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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parents are feeders

11 replies

Excitedforchange879 · 08/09/2024 16:49

Aswell as the feeding thing when I'm on a diet. I'm a fully grown adult in her 30s, my dad is I think a narcissist perhaps, always puts you down but I don't know if it is me or if it is him, always seems to be in a joking way. He seems to just have a way of making me feel down. He's also quite nice, like today I've been around and he says he will make me some food to take home. I said it's ok as I'm on a calorie counting diet I've just started so I won't take it as won't be able to know the calorie content. About an hour later I'm offered a high calorie drink, I just take it, but say I won't be able to have dinner now as a joke. For the last 2years I have had a class I go to on a Sunday and it is a good excuse for me to go home as my parents always want to guilt me into being with them. Today, I say I am about to go at about 4 as I have to be at my class, my dad is acting disappointed, as he's put dinner on, and said hed made some for me. I explained, I've had my class for 2 years and I didn't bother explaining about my diet... As for some reason I don't want to feel ungrateful🙄. Then he proceeds to offer me tasters. Ahhh what am I meant to do... Am I ungrateful? I said thanks, I could take it home as he said he's cooked loads now... If I try and put my foot down I'm just felt like I'm ungrateful, but it's not out right said to me, so is it me or him? I've done these calorie counting diets a few times, I have no way to count it. He always does this, tells me things are healthy but massive portions and full of oil, I can't calorie count it. It really gets me down and feels like it's not a coincidence, every time I try and change I'll get offered loads of stuff now in the coming months...

OP posts:
ActualChips · 08/09/2024 16:52

'No thank you'
🤷🏼‍♀️

Baguettesandcheeseforever · 08/09/2024 16:54

They just sound like normal parents who want to offer food as a way of caring? I think you’re over reacting. Just say no thank you and move on.

Excitedforchange879 · 08/09/2024 16:55

ActualChips · 08/09/2024 16:52

'No thank you'
🤷🏼‍♀️

I do, it doesn't stop, until I leave the house. I can't just walk out? Or again, I'm being rude

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 08/09/2024 16:56

You are an adult. You eat what and when you choose. He's not forcing you, he's just offering. Some people love cooking and feeding people. But all you have to is decline. 'I'm going to class now, no thanks, I'm not hungry.'
I actually don't mind being offered plenty of food, even though I usually decline. I wouldn't take it badly. Just say no.

HungryLittleCrocodile · 08/09/2024 16:58

Are they overweight/fat?

I have noticed over the years, that fat people don't like it when other fat people try to lose weight. And they are extremely resentful when you do.

I have lost 24 pounds - since mid April - and dropped 2 dress sizes, and I have a friend (who is 4-5 stone overweight,) and she has been offering me chocolate and cream cakes and sausage rolls for WEEKS now.

She was with me when someone I hadn't seen for 4 months saw me and said 'wow Crocodile! You've dropped some weight. How much have you lost?' Said 'friend' went purple in the face as I said 'almost 2 stone in about 5 months.' My 'friend' said 'I hadn't noticed.' Wink Miaow! 😆

FuckThePoPo · 08/09/2024 17:00

Blimey fancy telling your dad you can't eat dinner because of the drink he offered and you accepted! My dad would consider me unhinged if I did that 😂

parents are always trying to get you to have something out of the cupboard, eat something, take some food, take some
random stuff or another. I always take it and either eat it, bin it or wear it

Butterfly43 · 08/09/2024 17:04

My mum does this, if I ever say no to anything (food or otherwise) she pulls a face, acts very hurt and starts guilt tripping and implying I'm ungrateful. It's very irritating. You have to just stay strong and continue saying no in a polite cheery tone. Before you go round, maybe remind your dad that you won't be eating anything as you're on a diet and will have already eaten. If he continues to push when you get there, just cheerily say you did remind him earlier and then change the subject.

Excitedforchange879 · 08/09/2024 18:13

HungryLittleCrocodile · 08/09/2024 16:58

Are they overweight/fat?

I have noticed over the years, that fat people don't like it when other fat people try to lose weight. And they are extremely resentful when you do.

I have lost 24 pounds - since mid April - and dropped 2 dress sizes, and I have a friend (who is 4-5 stone overweight,) and she has been offering me chocolate and cream cakes and sausage rolls for WEEKS now.

She was with me when someone I hadn't seen for 4 months saw me and said 'wow Crocodile! You've dropped some weight. How much have you lost?' Said 'friend' went purple in the face as I said 'almost 2 stone in about 5 months.' My 'friend' said 'I hadn't noticed.' Wink Miaow! 😆

Awww, sorry your friend did that to you, well done for shifting the weight, it's so hard, especially when others aren't being supportive! You've had to work extra hard, well done!!!

OP posts:
Excitedforchange879 · 08/09/2024 18:14

Butterfly43 · 08/09/2024 17:04

My mum does this, if I ever say no to anything (food or otherwise) she pulls a face, acts very hurt and starts guilt tripping and implying I'm ungrateful. It's very irritating. You have to just stay strong and continue saying no in a polite cheery tone. Before you go round, maybe remind your dad that you won't be eating anything as you're on a diet and will have already eaten. If he continues to push when you get there, just cheerily say you did remind him earlier and then change the subject.

Thank you I think youve explained it better than I did, I will try this going forward a reminder before hand deffo will help and then yes a cheery no, can't do anymore than that I don't think

OP posts:
Anonym00se · 08/09/2024 18:18

“Thanks Dad, can you put it in a Tupperware and I’ll take it with me and have it after my class”. Then bin it when you get home. Everybody’s happy.

Alucard55 · 08/09/2024 18:43

It's so annoying when you say no and someone starts the go on go on stuff. Say thank you then leave it at the side or take it and bin it.

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