Will she know and should I say something?

[OnePinkBird]

Hi, first time poster here. I’ll keep this very short.
Basically, last week I joined a private Facebook group about trying to conceive with fertility issues. I have a baby already who took 2 years to conceive, so I’m not in a rush just yet to have another baby, but will be looking at TTC soon due to knowing it’ll take longer for me than the average woman.

When I was looking at posts in the group a few days ago, I noticed that one of my friends is a member of the group too. When I clicked on their name, it said they had been a member of the group since January, so they were in it prior to me joining. I didn’t know she is TTC or experiencing fertility issues.

I’m not best friends with this person, but close enough that I see her regularly. She seemed really uncomfortable around me yesterday and didn’t say much to me. I’m probably thinking too much into it though and being sensitive because of postpartum hormones.

As she was in the group before me, will she have been notified that I’d joined? I don’t know if mutual friends are informed when you join the same groups as them. For reference, it’s a private group that admins have to approve you to join.

I’m just thinking that maybe she was quiet with me because she didn’t want me to know. She never knew I struggled to conceive. Should I say anything, or leave it? I don’t even know if she knew I joined the group. If she’s struggling, I’d like to support her, but I don’t know if she knows that I know she’s struggling, if that makes sense!

Anybody who understands Facebook better than me, please enlighten me!
Thanks

Also I know it’s not my business if she’s TTC! I just want to know if she knows that I joined the group. I’ll obviously be sensitive because I know what it’s like

I would never mention the group at all. Not that you are on it, not that you know she is. Nothing at all.

That’s what I’ll do, but will she have been notified that I joined the group?

She won't have been notified by Facebook but admins can set it to make an automated post that says something like 'lets welcome new members ' and it tags them. You would have seen that as well though.

It didn’t set an automated post so I’m assuming she doesn’t know then. Thank you :)

She won't have been notified, but if you click on 'Members', it will show you members with things in common (e.g. friends, mutual friends, same hometown, etc.), so she would see if she did that. She'd have to be checking the member list for some reason though, which is probably unlikely.

As mentioned above, in all the private groups I'm on, there is an easy to find members list. I often look at the names. Nothing on Facebook is really private is it?

Just act human FFS . Say you noticed she was in same group. Ask her how she is. Give some empathy. Stop making it all about you being uncomfortable

Have you interacted with any posts in the group eg commenting or liking them? If you’re friends with this person on Facebook and you’ve interacted with things in the same group she will see that on her timeline

If you have posted or made a comment it would automatically go into her feed and she may well see it. I am in a fairly sensitive group and I have noticed when friends of mine join or post

Change your FB name to your first and middle name or another name entirely. She won't recognise you then as long as your profile picture is also something bland and not your picture. That's if you don't want her to recognise you of course.
You will also have to be very restrained about respecting her privacy too though, including never making an identifiable remarks on her posts.