He just compared me to other people!

[Cappuccinowithonesugarplease]

I will keep this short because I'm so angry and upset.
Before I start I will mention that DP is on the spectrum and I have adhd tendencies.

We have a few fruit trees so I decided to make some jam. Now I have a tendency to be messy when I'm cooking or baking and DP knows it, so I'm halfway through making the jam and he walked in and mentioned that I had dripped jam on the kitchen floor and there was jam on the cooker splash back where it had been boiling. Now at this point I was just laughing about it as he does struggle to have a filter on what he is saying and tends to just blurt out his thoughts, he also has ocd.
What really has given me the rage tonight is that he went on to say 'well how Come those youtubers don't make mess and my mum has made jam for years and never made a mess like this'
At this point I was just like 'well this is who I am if you don't like it then tough!'
So he goes off in a huff saying I have an attitude 😒

Anyway by this point I'm so angry I stormed after him saying I'm not tolerating being compared to and he has now stormed out of the house calling me a drama queen.

We've been together 13 years and have 2 DC 6 and 2.

He has a lot of other redeeming qualities but I don't think I can accept being compared to!
AIBU?

I think this is one for the ND people to unpick. His ND (telling the truth and liking order) meets yours (being a bit untidy and not processing criticism well).

It is what it is sometimes.

Sorry OP but you were a drama queen, and you did have an attitude

All of those sound pretty stressful. Even good things, like a new baby, new home, promotion, wedding can put a couple under pressure.

I think you have hit the nail on the head, in that you are working really hard all the time and it would be nice if he could acknowledge your wins instead of being critical. It’s fair to say you over-reacted this time but it’s a last straw thing where you really could do with a bit of kindness rather than criticism from him when you’re ears deep in making jam. Which is a messy project!

Hopefully you guys can defuse things and have a hug and a laugh.

I appreciate your reply, thankyou. I probably did overreact but at times I struggle to keep a lid on my emotions, and the bluntness from him really doesn't help. Like you say if he acknowledged my wins instead of criticizing things would be different. Even a shit sandwich would be better!

It sounds like the straw that broke the camels back for you.

It's very draining to constantly have someone be negative and most people would have a point where they'd react to it.

I'd wait for things to calm down and then explain that I felt like he was saying more negative things than positive and it was getting me down.

Hopefully he doesn't realise he's doing it and will be more mindful about it.

You're allowed to have and express feelings OP.

Totally OTT, and drama yes.

You did have an attitude 😂

He's got no filter and you were under stress,, he sounds tactless and you have a lot going on..if I were you I'd have also been annoyed at his comments. YouTubers can edit their videos and he shouldn't compare you to them or to his mother, that's not sexy. I'd love a wife to make me jam honestly

Massive overreaction on your part. And as far as coming home to a jam spattered kitchen, I’m with your husband. That would do my head in.