Please bear with me, this is probably going to be a long post but I feel like I can’t carry on like this anymore and I feel so desperately unhappy. I don’t know where to start with how to make things better. I’ll try and give as much background as possible.
I am a single parent to my dd(15), have an amicable relationship with Exh, he lives about 20 miles away and she goes there 2 or 3 weekends out of the month and a bit more sometimes in holidays.
My dd has SEN and hasn’t attended school for over a year now. She was referred for education support and has (is supposed to have) tutoring for 1 hour a day. When she was referred, there was quite a long gap from her not attending school to having a tutor. During that time, she became more isolated, she has no friends, she hardly leaves the house and has become increasingly anxious and depressed.
I work, but over the past year, I’ve had to more or less half my hours to be at home more, as a parent has to be present when the tutor comes. I can’t get any help with this as I have no family near and my ex h is very unwell and unable to drive back and forth to be here.
Dd has attended appointments spanning over 7-8 years, with CAMHS / CYPS / Counselling services, you name it! She had counselling for the majority of the time and then a diagnosis of ADHD, on waitlist for neurodevelopment pathway at the moment but I’ll be honest, it’s so hard to get her to engage that it hasn’t been much help.
Things have now deteriorated so much that as well as the Learning difficulties, she has developed ocd type of behaviours, she’s almost definitely depressed, has quite severe anxiety, and I think demand avoidance.
Every day is a battle. She doesn’t go to sleep until 2-3am. I try to go to bed earlier on the days I work, as I’m up quite early, she wakes me up because she’ll be up and down the stairs, has showers and sometimes is distressed. I try and get her up before lunch as her tutor comes in the afternoon, but every day this ends in her crying, pleading, getting angry, saying she can’t do it etc. Any type of input from anyone is met with strong resistance, her tutor, clinicians, counsellors, anyone who tries to help basically.
I am dealing with this every single day. I’m exhausted, I feel so down and I’ve fought for so long to get the right help that I just feel like giving up. I worry for her future, she has no friends, no hobbies (despite trying to get her involved or to engage with anyone / anything). My life revolves around her, I do have a lovely supportive family and friends and small breaks when she goes to her dads, but I feel like I have no life. I just want her to be happy, then I’ll be happy. I don’t have the energy to do this anymore. I hate my life as it is now.
Thankyou if you’ve made it this far.