To ask if you limit your teens screen time?

[raspberriez]

DS is in year 8, 13 in a few months.
He has a password-locked limit set on his phone- 2 hours on school days, 3 hours on weekend days. His phone also shuts off between 9pm and 7am (9.30pm on weekends)

I feel like this is pretty lenient for his age but he seems to think it’s extremely unfair.
lots of parents I talk to seem to think allowing self-regulation as they get older is better and will lead to better screen habits in the long-run. However if he’s left to it then he will literally be glued to the phone 24/7 from the moment he wakes.

Perhaps it depends on the individual child.

How do you manage screen time and limits? If you have limits does your child feel like the odd one out or are the other parents on the same page as you? Any advice welcome!

My DDs don't get 'screen time' so I can't really attest to it.

Do you mean you’re a screen-free house? Or that you just don’t make a point of calling it ‘screen-time’ and making a big deal of it type thing?

I think self regulation is sensible and encourages better habits personally. But you also know your DS.

Yanbu. Everyone I know limits it. Very few "self regulate". The ones with free-er access simply spend more time on devices and less time on hobbies like sport, music, art, drama etc.

No didn’t limit it for DS (20) or DD (16) but both highly self motivated (without any pressure) individuals who achieved top grades. No dramas etc. So I might have changed my mind had I not had easy teens. I sometimes wonder whether my laid back approach made them who they are, but I think mainly I’m just very lucky to have two well behaved self motivated kids

Your limits seem quite reasonable. I think you could be a bit more lenient at weekends so he is accessible to friends, the problem is many kids seem to see a generous limit a target not a limit. Maybe experiment with more leniency in a way that he and you get a feedback report, so if he was actively on for 15 hours a day then you know for sure he isn't ready. But if he is just chatting with pals and maybe a bit of tik tok or scrolling here and there then that's ok. In theory they do need to learn to self regulate but I think 15 is probably more appropriate for that, he is still very young.

Yes. Mine is 13 and phone goes off at 7. I extend it if she's on a sleepover until about 9. She can call in an emergency irrespective. No TV after dinner on weekdays but she can watch later on weekends (although we tend to do family film night). 3 hours a day screen time on week days 5 on weekends on phone/ tablet but she rarely uses it all.

Ds is 12 and in year 8. I don’t really limit it at all except that he has to leave his phone downstairs at 9.30 which is bedtime. At the weekends it’s 10/10.30. He spends a lot of time on his Xbox chatting to his friends from school. (His gaming room is right next to the living room so I can hear him fairly clearly)! If I said he could only have x amount of time he’d miss out on a lot of social stuff. It’s his main source of fun etc. But - we do go out a lot at weekends etc, he isn’t glued to it non stop. We live quite rurally and yesterday for example we did a very long country walk and had lunch in little coffee shop. The day before we went into the nearest city and had a whole day out there and had lunch out. So he does have a lot of screen time but also a lot of time doing other things too.

No. They are at school/travelling to school from 7:15-5:15, between doing homework and eating they hardly have time to go on their phones before going to bed early because they have to be up early. At the weekends they both see friends and do their homework, catch up on sleep, if they want to chill out on their phones they can. They work really hard, are both high achievers and don't have much downtime, I don't police what they do with it. Perhaps if they weren't both doing well I would consider it but they are good at policing themselves and imo that's what the goal is, getting your teens to a place where they will do what is best for themselves without needing to be told.

Depends on the use of the screen, DCs likes painting on procreate, use Duolingo for languages, listen to music, get books from BookTok, gaming with friends and recipes. No phone in bedroom from 9.30pm until next morning.

My 13YO has similar limits and tells me she’s the only kid in the world who has them. I know that’s not true as my friends limit their kids’ time as well. I am having trouble with her have no self control and like you say she would be on it 24/7 (or late into the night at least) if I didn’t control it. It’s a battleground atm and lots of fights around giving the phone back as she seems to work her way around the limits and get extra time. I have to physically remove the phone. :-/ Sorry not advice, just feel your pain!

13DD almost 14 has similar limits. what’s app off at 8pm - no social media. All her friends have snap chat, tick tock and instagram and she doesn’t. (I’ve asked them and parents about what they’re allowed)

She accepts it but is annoyed especially as her friends chat much later into the evening. I might extend it till 9 only because she does seem to be the only one with limits.

I need her to do homework, she also reads a lot and loves art, these are her only non phone hobbies so I don’t want to loose them…

biggest issue is her struggling to get up in morning, so having phone time later in evening will make it even worse.

Im a bit stuck with it all to know what is best.