To think my family see me as a joke?

[areyoustillwatching]

I’m single and chlldless so there is already judgment that comes with that.

We just did a long weekend away, my mother and sister planned every meal we’d be having beforehand, then just handed me a list of buying 5 items. I’m not allowed to be involved in the planning, but I can be trusted to bring one bottle of wine.

They bought a frozen pizza for lunch, I said I’ll start making lunch and three of them swarmed on me, one telling me not to use the tray I’d got out and to put it straight in, then another starts rolling her eyes and saying “use a tray”. I just gave up and left them to it.

Aibu to just give up? Just because my sister is married with children she’s like the queen bee who decides everything and I’m just the joke.

TBH actually sounds like they maybe having a power battle for the matriach position. What seems like them doing it together and excluding you may be Queen Bee starting to take over and Mum fighting back and them competing to outdo each other with greater and greater levels of planning.
You could subtly ask them seperately how come they end up planning everything, as you felt a bit infantalised by it. But honestly I'd stay well out and let them get on with it. Its easier being the fun aunt who breaks the rules and sneaks in the haribo.

That sounds frustrating! I agree, just leave them to be picky at each other and be the fun one!

I would let them continue… no skin off your nose.

yes some parents are stupid when they think their better than a single person. They are pathetic and insecure.

any idiot can have a child…

I think you're being a bit sensitive if I'm honest. I'm 'single' and childfree too. I couldn't get worked up about someone else organising food and having a difference of opinion over a pizza tray.

Sounds possible.

The extra planning from your sister might be that she is trying to select things that her kids would eat or be ok with doing. Rather than leaving figuring it out to others through trial and error.
Sounds like it's gone a bit too far though

They're each battling to be queen bee. I don't think either is having a go at you, the argument is between themselves.

Let them wait on you. Only cook when they come to yours, and then tell them both politely but firmly to get out of your kitchen.

I’d be fine with this, please yes go ahead and cook for me. Put your feet up and read a book. I would say though as a parent I have had to plan food otherwise mine would end up just eating an apple or something, but I usually just make something seperate for her to minimise the impact on others. I know it’s a pain in the ass but honestly enjoy not having to do anything. They don’t think you are a joke they just have their own thing going on, it’s most likely not about you at all.