As maid of honour I don’t want to give speech

[Poutl]

My sister is getting married. She has asked me to be maid of honour. All the weddings I have attended involved the maid of honour giving one. I just don’t want to have to stress about it, I present a lot for work but really don’t like it. I just want to enjoy the day. I don’t think my sister would want me to do anything I didn’t want to.

Am I being rude/missing one of life’s special moments therefore it’s a bit of a shame?

Tbh no one wants more speeches than is necessary so she may thank you. Especially if she's doing a speech of her own.

Most maid of honours don't give speeches. Mine didn't 😚 just tell her oh god, please don't make me do a speech, it'll make me feel like in presenting at work, and you know how much I hate that!

I've never been to a wedding where the MOH made a speech...I certainly didn't have it. But if it comes up just say you'd rather not.

I've never been to a wedding that a maid of honour gave a speech just best man and usually after of the bride

In the UK there is no such thing as a maid of honour.
If you are unmarried, you are chief bridesmaid. If you are married you are Matron of Honour. There is no tradition of either being required to make a speech.

It's usually the Best Man that gives the speech and he will thank the Bridesmaids. I've never been to a wedding where MoH speaks.

Generally there are Chief Bridemaids in The Uk and I have never seen one give a speech

Yes the groom thanks the best maid/bridesmaids and the best man answers on their behalf if I remember correctly ?

I've never been to a wedding where the chief bridesmaid/maid of honour made a speech. Just ask your sister who she wants to give the speeches and if she says you tell her you're not up for it.

I’ve never been to a wedding where MOH does a speech, just speak to your sister.

Traditionally maid of honour do not give speeches. No women do. Father of the bride speaks for the bride’s family. Best man speaks for the grooms family and the groom gets up and tells everyone how lucky he is! 😆
I’m not sure I’ve ever been to a wedding where the maid of honour spoke?

I'm in the UK and have never heard about this chief bridesmaid/matron of honour thing. That's very pedantic. Everyone knows what a maid of honour is.

I don't think anyone will miss it if you don't do a speech OP. It's not expected, even at weddings where the bride does one. And luckily your sister isn't asking you to.

I e only seen one MoH do a speech.

It's far from compulsory. Just ask the bride.

Maid of Honour is absolutely a thing in the UK.

I really dont think its expected. At the last few weddings I've been to, MOH did give a speech, but every single time the B&G and even the guests were surprised rather than expecting it! I'd let your sister know you aren't comfortable doing a speech just incase she might be expecting it but no, YANBU to not want to do one!

In the UK traditionally its 3 speeches, we went to a wedding last year there wer 17 speeches😱.

I've been to one wedding where the chief bridesmaid gave a speech and we all thought it was weird she did that.

So I'd tell your sister no thanks.

All these multiple bridesmaids and groomsmen and speeches give me the dry boak. Just a waste of money on clothes they'll never wear again!

And half the time none of them even help the bride despite it being their job: "bride's maid"!

If she won't take no for an answer ask her if you could do a reading during the service instead?

The last wedding I attended had seven speeches. We were all bored. Not that they weren't good. It just took ages.

Bride's Father or other relative, Groom, Best Man and occasionally the Bride.

No need for any more speeches - the assembled throng would be bored to death.

I’ve never been to a wedding where any of the women involved have given a speech.

I’ve also been to maybe 2 weddings where the speeches were good. And about 200 where they were dull or excruciating.

I've only ever known two MOH/ CB speeches, both very much in keeping with the personalities of the two respective chief bridesmaids who were natural storytellers and very confident in the role. I don't think it's expected. Certainly not in the UK (the first of these was overseas).

Yes, which is why it is a hideously sexist tradition and lots of brides want to change it to bridesmaids speaking for themselves.

Just clarify what your sister’s thoughts are and let her know that you’d rather she asked one of the other bridesmaids do any speeches.

Without mentioning, as a PP suggests, that it will make you feel you are at work, that’s potentially quite insulting to say about your sisters emotional family occasion!

What I mean to say is I think they were asked because the brides knew they would enjoy writing and presenting the speeches, making the guests laugh etc, rather than wanting to force a reluctant speaker when it isn't strictly traditional

Totally agree that speeches at weddings are usually a terrible bore. Who enjoys them?

I've never heard of a MoH giving a speech, so please don't stress. If your sister wants you to speak, just stand up, say how lovely she looks, what a wonderful couple they make, thank whoever has paid for the wedding (parents? the couple? Thank everyone for coming and wish the couple a long and happy future together. Job done, over in 30 seconds.

Rules for wedding speeches:

Stand up to be seen,
Speak up to be heard, but most of all...for God's sake,
Sit down to be appreciated!

I’ve never been to a wedding where the maid of honour has given a speech, just the groom, best man and dads. Has your sister mentioned a speech? If not I’d just ask her if she is expecting one or tell her you’re not doing one so you can stop worrying about it