyone you can ask for some help so that you can sleep and prepare?

We don’t have any family close by and my husband is away this week with work. Obviously he’s got a nursery place but not until next year. I can’t believe it’s such bad timing! I’ll probably be feeling ok by Friday but really need time to prep this week which is the problem.

When you get back to work, you're going to have to get used to dealing with a poorly baby, being poorly yourself, and getting on with things.

Whilst they can't use your being a parent as a reason not to promote you, it's not going to look good if you don't make the interview because of a poorly baby - no-one will say anything, but it won't.

If you want to move the interview, use your own health as a reason, not the baby's.

It would look really bad to postpone for any reason but to say you’re unwell and have a poorly baby makes you look really flaky. They’re not going to give you a job if you don’t even make the interview without incident. Also it’s only Tuesday, you might be fine by Friday. Being a working parent is really tough. Hope you’re both feeling better soon.

Where I work no one would think twice about rescheduling the interview for you. We support lots of women through promotions whilst on maternity leave. I would say both my baby and I are sick and I’m going to need the weekend to prep, can we reschedule for Monday please.

There’s a big difference between muddling through a day and feeling match fit for an interview.

OP how supportive do you think your workplace will be?

Ask to reschedule. you don't even have to mention you're illness. say Friday no longer works for me. Or something like that. Meetings and interviews get rescheduled all the time.

What was your childcare plan for it originally?

It's not unreasonable to ask, but it's also not unreasonable for them to say no, especially as you are requesting a specific day for it to be moved to.

When I do interviews it's usually as a panel of 3, with 2 other senior managers, and it can be hard to reschedule promptly due to busy diaries and finding a time we can all do, the interview date is usually set a month in advance and listed on job advert. If people are unable to attend we often have to say sorry we are unable to reschedule. It may depend on how many candidates they have - if we have several other good candidates, we will tell candidate who is unable to attend that we will let them know if we don't appoint, and then offer a new date.

What are you going to do if baby wakes up mid nap mid interview???

Any chance you can find a local babysitter to help for 1 hour?

@doodleschnoodle mu husband who will be back Friday will watch baby for the hour

@Bushmillsbabe i only said Monday as it’s the next day. Obviously I would work around their availability.

OP, ask. I had a promotion interview recently. Then my baby (older, I'm back at work) was sick and had HFM and I had to collect him from nursery. I rang the lead on the interview panel and explained. They moved the interview to the next week. I had the interview, aced it, and got the promotion.

I really feel for you as I went through something similar while on mat leave when mine was two months old. Personally I wouldn't ask to move the interview, as PP said you'll have to deal with this type of stuff all the time when you're back at work and you don't know how people will react - you don't want them to subconsciously doubt your commitment and I wouldn't assume people with kids will necessarily be more sympathetic. If your DH is away, can you get a babysitter in for a few hours the next couple of days to give you time to focus on preparing the presentation? That's what I did, plus a night nanny the night before the presentation/interview as mine was still waking up every 2 hours at the time and I was shattered. Expensive but worth it to make sure I got the promotion.

Realistically I’m not going to find a night nanny by Friday. I could ask my neighbour to watch him as that’s pretty much the only help we get but he won’t settle on anyone but me currently. He usually sleeps through and goes down for a few hours napping in his cot no problem which is why it’s so frustrating!

I appreciate that, but the next date they can all do may be weeks away, and that's not fair to other candidates to delay outcome, and delay recruitment.
Hopefully they can reschedule promptly, but am just letting you know about potential outcomes, so you can decide how to proceed. If you say 'sorry I can't attend on Friday' and then they say 'unfortunately that means we cannot interview you', you need to consider that you may not get a chance to interview at all
So it's a gamble either way really.

• cancel and risk not interviewing at all, but they may reschedule and you could then go in completely prepared
• don't cancel and do your best

I know I’ll have to deal with this a lot when I’m at work but my baby will be older then, we will have family nearby as MIL is moving here and my husband won’t be away hopefully!

I recruit a lot in my role - this wouldn't be an issue for us and we'd make it work for you.

Well who was going to look after him while you were at the interview anyway? And him having a cold makes much difference to this exactly how?

If it was the interviewer I'd think you were flakey and probably write you off for the job

Ask to move it. It sounds like you were planning on doing the interview and banking on your baby sleeping through it? I think you need someone to watch him so you can fully focus on the interview. Whether he’s ill or not, what will you do if he wakes up and starts crying part way through?

I had an interview for a promotion at work when I was on mat leave and DS was 6 weeks old. I knew if it was just me and him at home I couldn’t rely on him napping even though he usually did (it’d be typical he’d wake the one time I needed him to sleep) and I wouldn’t be able to fully focus on the interview when I had to keep an ear out for DS. DH couldn’t take the interview date off work so I emailed HR saying that I was on maternity leave (as they knew) and I had no one to watch my baby on that date. I then offered them 3 alternative dates when DH knew he’d be able to take off work to watch DS. They were very understanding, rearranged the date and that was what. I got the job and they held it open for me until I returned 8 months later.

As a manager I wouldn't think you were flakey - life happens, and if your employer counts things out of your control against you, then they probably aren't the best employer to have with a young baby anyway. But it may not be simple to reschedule.
It may partly depend on how much they want you - if you are the stand out best candidate I would probably be more flexible than if I had loads of great candidates. Do you have any idea on your chances?

Just to make it clear I have childcare for the interview. My husband will be wfh Friday to look after him as the interview is over his lunch break. I always knew I needed childcare for the interview.

My problem is the hours I need to spend prepping this week, now that my baby won’t be put down, won’t sleep and is poorly. If it was just me with the cold I would muddle through.

Only you know how supportive your workplace/hiring managers will be but personally I wouldn't risk it. If you do, definitely don't say it's because you and baby are sick and therefore you need more time to prepare as that may come across very badly, you'd be better to make up some other excuse closer to the date.

@Mel2023 I understand that is why I have and always did have childcare arranged for the interview.

For a promotion at work I think it's okay to ask to move it but availability of the key people may not work out.

For a new role in a new company I would say you'd need to keep the original date and time.

Could you do prep whilst baby is breast feeding / napping on you?

Put your baby in a sling, whilst you do your prep. If he has a cold being upright will help him . You'll get your prep done, baby will sleep.