Part of being an adult is ensuring the house is secure, right?

[planAplanB]

Just gone downstairs to find the back gate still hooked wide open and the back door unlocked. STBEXH just went up to bed and left it like this. I'd already gone up so if I hadn't have gone down, our house would have been open to anyone during the night. Our children's bedroom is on the ground floor. AIBU to be pissed off over this?? My father drilled into me that the last person to bed secures the house.

YANBU. I call it the closing shift and I do it every night because I can't trust everyone else in the house to do it properly even though DH is usually pretty good. I can't relax until I've made sure the house is tidy and secure.

Honestly I think that men just don't have the same sense of needing security like women do. We are always taught to be careful and lock doors, etc. My DP is the same, has left doors unlocked or even ajar overnight!

I think it really depends on the men. Most of the men in my life including the ones I grew up with are very responsible when it comes to securing windows and doors etc. And you’d think married men with kids would be a bit protective of their family?

It’s not even just men, I lived with a female flatmate who used to leave the front door unlocked during the day which was just a big no no in East Croydon. When I pulled her up on it after it happening a few times she just kind of giggled and said she was too used to her safe hometown in Sweden.

I told her straight she wasn’t there anymore and she better start locking the door or I’d move out and she’d pay the rent herself.

I’ve done this a couple of times. I just forgot. My DH didn’t go off the deep end. He just doubled checks now.

My ex left the garage door open all night several times.
My garage has a non-locking sliding door which opens into the living room.
We are on a main road, so anyone could have seen it open and come in.
He also left the house and letterbox keys in the lock of the letterbox at the bottom of the driveway, and front and back doors open at various times.
He did also set the oven on fire and stuffed the vacuum by trying to vacuum up water and glass…

@StealthSpinach Hmm 🤔 trying to figure out why he’s your ex 🤭

I can't imagine why🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣

If my DP didn't lock up one night, my reaction would be to think 'Blimey, DP must have forgotten to lock the back door! Oh well, no harm done' and then get on with my day. Because nobody's perfect and we all forget to do stuff now and again.

So, as this man is your 'soon to be'; ex, I'm guessing you're only really so annoyed about this because you can't stand him. In other words: it's not really about the gate.

I once got home "not that drunk" but realised next morning that I must have been completely off my face because the front door wasn't even shut, let alone locked. I lived in a high crime area so was very lucky not to be robbed or worse. Only happened the once, though.

As a one-off, assuming he was contrite, I'd forgive and forget. However, if it speaks to a wider pattern of behaviour and he's not remorseful and doesn't think you should be upset about it, I'd be furious.