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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel a bit stalked by a dad from my child's activity has

10 replies

Lifeafternighy · 08/09/2024 20:49

My child has been attending an activity she enjoys for a couple of months now. She started the same day as another child and the dad started chatting me. During the conversation he sounded quite keen for me to follow said activity on their social media page, I did.
Since then I started receiving messages from a fake account telling me how beautiful I am etc.

It did not cross my mind that it was him until the next few weeks when he would start conversation subjects that are linked to me and he would have had to do some serious digging as I keep my social media as private as possible.

I mentioned that my dd is thinking of leaving said activity as she is finding it a bit boring. He then asks if I'm on social media I say yes. He then says my full name ( i didnt tell him this) and says 'I will add you'. It then all clicked that if must have been him sending me them messages on sm.
The following morning I receive a message saying 'hi * I have finally made an account x'. No picture or anything on his page. He clearly mad an account just to add me.

AIBU to feel a little creeped out?
I was thinking back at our last conversation after I put all the pieces together and realised he was trying to get information about me such as where I live etc and if attend certain places regularly.

OP posts:
Mummysaf · 08/09/2024 20:51

This has happened to me before
and yes it’s totally inappropriate and creepy

Whothefuckdoesthat · 08/09/2024 21:22

The following morning I receive a message saying 'hi * I have finally made an account x'. No picture or anything on his page. He clearly mad an account just to add me.

If he was encouraging you to follow the group’s social media so he could see their followers and track you down, then a more suspicious person might think he already had a fb account and had created a new account just for you, so that nobody on his original account noticed that you were a new friend and so that you didn’t have access to any information that he would rather you were not privy to, such as his relationship status.

He sounds like a creep. A not particularly bright creep. I would hope that you blocked the fake account and that you haven’t accepted the friend request. Reject it, tighten up your security even further and if he says anything, tell him the fact that he knew your full name without you telling him has made you quite concerned, especially so soon after getting some creepy anonymous messages from a fake account, so you’ve decided to not accept any new friend requests for a while.

Sassybooklover · 08/09/2024 21:28

If your daughter is planning on leaving the activity, then you can remove him from social media and block him. If she stays at the activity, you may be able to restrict what he sees on your social media. I am guessing you are single and so is he? Next time, he chats to you, say conversationally that you 'have a date on x'. It may make him back off if he thinks you are 'taken'. If all else fails just block him. You don't owe him an explanation.

Catlord · 08/09/2024 21:44

That's really creepy. I would block him and fake account (if you haven't already) and take DD to another group if she wants to go back. He's probably harmless but what a weird way to approach another person, making fake accounts, etc rather than just adding you and saying 'hi, it's Steve from DD's art class. Hope you don't mind me adding you'.

MintyNew · 08/09/2024 21:45

Sounds very creepy to me too op. I would completely block him.

Nchanged89 · 08/09/2024 22:07

If your DD is thinking of leaving the class anyway, dont push her to stay or try a bit longer, look for another one for her and leave that current one ASAP. Block him and keep a record of any messages or strange calls. He might be harmless, but he doesn't sound like someone I'd like to be friendly with.

KATHSTYLE · 08/09/2024 22:41

Warning bells all over this.

Since your daughter is not bothered about this activity - leave
Leave the Facebook group
Block the weird/ fake account
Check your Facebook settings are set to the highest security
Tell someone about him in real life and if you receive any weirdness at all - through any platform - record it and tell this same person.

PassingStranger · 08/09/2024 22:52

Is he single ?

lololulu · 08/09/2024 22:52

It bugs me that when a woman turns up to an activity ages hit on. I've no experience I've been with dh 20 years but I've heard stories.

It puts you off even looking at a man. Gross.

pasturesgreen · 08/09/2024 22:58

Block him on everything and review your privacy settings.

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