To hate potluck events?

[RhubarbieRhubarbie]

With the occasional exception... like with a group of friends, who all enjoy cooking for each other, and/or for some kind of communal event where it's mutually agreed.

But been invited to a friend's birthday party which is bring drinks and a dish to share.
I wouldn't bat an eyelid at being asked to bring drinks, but they have plenty of money to host a small gathering with a few snacks (it's at their home), and I personally find it such a faff. Adding cooking to the list of things that need to happen before leaving the house, transporting the food safely, not to mention thinking what to make.

I don't like eating food made by strangers on the brink of cold and flu season either.

When I host, I host within my means, and just want people to make their way over ready to relax

Am I the only one who thinks pot lucks for a birthday party are a pain?

A bit crap to throw a party but instruct guests to bring bring the food and the drink. 'bring a bottle' is fine, and what most good guests would do anyway when attending a house party, but they should put their hand in their own pocket to sort the food!

and yes, people bring all kinds of grim dishes to these things!

I think of a pot luck being a very American thing. I've never been to one.

I've never been a fan of buffets and post covid refuse to go anywhere that is a buffet/ self serve - all those people breathing over it & using their unwashed hands, yuk!
I would either not go or reply saying we'd pop in early/late for a drink but won't be eating.

YANBU
“You can’t eat at everybody’s house”

www.tiktok.com/@christophermillsmusic/video/7159202185157578030

We do this all the time and I freaking love it. I rarely host as we have quite a small house compared to some of our friends. they host a lot, none of us have much money so spreading out the stress and the cost like this works brilliantly.
Some of us make really amazing curries or side dishes, I usually bake a cake. A few of us can barely cook scrambled egg and hate it so they tend to bring nice nibbles. Someone usually makes a cocktail as there offering.
Given that the house have to tidy up their house and tidy up the after mess it feels fair.
If it's a big party of over 50 it tends to be the core 15 that get asked to do it, and there's no obligation whatsoever.

Host not house

Agree. They do these at work and everyone ends up with a plate of quiche and crisps and curry and hummus and stale french bread.

I love a potluck party. I have an American friend who does these and now they have filtered into the main friendship group. I love trying other people’s diverse dishes/recipes. Makes life interesting. And it’s cheaper than going out for dinner/lunch.

I think they work OK if there is a theme to the food and people discuss beforehand what they're going to bring. I'm in group of about 8 women who meet a couple of times a year in one of our houses and we tend to do this ... but then discuss in the WhatsApp group who is bringing what, so we know we'll have have mains and salads which go together, pudding, pre-dinner snacks - that sort of thing. It works out quite well.

But I have been to one before where someone brought the most amazing, huge, home made biryani which was gorgeous, but everyone else brought things like Italian meat and cheese, bread and salads. Whereas some Indian sides and breads would have been SO much nicer.

😂

We call them a “Jacob’s Join” round here .. I like them, I’m pretty sure I’ve never caught Fluf from something someone’s cooked.

At least they can't expect a birthday present if you're bringing food and drink.

Jacob's table!

I'm more than happy to eat cake people have made and have not yet been disappointed.

This is a “fuddle” where I’m from. I think they’re only good when it’s, for instance, the office Christmas fuddle. But doing it with mates in each other’s homes is a bit naff imho.

DH tells me at one time the invitation would say “gentlemen bring a bottle, ladies bring a plate”. At least we’ve moved on a bit from there.

I’ve been to a lot. Never cooked, just buy something nice. They work well in some contexts, eg end of year celebration by hobby club or language class - any group who would like to celebrate together, and don’t want the expense of a restaurant. Or where the “host” is merely offering accommodation and can’t be expected to provide food (like when DS recently offered my garden as a venue for a get-together of his friends).

I hate them because no one thinks to provide full ingredient lists. You can’t realistically go and query every person about their dish. So if you have allergies, you just don’t eat.

Fuddle here.
Work great.
Home I love putting a spread on....part of the fun

I knew it wasn't just me!
I agree there's a time and a place for them, but I don't think an adult's birthday party is one of them, especially when it's mandated.

Spot on.

We went to a pot luck wedding reception last year. We were "allocated" what to bring (we'd driven 300 miles, it just had to come from the nearest supermarket). There was so much food. Ridiculous amounts. So much left at the end of the night. Food bank wouldn't take it as it had been unrefrigerated. Also, all sorts of random styles of food, it was all very disjointed and badly managed.

😩

I like them but with a bit of organising so you don't end up with all puddings or salads etc. I have a lot of foods I can't eat, so with a potluck I know I'll at least be able to eat my own.

I only bring fruits to these events. I can’t eat a lot of what others bring (no problem) so I just have the fruit I brought. I don’t drink alcohol so I would bring sparkling water instead. I’ve never been asked to bring a bottle though.

This sounds bonkers!

I love a pot luck! But my friends are foodies and make the most exquisite dishes. I look forward to trying something new and flavourful. And the friends always make a massive effort with their one dish you know everything is going to be good.

If I could divvy out Xmas dinner like this with my extended family I would be ecstatic.

I'm always happy to cook and bring, but I'm very selective about whose food I'll eat.