To want a proper plan?

[Sunshineandpool]

I have posted this on the SEN board but no response.

My head's all over the place. But I'm just looking for some advice for an upcoming school meeting.

My DD has autism and anxiety. She has just started Y8. Y7 was difficult and I tried to get a meeting in place before school started again or in the first week or so (as advised by the LA - a team around the child meeting) but the school didn't cooperate with this. So my DD started back on Thursday just gone and it was a disaster. She ended up getting so stressed she was shaking and had a nose bleed. The next morning she had a meltdown and was pulling her hair out.

I brought her into school (scared of attendance people getting on my back again.) and said she was in mental health crisis and needed a plan for her. Was just told she can speak to her Learning Mentor then needs to go to lessons. I explained that just wasn't going to work. The headteacher told me the school can't meet her needs but also wouldn't authorise me to take her home. I spoke to the SEN department at the LA who told me to take her home and keep her at home until a meeting could be arranged. And not to worry if it was authorised or not as no action would be taken.

The LA say the SENCo has told them they can meet my daughter's needs. However there has not been an assess/plan/do/review plan in place. This is what the LA want to put into place. The head teacher is claiming there is a plan like this in place but can't give me a copy of the plan or minutes of meetings. When I asked why if this plan existed it was not sent to the LA when they asked for information when I requested an EHCNA I was told the LA had never asked for any information!! So I have now done a Subject Access Request to try and find out once and for all!

Anyway, I'm just looking for any advice on what I could request to be put into place? She doesn't feel safe at school and is really scared. I don't think she can manage a full day and I feel she just needs to get used to being at school and settled before any demands are placed on her with lessons. They have changed her class so she is not with the friend she made last year which hasn't helped!

A friend mentioned finding a nurture group for her. Does anyone know anything about these and how it works?

Sorry for the ramble! Any advice much appreciated!

My DS has autism, adhd, touretts, anxiety and separation anxiety. The school haven't been the best as he's very sociable and hides it all well, so they just see him as playing up, which he also does.
The doctors have been amazing and for a while a few years ago he was on a reduced timetable. This didn't help him but I'm glad the doctor wrote to school requesting it. The doctors have also signed my son off when he's been really bad. He's now medicated for anxiety and although better he's learned how to cope. I know the doctors have my back if I need and when his attendance was really bad they told attendance officer it was mental health and I never got bothered.

My GP wrote a letter detailing that my DD has anxiety due to ASD and also Long Covid. The school already had her autism report saying she had anxiety but needed a GP letter. I didn't know DC could be signed off. I really hope now the attendance people will leave me alone.

I really want DD's plan to be SEN led but it always seems the attendance officer and deputy head and head get involved who know nothing about autism or mental health. I think she is going to need a reduced timetable and a transition back into school.

Does your dd have a diagnosis of anxiety through camh or doctor? You can get support therapy for anxiety, camhs put us in touch with organisations when they diagnosised my ds. My ds sen teacher is actually really crap as he can't deal with ds multiple diagnosis but that a whole different story.
At my ds school (mainstream) they have a separate hub that children can go to if their overwhelmed, struggling or for whatever reason. On their registers if they click on my ds name it will come up with all his diagnosis and how best to help him. Like using his name, putting their hand on his shoulder. Does you dd have anything like this?

She has a diagnosis of anxiety from the child development centre. We've not seen CAMHS. I've been told the reason is as it was believed she was on the waiting list to see the school counsellor (by the LA SEN team.) As it turned out she actually wasn't on the waiting list as school hadn't sorted it! Then the attendance officer at the LA told me this wasn't true so who knows?! Hopefully I can get this cleared up at the meeting.

I believe that there is information like this for DD. She has a 'time out pass' but has no idea where she is meant to go for timeout and also doesn't like to stand out and doesn't have the confidence to use it anyway. I feel my DD has a lot of generic kind of support but not much in the way of personal help. Things are mentioned but not followed up on. Or things are carried out but never reviewed. It's just quite bitty and very wishy washy. They do have a Learning Support centre, Student Services and a new Wellbeing room. She won't go in Student Services as the Attendance officer is in there. She also won't go in the Learning Support centre as she was turfed out one lunchtime for colouring rather than doing homework. We've been told that shouldn't have happened but she's not been in there since.

I would have a google and see what charity supports your area and put her on the waiting list for counselling. I would also look at what support they can offer. They often can go into meetings with you both to help support you and get what's right. I also learnt to ask for a written report on every conversation and if they Don't I'd follow up with a email. Dear xxxx as discussed on xxxx dd needs xyz and I'd appreciate if you can arrange this and let me know when this is done. That sort of thing.