To feels so anxious about the state of maternity care

[tryingnewthing]

I am 36 weeks tomorrow and consultant led, at the beginning of my pregnancy I was sent a list of midwife appointments all the way up until I gave birth, then a subsequent letter cancelling all appointments with an explanation that they'll give out appointments at the previous appointment.
My appointment was at 34 weeks and I asked for my next appointment to be told it would be in two weeks time at 36 weeks and would come in the post.
That's tomorrow and no appointments in the post so going to have to chase to make sure I don't miss it.
I've also heard nothing from a Hv yet and when I had a consultation with the dr he said he needed to see me again in a couple of weeks and to book something at reception but reception had no appointments before my due date and have left it that they'll send an appointment if they get a cancellation, I've been waiting over a month so not holding my breath.
It was originally the plan I was supposed to have an induction at 37 (one week away) weeks as I'm high risk but there's no appointments available to arrange this, now there saying by 39 weeks.
I have no idea when I'll be seen next and can't wait to get this pregnancy over.
I will not be having another and I'm so anxious about it all.
I live in a major city with one hospital and it's got a rating of needs improvement and terrible reviews.

I completely agree I was high risk and consultant led and was terrified the entire time, the care was abysmal and the entire pregnancy and I was constantly thinking if we both survive this it's by sheer luck and not because of the care given.

Many times I had appointments cancelled and no one told me until I got there, I had to constantly chase appointments as they would tell me they would book them but never did, I often sat and waited hours for each appointment, I was left wailing in pain with heavy bleeding and suspected miscarriage in an A & E bay at 8 weeks for 6 hours without seeing a single soul and no follow up care when I finally left to go home and cry in my own bed. The whole thing was incredibly traumatic and it's truly a miracle I have a healthy baby at home.

But I completely agree, never again. One thing I will give credit for is my planned c section was amazingly well done and a wonderful experience. But the post natal care was also shit and I got discharged against my wishes because the ward was full and I couldn't get my baby latched at all and was hand expressing into a cup 🤦 there was absolutely no support for breastfeeding until it was far too late and now I have to pulp and bottle feed because my babies tongue tie wasn't corrected until she was 9 weeks old.

I'm sure people will tell you to be grateful because it's free and we're lucky to have an NHS but mums and babies deserve better, there's a reason we are one of the countries in Europe with the worst maternal and neonatal outcomes and the lowest breastfeeding rates.

Good luck with your baby, hopefully you will have a healthy baby at home very soon x