DDs Best friends mum being funny with me

Louu97 · 2024-09-09T14:45:36+00:00

This morning, she said hello back but very stony faced and looked a bit angry. Then this pick up, completely blanked me and pretended I wasn’t there. I don’t know why. Would what you do?

redskydarknight · 09/09/2024 15:48

Assume she's having a bad day. If she's like it again tomorrow, maybe ask if everything is ok?

Depending on the age of DD, ask if she knows anything. Have your DC had a (temporary or otherwise) falling out?

NopeToThat · 09/09/2024 15:49

Why oh why do grown adults do this?! If she has a problem with you, at least tell you what it is so you can try and remedy if necessary. I loathe this type of passive aggressive behaviour and if you're already on the anxious side It's torturous. Sympathies op.

loropianalover · 09/09/2024 15:51

My least favourite trait in someone is when they make their bad day everyone else’s problem.

I’d do nothing OP, carry on as normal. Assuming the DD’s haven’t had a minor tiff or anything? Is that something your DD would tell you? Even if they have, I’m sure they’ll be over it by morning.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 09/09/2024 15:51

Either do nothing or ask her if something's wrong

Original poster

Louu97 · 09/09/2024 15:52

Thank you. They seem ok as they were both chatting after school in the playground but the mum didn’t say hello and didn’t acknowledge I was there and then they left. whereas normally we have chats and meet outside of school with the DC so it seemed strange

OP posts:

redskydarknight · 09/09/2024 15:52

NopeToThat · 09/09/2024 15:49

Why oh why do grown adults do this?! If she has a problem with you, at least tell you what it is so you can try and remedy if necessary. I loathe this type of passive aggressive behaviour and if you're already on the anxious side It's torturous. Sympathies op.

Thing is she may have done nothing.

"looked a bit angry" - that's just the way her face is

"blanked me" was distracted by something else and didn't notice me

This is two quick interactions, you can't really decide she has a problem with OP.

Original poster

Louu97 · 09/09/2024 15:55

Normally she seems but she said morning very flat and did generally look angry. And she did see me and mine and her DC were chatting so she knew I was there but just pretended I wasn’t

OP posts:

NerrSnerr · 09/09/2024 15:56

Maybe she's had some bad news this morning and didn't fully realise you were there? She could be unwell or feeling really low.

I'd ask her if she's ok.!

NopeToThat · 09/09/2024 16:34

redskydarknight · 09/09/2024 15:52

Thing is she may have done nothing.

"looked a bit angry" - that's just the way her face is

"blanked me" was distracted by something else and didn't notice me

This is two quick interactions, you can't really decide she has a problem with OP.

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You're right, as in the ops friend may just be having a bad day and she doesn't have an issue with the op per se. Where we differ, is I still don't think it's acceptable to take out your bad day on anyone else! It takes very little to plaster on a 2 second smile or give a quick hello, regardless of what's going on in your life. Or better still, tell them your having a bit of a crap day, so they won't have to tie themselves in knots thinking they are somehow the cause of your anger! makes life so much easier and nicer...

tenterden · 09/09/2024 16:36

Have you been shagging her husband again?? 😄

Hopefully she’s just in a bad mood? Or if it continues you might have to ask her? You haven’t changed mobile number recently? Missed terribly important play date or party?

Bellatrixpure · 09/09/2024 16:43

Sometimes people have stuff going on they don’t want to discuss and isn’t other school Mums business.

If she’s been otherwise friendly don’t assume it’s about you.

spaceshooter · 09/09/2024 17:05

I bet it's nothing to do with you. She's having a bad day or something rubbish has happened.

If we were friendly enough I'd text to check she's ok.

redskydarknight · 10/09/2024 07:47

NopeToThat · 09/09/2024 16:34

You're right, as in the ops friend may just be having a bad day and she doesn't have an issue with the op per se. Where we differ, is I still don't think it's acceptable to take out your bad day on anyone else! It takes very little to plaster on a 2 second smile or give a quick hello, regardless of what's going on in your life. Or better still, tell them your having a bit of a crap day, so they won't have to tie themselves in knots thinking they are somehow the cause of your anger! makes life so much easier and nicer...

Show quote history

how exactly is she taking her bad day out on OP?

She said hello in the morning. In the afternoon it sounds like she was distracted and didn't notice OP. She didn't shout or scream at OP or make nasty remarks.

This is a short interaction in the school playground. You are not obliged to be happy and chatty with everyone. I would put money on the fact that you are not yourself - that sometimes you are engrossed in your phone/thoughts and don't acknowledge people around you; that sometimes that you don't notice that someone you normally say hello to has arrived and you've not said anything; that sometimes when someone comes up and wants a long chat, you just want to grab your child and go; that you ignore the new/shy parent in the playground because some days actually you can't be bothered. If you genuinely are super friendly and happy and chatty to everyone every day, you are in a very small minority (or maybe a naturally huge extrovert).

The issue is that OP is reading a lot into not very much. If I was being an armchair pyschologist I might wonder if she had been brought up in a family where you had to behave in a particular way or you ended up in trouble, so she's used to being hypervigilant.

OP - if she's like this again today, I'd ask if she's ok.

NopeToThat · 10/09/2024 11:38

redskydarknight · 10/09/2024 07:47

how exactly is she taking her bad day out on OP?

She said hello in the morning. In the afternoon it sounds like she was distracted and didn't notice OP. She didn't shout or scream at OP or make nasty remarks.

This is a short interaction in the school playground. You are not obliged to be happy and chatty with everyone. I would put money on the fact that you are not yourself - that sometimes you are engrossed in your phone/thoughts and don't acknowledge people around you; that sometimes that you don't notice that someone you normally say hello to has arrived and you've not said anything; that sometimes when someone comes up and wants a long chat, you just want to grab your child and go; that you ignore the new/shy parent in the playground because some days actually you can't be bothered. If you genuinely are super friendly and happy and chatty to everyone every day, you are in a very small minority (or maybe a naturally huge extrovert).

The issue is that OP is reading a lot into not very much. If I was being an armchair pyschologist I might wonder if she had been brought up in a family where you had to behave in a particular way or you ended up in trouble, so she's used to being hypervigilant.

OP - if she's like this again today, I'd ask if she's ok.

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I'm unsure as to why you are so fervent in your reply to me. Truthfully, no one knows why the ops friend behaved the way she did - there's lots of ifs, buts and maybes. As a chat forum, We're simply offering insight/ advice/sympathy etc to the op based on our own perspective of the situation. Whereas I think the Friend sounds rude, you think otherwise and offer a different viewpoint. Great! No need to make it into something bigger or more personal than it is.