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AIBU?

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DS 13th birthday

10 replies

GreenFields11 · 08/09/2024 22:05

Oh help!
DS turns 13 in a few weeks.
He's had a really rough year, really coped/dealt with a lot so I want to focus on giving him a lovely time for his first teenage birthday.
He has asked if he can do something with friends.
Problem is, he doesn't have a group of friends who are all friends with each other.
He has about 10 friends, and they are a real mix of different types of people. He's equally good friends with all of them, but of those friends, some don't know each other, and some really dislike each other.
This means he can't just invite all 10 to do something together, he tells me some of them can't stand each other whilst others just don't know each other.
So what on earth can I do for him? How do I get round this?
It means we can't have a sleepover/gaming type birthday.
He doesn't have 1 friend in particular that he's closest too, he's just friends with them all.
So what type of activities can I do for him? DS suggested go-karting - this is way out of my price range at £50 per child! Then he suggested quad biking - this is £120 per child! Bowling is too normal, he does it too often normally.
I'm really stuck. It's giving me a complete headache and I cant work out a way around this.
When he was younger, we'd have a whole class party with bouncy castle or I'd take a big group out for the day, which was so much easier than trying to work this out! Seems like a really tricky age with all these different dynamics going on between different kids.

OP posts:
poppyzbrite4 · 08/09/2024 22:06

Paintball?

Littletreefrog · 08/09/2024 22:09

Can he do some smaller non expensive things with the different groups. Like a sleepover and gaming night with one group one weekend then either same again or something linked to the likes of the other friends another weekend?

One year DS went to a 4g football pitch thing with his football friends then another night had his "geeky" (his words) over for movies and pizza.

HerewegoagainSS · 08/09/2024 22:09

Laser quest? Climbing? Trampoline park

Poppins21 · 08/09/2024 22:21

HerewegoagainSS · 08/09/2024 22:09

Laser quest? Climbing? Trampoline park

Edited

I would second the climbing the local climbing wall can do a taster session and then they can go bouldering. I would imagine it would cost less than the go karts.

SilverliningHunter · 08/09/2024 22:28

How close are you to something like Alton Towers? There’s often offers on there and you could ask everyone to bring a packed lunch and drop them off and wait in a nearby pub reading until they need collecting?

areallmotherslikethis · 08/09/2024 22:32

Swimming

Cinema and food

Ninja warrior / climbing / go ape etc

chrisrobin · 08/09/2024 22:33

Can you rent a screen at your local cinema and either have a private film showing or take a games console and hook it up for big screen games? Our cineworld does it, it cost £10-£15ish a head

YellowphantGrey · 08/09/2024 22:42

Do you have a Go Ape or something similar? DS had his 11th birthday at a Laser Quest type place which was cheaper than paintballing.

What did he do for his 12 birthday? DS never had a party after 11 because no-one else did at secondary and then we went into lockdown!

wellingtonsandwaffles · 08/09/2024 22:58

Do you have an arcade centre nearby? We have one near us where you pay £10 for 2 hours, it’s good value and teens I know love it.

Bouldering climbing is about £15 normally and also good fun but quite challenging- you could probably look to book an instructor for an hour.

If they’re still open, aqua parks (inflatable water obstacle courses ) are really fun too - normally about £15-20 - wetsuit hire is a must though!

Top golf (or equivalents - interactive driving ranges) is a bit more chilled - and you are in booths so could split the group.

theres also the more fun mini golf centre like Junkyard Golf which has quite a party atmosphere

DesparatePragmatist · 08/09/2024 23:11

I think your issue is the social dynamics more than the activity, isn't it?

DS13 has different friendship groups. They all start cutting down big party activities nowish, it's been mostly groups of 2-4 for birthdays this year. You could discuss an activity for one of his subgroups of friends, and then as an extra for a special birthday suggest a supplementary activity with a different group.

Could be a nice opportunity for him to start feeling enabled to manage different friendship groups, especially if there are some pairings that will be a disaster if forced together.

For his 13th birthday DS went go-karting and for pizza with 3 friends, and has since done golf driving range plus burger (gp of 4), airsoft (gp of 3) go karting, pizza, sleepover (gp of 2).

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