To remove DS from DH football team?

[Mrsgrapesauce]

DH is a coach of a football team he stepped up because the other coach left. The football manager is all over the place very poor training and in all honesty his heart isn’t in it. DH tries his best but it’s not down to him.

Every weekend DS comes home in tears DH is being to hard on him. He said today he doesn’t want to play football anymore.

Do I look for another football team or just try some other sports?

No I'd speak to DH and figure out why he's being too hard on him.

How old is DS? How much does he actually like football? Maybe try something else for a while and investigate other football options in case he wants to try it again?

No, I think you need to speak to your husband.

DH says he isn’t playing good and doesn’t listen. But the kids are having very poor training some days it gets cancelled. So he can’t even be mad at the kids.

Or try having a conversation with your husband? Maybe he doesn't realise. Does his son let him know he's upsetting him. Is he really being hard on him, or is your son not as good as other players and making excuses? There's lots of things to discuss before changing teams or sports!

I'm confused why the manager being poor means DH is too hard on your child. Two separate issues surely

Well DS has said today he doesn’t want to play football at all. But I’m unsure on whether it’s because he is just having negative experiences.

Why is the manager responsible if training is poor? Does the coach not plan the training sessions?

Honestly i think it will just get worse . My ex coached son for a while and its not easy. Feltnit ruined our whole weekend. Ex no longer coaches and son moved teams now so all good.

If its as bad as you say all the players will soon leave and wont be a team

Poor training doesn't equal not listening though, that's 2 separate things.

Is your DH trying not to show favouritism?

How old is DS ? Is he just at that point where they are a bit whingey about training ?
6-9 ?
Perhaps DH is just frustrated that he is trying so hard but DS not trying his best ?? We had the same when DH coached DS team but it passed . In an ideal world DH would just try to take a massive deep breath and ignore some of DS bad behaviour or perhaps you could go and support - be the one to tell DS off / encourage if he is disengaged. I sympathise it is hard.

Perhaps your DH is doing his best but is not a very good coach. Anyway, I would let your son drop out as he wants to and if he wants to join another team in the future, let him.

How old is your DS?

DS is 7 I think DH put to much pressure on him because it’s his son and wants him to play football. DS is bit more like me and more geeky and into tech.

Oh god, maybe they should both give up. Not everyone is a good coach. I wonder if the other boys are enjoying it?

We find in our team that kids always tend to play up/not listen when their dad is manager/coach. My partner is coach and he says the manager's son is like a different child when his dad isn't there, listens and so much more enthusiastic.

I'd definitely look for another team for him if you can cope with taking him, as obvs your DH will be busy with his team.

I think it's always hard as a parent or a child relationship when the parent is a leader of a group with the child in it.
I understand why it happens, and sometimes it's unavoidable, but best not.

Parents either come down too hard - or if they don't will probably have other parents crying favouritism.

Children often behave differently when parents are in charge - which does sometimes mean badly, but not always.

If a child gets an award/something good, it'll be assumed that because they're them not because they deserve it.

I'd have a chat with your dh, and see how he feels about his/ds' behaviour. But ultimately if your ds isn't enjoying it, then he's better doing something else.

Sorry, I didn't see this comment. Perhaps don't find him another team then! Take him out, give him a bit of time, then ask him of he'd like to try another team.

So, is your husband sending home multiple 7 year olds in tears or just your son?

Neither of these options are acceptable.

Walking the dog this afternoon, I passed a kids' game. The coach was yelling at the poor little lads. All I could think was poor kids would be put off for life.
Too many men think it's bigger than it is!
No, Ryan, the FA is not going to swoop in and get you managing Man Utd because Fenn St U9 won a match!

From my experience most kids don't behave as well when their parent is coaching, but usually the only way to guarantee a decent atmosphere in a team and for it to continue is for a parent to run it.

If DS doesn't want to do it then let him stop, however its first week of the season here, with some leagues still not started. Are they about to start matches that he will enjoy more? Lots of small kids don't get the point of training if they aren't playing matches, particularly if the coaching isn't very good so they aren't explaining to them why they are doing particular drills.

It's really not like that. None of the managers aspire to be professional. They're normally just dads who've been roped in when their child's manager has left. They're passionate and competitive, yes, but generally for the sake of the kids doing well, rather than for their own benefit.

Yeah it’s a good job there are dads out there who do volunteer their time to enable grassroot football. People don’t appreciate how hard it can be and how demanding some of the parents are.